[laylabug803]

My daughter is 2 1/2 years old. I live in NC. I left her biological father 2 years ago. He has had no contact with her in the whole 2 years. He began to deny her when we broke up(never married) and I too him to court for child support, so he requested a DNA test which of course came back positive. He still hasn't tried to contact me for her or an attorney. He has paid 3 child support payments in 2 whole years.. that is all. He is getting in torubel with the law. I have since married and he wants to adopt her. He has bene in her life since she was 7 months old and it's the only father she knows. I was very confident I would be able to terminate his aprental rights involuntarily due to his lack of contact, support and the fact that her step father is here ready to take the responsibility of her. So my question is that, I've read, in some states a child support payment alone is enough to be considered contatc with the child and therefore can not be considered as abandonment. So because one for the three payment she has actaully made to me for child support was last month, does this mean it will be harder to terminate his rights as if he has has contact with her and supported her because the last payment he made was only a month ago? Ive researched eveyrhting I can online so I need serious helpful answeres, not really hear say stuff, any logical facts you amy know about this because before I go pay for a consultation to speak with a lwyer id like to only have to pay it once, I am avery young mother(20) and I'm trying to do what's best for my duaghter and our fmaily... so I need to know eveyrhting I can before I go and pay someone to talk to me for 30 minutes just to find out its not going to work and I need to wait 6 more months of him not paying child support before I can terminate his rights. Thank you! Any help is some help!

[JudyKayTee]

My daughter is 2 1/2 years old. I live in NC. I left her biological father 2 years ago. he has had no contact wiht her in the whole 2 years. he began to deny her when we broke up(never married) and i too him to court for child support, so he requested a DNA test which of course came back positive. He stil hasnt tried to contact me for her or an attorney. He has paid 3 child support payments in 2 whole years..that is all. He is getting in torubel wiht the law. I have since married and he wants to addopt her. He has bene in ehr life since she was 7 months old and its the only father she knows. I was very confident i would be able to terminate his aprental rights involuntarily due to his lack of contact, support and the fact that her step father is here ready to take the responsibility of her. So my question is that, ive read, in some states a child support payment alone is enough to be considered contatc wiht the child and therefore can not be considered as abandonment. So becuase one fo the three payment she has actaully made to me for child support was last month, does this mean it wil be harder to terminate his rights as if he has has contact wiht her and supported her becasue the last payment he made was only a month ago? Ive researched eveyrhting i can online so i need serious helpful answeres, not really hear say stuff, any logical facts you amy knwo about this becasue before i go pay for a consultation to speak wiht a lwyer id liek to only have to pay it once, i am avery young mother(20) and im trying to do whats best for my duaghter and our fmaily...so i need to know eveyrhting i cna before i go and pay someone to talk to me for 30 minutes just to find out its not goign to work and i need to wait 6 more months of him not paying child support before i can terminate his rights. thank you! any help is some help!

The child has not been abandoned by her father. As you have said, he supported her as recently as last month. There is no requirement that he has to visit with her or have any other contact.

You can always ask him if he'll consent to an adoption so he doesn't have to pay any more child support. He just may consent.

When you say "step father," are you married or do you live with the person?

I don't know which State you are in and what research you have done but all States are different and I am not aware of the "6 month rule." Basically you cannot terminate the father's rights for your own purposes.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, in most states merely not paying child support and not visiting are NOT grounds for terminating rights, And as long as he is payig his child support you are not going to get his rights taken away without his permission.

The arrest and going to prison, if the prison sentence is extended ( for a long time) some states allow rights to be terminated for that.

While I am glad you found someone new for you and your child. But you will need to get the bio father to sign over his rights. You can and should have your attorney review it all, but if he does not visit, he may not care to sign over so child support stops

[laylabug803]

I am in NC as stated ni my first posting, and yes we are married.. not just living together. And this is not for my purposes at all.. this is all about my dughter... does not concern me one bit other than the well being of my daughter. Abandonment is not a rule it is a law, and it is considered abandonment with no contact in 6 consecutive months. He isn't paying child support, he ahs only made 3 pymnts wihtin 2 years. They last one just happene to be last month. So my question is... should I disocntinue the child support so that he will have to take it unpon himself to make pymnts( which he wont) and after 6 months go to court to terminate his rihgts... OR... will they still take into consideration that he has only paid 3 times in 2 years.. that is not supporting a child. Thank you

[JudyKayTee]

i am in NC as stated ni my first posting, and yes we are married..not just living togehter. and this is not for my purposes at all..this is all about my dughter...does not concern me one bit other than the well being of my daughter. Abandonment is not a rule it is a law, and it is considered abandonment wiht no contact in 6 consectutive months. he isnt paying child support, he ahs only made 3 pymnts wihtin 2 years. They last one just happene to be last month. So my question is...should i disocntinue the child support so that he will have to take it unpon himself to amke pymnts( which he wont) and after 6 months go to court to terminate his rihgts....OR....will they still take into consideration that he has only paid 3 times in 2 years..that is not supporting a child. thankyou

Here is the NC Statute. Only an Attorney can advise you of the best way to proceed.

Please don't DEMAND that anyone answer you in any certain fashion.

Note that the father is served when you begin a abandonment procedure so that he may respond.

GS_7B-1111

[ScottGem]

First, you need to get the chip off your shoulder. Both Chuck and Judy's responses were designed to help you. I don't know where you saw a put down in Judy's response but I didn't see anything of the sort.

Second, please don't presume to dictate what or how we can answer. We are here to give you the benefit of our knowledge. You may not like the information you receive, but as long as its accurate, then its considered help. And what you received was accurate.

Finally, some states have GUIDELINES for the grounds that can be used to get a TPR. Those guidelines are not laws. I quote from the statutte Judy linked to:

"The court may terminate the parental rights upon a finding of one or more of the following:"

Note the word MAY in that quote. That makes them guidelines not law. A judge must rule on what they feel is in the best interest of the child.

However, in your case, since you have someone waiting to adopt, I would guess that a judge will grant the TPR to clear the way for the adoption. What you need to do is retain an attorney to prepare the adoption petition. Part of the prep will be to either get the bio father to relinquish his rights ro ask the court for a TPR.

[Fr_Chuck]

You will find courts very seldom terminate rights. The statue is normally used to punish them for failure to pay child support and used for chid support enforcement.

The rule is used to modify visitation schedules and more.

[laylabug803]

Thank you fr_chuck. It is very seldom that they termiate rights and they will exhaust every posibility before they do so. But with his and background and how he has treated her and that my husbadn has been here and willing to adopt her... she won't be fatherless... I hope it'll work. My husband si the only person she knows. I can not change my daughter lastname because he refused to consent to it. She shares his last name. Id like to change her lastnae but cannot do so wihtout his consent.. and he refuses to have any contact or visitaions with her but also refuses to consent to an adoption, name change, or tpr.

[stevetcg]

first of all, this website is not designed for evryone to liek eachother it is simply for advice adn knowledge in areas from other peopel that you yourself may not ahve as much experience in, as you said. But when referring tot he GUIDLINES, the conversation wa sin regards to the abandonment..not TPR. the LAW for abandonment in NC is 6 months of no contact. The GUIDLINES for a TPR, are completelt different and do not whatsoever pertain to what we were discussing. But thank you for ebing so concerned to voice your opinion on on i responded to someone elses post when every thign in it ALMOST was answered in ym original post and feelignt hat you could not have offered me your opinion on my legal situation wihtout alos voicing your opinion on me as a person and my responses to other peopel judgements. What i took personally from judy's post was when she said that i need to not try and terminate his rights for my own person purposes. which was stated in my response to her post, that i didnt liek that ebcause thats not what im doing and even stated that this i only in regards to what is in the best interest of my daughter, not myself.So once again..if you would liek to respind to my post for helpful legal advice or facts that you may know or have uptained from personal experiances, please do so. If you want to judge a strangers character, then please do not respond to my post. thank you again sweetie!

If you would like legal advice, speak to a lawyer. If you would like people to help you and give advice, treat them with respect. The title of your post refers to TPR so that IS what we are discussing here.

Like Scott said, if you want help, get the chip off your shoulder and stop acting like you know everything already. If you knew everything already you wouldn't need to ask.

If you want to argue with someone, do it somewhere else.

[stevetcg]

thank you fr_chuck. It is very seldom that they termiate rights and they will exhaust every posibility before they do so. But with his and background and how he has treated her adn that my husbadn has been here and willing to adopt her...she wont be fatherless...i hope itll work. My husband si the only person she knows. I cna nto change my daughter lastname because he refused to consent to it. She shares his last name. Id liek to change ehr lastnae but cannot do so wihtout his consent..and he refuses to have any contact or visitaions wiht her but also refuses to consent to an adoption, name change, or tpr.

If he refuses to consent to an adoption you might well resign yourself to the fact that it is not going to happen.

He does not have to have contact with her if he so chooses, regardless of what you might think.

[ScottGem]

You claim there is a law about abandonment. Are you referring to something different from the link Judy posted? If so, please provide a specific cite or link to that law.

As far as I know, Abandonment is a criminal offense that refers to living a child without any adult supervision. Abandonment can also be used as grounds to obtain something else like a divorce or TPR.

If you have any documentation of something different, please lets us know. Most of us are interested in the accuracy of the advice we post and if we have posted anything incorrectly we want to know it.