[talaniman]

Have you started the celebration yet? I have. I am glad for you.

[zeeniee]

Hey Tal, you will have to have a cocktail for me and start the celebrations for me as I coming down with a evil flu as I am emailing! Yeap I can feel the thing creeping on me and I feel like a jellyfish. I swear I will join in as soon as I am better.

I am v tried and exhausted- I think right now a sniff of cocktail is all I need to get drunk!

[talaniman]

Brandy and hot tea, with honey and lemon juice, two Advil's, and a Ricola (cough drop) will have you partying hardy in no time.

[starbuck8]

Hey Tal, you will have to have a cocktail for me and start the celebrations for me as i coming down with a evil flu as i am emailing!! Yeap i can feel the thing creeping on me and i feel like a jellyfish. I swear i will join in as soon as i am better.

I am v tried and exhausted- i think right now a sniff of cocktail is all i need to get drunk!!

I'll see if I can't find you a get well potion so you can feel better and we can celebrate with you when you are feeling better! :D

[zeeniee]

Hi all, I am much better now- thanks. I did some celebrations today- had 4 cocktails and I am pretty much legless...
I am v troubled these few days- I know I should be the happiest person right now but I feel v sad and down... I am like a yo-yo and I am fed-up with ME- during the day I am fine. Today for example, I actually did some meaningful constructive work that actually made sense to another person at work- which is good as I don't think I have done that since Sept! So I have realised OK I can handle work and work days and lunches and early evenings much better (normally at the gym). I now walk part of the way home after the gym- just to kill some time- as I get v low once I get home and just end up crying like an idiot in my room. I dare not to mention my ex to another friend- I am sure they will run from me- I could hardly blame them! My problem is I can't cope with evenings and the mornings -the ex is on my mind- its v hard- good, bad and ugly memories float around me. I am trying- I keep busy- man I do a lot, but at the end I just fall apart in pieces. Since the ex left Singapore- I am struggling to sleep as well- all the things they did these past two weeks keeps me awake in horror and in sadness. SIgh.. look forward to the day I never think of him- I am starting to wonder if that will be possible? I feel like I will be haunted with this for the rest of my life.

[kctiger]

Hi all, i am much better now- thanks. I did some celebrations today- had 4 cocktails and i am pretty much legless...
however i though i should be the happiest person right now, i feel crap and depressed... i am like a yo you- during the day i am fine, - actually did some meaniful work today- which is good as i dont think i have done this since Sept! So i have realised OK i can handle work days and lunches and early evenings much better. I now walk part of the way home after the gym- just to kill some time- as i get v low in the evenings once i get home and just end up crying like an idiot. Evenings and mornings i can't do at all- the ex is on my mind- its v hard- good, bad and ugly memories float around me. Since the ex left Singapore- i am struggling to sleep as well- all the thing she did these past two weeks keep me awake in horror. SIgh.. look forward to the day i never think of him, i wonder if that will be possible?

It is possible, and totally probable. It takes time!! Mornings and nights are always the hardest, as we feel most alone during that time. Enjoy another cocktail for me, and for God's sake, just take it slow and enjoy this time in your life. It WILL get better, but it takes A LOT of time. Keep it up!! I am proud of you.

[zeeniee]

Yeah I know it will take time, just frigging peeved, a year ago I was happy in everyway- took a lot of hard work to get it altogether and then poof- it all goes- well the ex goes and then I see everything falling apart- guess I am trying to build it all back up- which I have in many ways- I just feel pain or I feel empty with a few giggles and laughs here and there- its so damm frustating as I normally chat and laugh non-stop- I guess I just hate the situation I am in right now.
Anyway I am glad I stopped at 4 cocktails- another one- I think I would end up in A&E- I don't need much alcohol to get drunk...

[starbuck8]

Hi all, i am much better now- thanks. I did some celebrations today- had 4 cocktails and i am pretty much legless...
I am v troubled these few days- i know i should be the happiest person right now but i feel v sad and down... i am like a yo-yo and i am fed-up with ME- during the day i am fine. today for example, i actually did some meaningful constructive work that actually made sense to another person at work- which is good as i dont think i have done that since Sept! So i have realised OK i can handle work and work days and lunches and early evenings much better (normally at the gym). I now walk part of the way home after the gym- just to kill some time- as i get v low once i get home and just end up crying like an idiot in my room. I dare not to mention my ex to another friend- i am sure they will run from me- i could hardly blame them! My problem is i can't cope with evenings and the mornings -the ex is on my mind- its v hard- good, bad and ugly memories float around me. I am trying- i keep busy- man i do alot, but at the end i just fall apart in pieces. Since the ex left Singapore- i am struggling to sleep as well- all the things they did these past two weeks keeps me awake in horror and in sadness. SIgh.. look forward to the day i never think of him- i am starting to wonder if that will be possible? I feel like i will be haunted with this for the rest of my life.

Of course you're going to go through what you are now. It sucks, but you need to go through it. I would be worried if you weren't! You invested a lot of time into your relationship with him, and he turned around and made a mockery out of it without considering how he made you feel. You had nine years into your relationship! You went through many things together. Now everything has changed, and you have to learn how to be independent again. It's only been about 3 months since this has all happened. You really need to cut yourself a break! You're trying to hurry the healing, and although I don't blame you for wanting to do that, you can't. You are only prolonging it if you don't let yourself go through it. You need to give yourself time to grieve it, or you won't be able to move onto other things. You don't want to carry this over into another relationship do you? Don't worry about bothering your friends, you need them! If they are friends they will understand. You don't have to put up a front for everyone else. Take care of yourself first.

[zeeniee]

Hey Starbucks- guess I should take my time a little :-), I am not the most patient person at times, especially when I am so so peeved like I have been these days- its so werid- the first 3 months I cried and cried, and now I am so anger and okay I still cry.

Don't worry, no way will I carry this to the next relationship- I already know I wont- I can feel it. I am okay with doing everything- I am lucky to be independant- its just that I miss sharing things and doing this together- I always find its much more nicer to share things than to have it all for yourself - if you know what I mean... and so I that respect life sucks a bit.

And yeah feel a bit embarrassed but I do miss being with a person... that has to be the biggest change...

[ImTotallyLost]

Don't worry about bothering your friends, you need them! If they are friends they will understand.

In the beginning of my break up I used to annoy my friends all the time about what I was going through and they were really helpful. But after a while I noticed I was only repeating myself and it didn't allow me to have fun with these same friends... fun that helps me moving on! So now I try to deal with this crap alone (except for the occasional "how are you doing" conversation with my brother)... part of learning how to live with myself again, I guess.

So yeah, you must bother your friends in the beginning to get this whole mess out of your system but I think it's a bad idea to overdo and I think we know when that is the case...

Sometimes it feels like once I finally move on, I'll miss these break-up feelings in the same way I miss her now.

[zeeniee]

Hey Imtotallylost,
I know what you mean- my friends always ask me how I am and how things etc- it does feel like the same thing being said in many different ways- at least now I talk about other stuff as well and use this site as much as I can.

I think I am moving on- but I can explain itin words yet. I do hope that one day I don't feel like I do today.

I hope you too find a beautiful way to move forward and you don't miss the break up feelings and one day meet a nicer person that will cherish you well.

For me I don't miss the ex- like I used to- probably as I saw another side to him that I never did. I will take that as a blessing in a way and hope this helps me to move forward without looking back. Nevertheless it does take a lot of time and space to digest everything- which is where I am at- I think.

[tearingapart]

Wow. You poor poor lady :(

The cruelty and thoughtlessness of these sorts of people is just beyond me.

Thank you for your answer.

It really really helps.

I'm just trying to move on now.

Like, I'm not going to try to understand why. Because ill never understand what goes on in their messed up minds. But I just want to move on, and be happy.

I really hope you find happiness with a real man.

You sound like a beautiful person, you'll find someone who is really worthy of your love.

All the best

Xxx

[zeeniee]

Hey Tearingapart,many thanks for your kind words- sure I will be on my feet one day and I will update this post as I go along. I am sorry to hear your news as well- you seems like a good ans strong person and I hope you too- get back on your feet soon
Xx

[starbuck8]

In the beginning of my break up I used to annoy my friends all the time about what I was going through and they were really helpful. But after a while I noticed I was only repeating myself and it didn't allow me to have fun with these same friends... fun that helps me moving on! So now I try to deal with this crap alone (except for the occasional "how are you doing" conversation with my brother)... part of learning how to live with myself again, I guess.

So yeah, you must bother your friends in the beginning to get this whole mess out of your system but I think it's a bad idea to overdo and I think we know when that is the case...

Sometimes it feels like once I finally move on, I'll miss these break-up feelings in the same way I miss her now.

I agree that you don't want to overwhelm your friends with the same old stories. However, real friends will hear you out and try and push you forward, although still be there for the occasional break down. You don't want to force your problems down their throats 24/7 of course, but you need to know that there is someone there that you can count on. These people are called REAL friends.

[zeeniee]

Hey Starbucks- your so right! You def know your true friends at the time of need- one thing I have learnt is that I have many. I was actually very overwhelmed when I removed- i am not in a relationship in Facebook, within 30mins, I got calls from OZ, UK and Canada. I had no idea the impact that was to have. My friends have been super duper with me. They really came to me- when I totally fell apart and were there really helping me- in many many ways. I have friends from all ages- 20 something to 50 something and so all the advice they gave me were great. One of my friend's son- he is 7 years old and he knew I was v upset about something- so he offered me his trainers in cheering me up!! (we have the same shoe size! )- sweet guy! I am honoured to know my friends- some of them have problems as well- like on of my best friend in OZ, her dad is sadly dying of liver failure- and she rings, text and emails me daily to ask for me- I am very deeply touched in my heart! Another thing- all you guys are my mates as well- you have given me sounds advice and have helped me so many times and picked me up when I fell down- if it was not for you guys and my friends and family- gosh I hate to think what state I would be in today!
Thanking you all as always xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[kctiger]

:)

Hey Starbucks- your so right! You def know your true friends at the time of need- one thing i have learnt is that i have many. I was actually very overwhelmed when i removed- i am not in a relationship in facebook, within 30mins, i got calls from OZ, UK and Canada. I had no idea the impact that was to have. My friends have been super duper with me. They really came to me- when i totally fell apart and were there really helping me- in many many ways. I have friends from all ages- 20 something to 50 something and so all the advice they gave me were great. One of my friend's son- he is 7 years old and he knew i was v upset about something- so he offered me his trainers in cheering me up!!! (we have the same shoe size!!)- sweet guy!! I am honoured to know my friends- some of them have problems as well- like on of my best friend in OZ, her dad is sadly dying of liver failure- and she rings, text and emails me daily to ask for me- i am very deeply touched in my heart! Another thing- all you guys are my mates as well- you have given me sounds advice and have helped me so many times and picked me up when i fell down- if it was not for you guys and my friends and family- gosh i hate to think what state i would be in today!
Thanking you all as always xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So true!! I quickly came to realize after my breakup that I have the GREATEST friends in the world, bar none!! I don't think I was ever really grateful or truly saw that, until this happened to me. Along with that, as you stated, this website is full of incredible, non-judgemental people who have some huge hearts and caring words. That is why it is so awesome to reciprocate the help you get to others that come on here in so much pain and with so much confusion...

I hope you are doing better. You sound like a very well put together woman, and anyone with that many friends must be a phenomenal person.

[zeeniee]

Trying to improve my day.

Ok I guess it is high time I improve my day and make it a productive day like it used to be. At the moment I am okay from lunch onwards- to about 8pm. During this time, I can forget my worries or at least put them aside and get on with whatever the day brings. My problem are the mornings and the evenings (if I am not going out) – esp. the mornings- everything morning when I wake up- this whole mess comes flooding back and so comes the ugly truth with a bang in my face.
I know this will take time etc-but I just can't stand waking up to lousy depressing mornings anymore. It really makes it hard for me to start the day in a positive way.

So I have decided on a few things I must do in the mornings:

1.Leave the apartment within 40min of getting up
2.Allow a max of one cig only (allowed only in the balcony area)
3.Must catch the MRT to work, rather than a taxi. I am hoping that my incentive will be that the more MRT I catch=less taxis spends= more savings= more things to buy or more weekend trips out of Singapore
4.Banning myself from checking face book and hot mails till after lunch

I have decided to take next week off work- I think I could do with a break just switching off in Singapore- I have not had a day off since Sept and as it is Chinese New Year next week, taking 3 days off= 9 days of work site. I am hoping the break will allow me to sort out more bits and bats and so when I return back to work- I will be more recharged and focus –somewhat.

Also I am aware that next week is the wedding week… that has been on my mind a lot…I realized today- is the day our families should be landing in Singapore- this has bothered me a lot today... sucks

[Dare81]

Trying to improve my day.

Ok I guess it is high time I improve my day and make it a productive day like it used to be. At the moment I am okay from lunch onwards- to about 8pm. During this time, I can forget my worries or at least put them aside and get on with whatever the day brings. My problem are the mornings and the evenings (if I am not going out) – esp. the mornings- everything morning when I wake up- this whole mess comes flooding back and so comes the ugly truth with a bang in my face.
I know this will take time etc-but I just can’t stand waking up to lousy depressing mornings anymore. It really makes it hard for me to start the day in a positive way.

So I have decided on a few things I must do in the mornings:

1.Leave the apartment within 40min of getting up
2.Allow a max of one cig only (allowed only in the balcony area)
3.Must catch the MRT to work, rather than a taxi. I am hoping that my incentive will be that the more MRT I catch=less taxis spends= more savings= more things to buy or more weekend trips out of Singapore
4.Banning myself from checking face book and hot mails till after lunch

I have decided to take next week off work- I think I could do with a break just switching off in Singapore- I have not had a day off since Sept and as it is Chinese New Year next week, taking 3 days off= 9 days of work site. I am hoping the break will allow me to sort out more bits and bats and so when I return back to work- I will be more recharged and focus –somewhat.

Also I am aware that next week is the wedding week… that has been on my mind a lot…I realized today- is the day our families should be landing in Singapore- this has bothered me alot today....sucks

Do you really want to take time off. The more time you have on your hand to just sit around and think the worse it will be. I tried to keep myself as busy as possible

[zeeniee]

Hi Dare,
I have debated on this one for a while.
Yeah I do need to take time out- I was hoping you use my time next week and make some real changes with some routinee stuff I do. I think it is a good time as in March I have a very heavy load of work coming and so if I don't get a grip of things now- I am going to struggle.

The other thing is the sun has been shining a lot in the mornings in Singapore- I guess the rainy season has past- and so I am hoping to get out early morning for a swim and sunbathing- I just need to break my routine.

I have come to a point that no matter what I do, or how busy I am - when my head hits that pillow- everything comes flooding back to me- it always does and so I expect I will feel crap no matter what I do at this point in time. IN that respect I think I should use my time as well as I can, despite the difficult situation I am in right now.

[zeeniee]

I think next week- I am thinking of having some ME time, gym,swimming, sunbathing.

Then I need to sort out a few things- that I basically hate doing- might as well get them done and out the way.

I really need to get a camera- and so I thought of getting it.

Then I would just like to chill and see friends etc and generally have a break