[shane4444]

So it has been since September since my girlfriend and I broke up. She was the love of my life. But I definitely always felt like I was more in love with her than she me. While we were dating she was always very critical of me because I graduated college when I was 24 and had just started my first serius job when I was almost 25. She is a year and a half older than I am. She had finished school when she was 21 and has had a serious job since. She is a very career driven individual but was put through school by her father. I on the other hand moved across the country when I was 19, started at community college, and transferred to a 4 year university after 2 years. During the time I held multiple jobs and an internship all while transitioning to a big city. I did this all on my own.
I know this is the reason it took me so long to finish school, get a job and start a career. But that used to bother me and still does even though its been this long. In addition to this while we were dating she developed quite a drug problem. This would lead to us staying up to all ends of the night to get her drugs and doing them. I would particiapate on occasion as well.
When I finally started asking her to cut back she would get angry and let me know she is more successful than I am and I don't need to worry about it. When I really tried to put my foot down, this is when she cut me out of her life. We were constantly fighting about the shady things she was doing. In addition to this I started to do some shady things as well like metting other girls and acting as if I was single again. This is when our relationship really started to fall apart and I believe she was doing the same thing.
So now its 4 almost 5 months later. I still love her. The first time I talked to her was about 2 weeks ago she she told me before christmas she was still doing a lot of coke and the same stuff.
I feel like I am getting better and somewhat getting over her but I still want to be with her.
When we tried to hang out it turned into a fight and we never ended up getting together.
This girl is the love of my life but I don't know what to do. We haven't talked in 2 weeks again and I miss her more all of the time. I know she did some terrible things to me but I cannot get her out of my head. I looked at a picture of her for the first time in 4 months and it made me burn inside.

What do I do?

[NItEMArE129]

Go no contact. Dump every picture you have of her o put them where you won't see them. Delete her from Facebook, msn, IM, and anything else. You need space and time to heal, and that's exactly what you need to start making. Nobody's going to do this for you, so stand up and get moving! The only person you NEED to rely on is yourself.

[wolfgangqpublic]

She is completely self-destructive. She sounds like a bad 80s movie about rich corporate kids or young lawyers gone horribly wrong. I'm sure you spent some fun times together but BELIEVE ME, fate has afforded you a wonderful gift to get away from somebody who can ultimately bring you nothing but pain.

[jmw0713]

Get rid of anything that reminds you of her. Do what Nitemare said and don't talk to her. Distance yourself as far away as possible from this train wreck of a woman.

Like Charlie Murphy says "Cocaine is a hell of a drug" but it is hell trying to get off it too. Soon she will be doing other things besides spending her money to get it.

Be glad you got out when you did. Hopefully you're not doing drugs anymore.

[talaniman]

Keep staying away from her, as it will take time, and remember she loves the dope more than you.

[cinamon2661]

Okay, I know everyone else on here is telling you to just plain "stay away from her", and "time will heal" blah blah blah. And okay, this is not meant offensively to those people, because for some people, maybe it does work. But honestly, for others, like myself, it actually makes it worse to hear those things.

It's obvious you love her - I know how you feel. I just broke up with my boyfriend, and though, neither of us do drugs, he does have a disorder, which everyone says will "make my life more difficult" anyway, and I'm "better off without him", which I'm sure you've heard as well.

First off, I want to say, good for you! I don't even know you, and I'm proud of you for pushing yourself hard enough to get through college with no financial help, and working your off, excuse my language. No matter what anyone says, you need to know that you worked hard, and YOU believed in yourself, and that's all that matters. College is tough, believe me, I know, I'm in college right now. So, good job! =)

As for cheating on her, well... not so good job, for lack of a better way of saying it. I'm sure there were a ton of pressures, and outstanding circumstances that I don't know about, so I'm not here to judge. But, I will say this - if you do go back out with this girl, you should talk about it first, and make sure NEITHER of you cheat. If you're in love with someone, you shouldn't even WANT to be with anyone else enough to even think about cheating. It one thing to say someone is attractive - it's another to act on it. If you don't truly want to be with HER and ONLY HER, then it's not even worth perusing. As for her doing drugs, that a whole other issue, which you can address later. Right now, it's obvious your focus is on getting her back.

Now, I know missing someone, well it hurts like hell. I won't even begin to describe how it feels, because obviously you know. But, you're lost without her it seems, and you've had some space and time to maybe heal some of the old wounds already, so you're ahead of the game. The fact that you recently got into another fight though is not a good sign. Maybe, take some time to work on YOURSELF, and change for the better (which is what I'm trying to do), because you can't change another person. Also, it is very hard to love another if you don't love yourself. So, take some time, cut off contact with her for a while (I know it's hard, but it's necessary), and then when you feel more positive about your own life, depending on how long it take, you can see where you can go from there with this girl.

I hope I helped even a little, with my ridiculously long message. I just love helping people.

[slapshot_oi]

What do I do??

Easy, have her arrested for drug possession. An 8-ball is a quick conviction to 3+ years, depending in what state you live.