[Dare81]

My birthday is coming up , I hope that my ex does not call me and if she does I hope I don't pick up

[hungtoronto]

Just an update,


Yesterday, someone called me with a block ID. I picked up but that person hang up. I got a feeling it was my ex. Funny thing is today my ex text me about her mail after 5 months NC. She said she want to come over to pick them up next week.

She changed her number but I don't think it was because of me. Anyway with this text I got her phone number again.

Even though I wanted to contact her for the past month but somehow when I got her number I am afraid to call her. She caused me so much pain. I know where she worked for a few months now but I didn't bother going there and break NC. My friend confirmed it.

My friend live around the corner from where she works. I'll ask my friend to bring her the mails so that I don't have to see her.


I had this letter in my head for a while now but never go through with it. I think it's manipulation what do you guys think. I probably regret it later on. Here goes.


Dear ex,


We haven't talk for a while. I need time to heal from the breakup and I am OK now.

Attached is a check for 2K. This is for some of the rent you paid me ( by the way, I paid for everything, she paid 300 a month for rent to me). I thought I would save this money for a rainy day but since we are not together anymore I want you to have it. Since you don't have family here you'll need the money more than I do.

We also plan a trip to xxx which I promised to paid for the ticket (cost 2k). I think you should keep the money. You should go back home to see your mom, although I know she made a lot of mistake in the past and hurt you I know deep down she love you a lot.

Take care of yourself

[NorthernNiceGuy]

Dear ex,


We haven't talk for a while. I need time to heal from the breakup and I am ok now.

Attached is a check for 2K. This is for some of the rent you paid me ( btw, I paid for everything, she paid 300 a month for rent to me). I thought I would save this money for a rainy day but since we are not together anymore I want you to have it. Since you don't have family here you'll need the money more than I do.

We also plan a trip to xxx which I promised to paid for the ticket (cost 2k). I think you should keep the money. You should go back home to see your mom, although I know she made a lot of mistake in the past and hurt you I know deep down she love you a lot.

Take care of yourself

Well I will tell you what popped into my head instantly after reading that. GUILT TRIP! If someone sent me that I would immediately think they were trying to make me feel bad or guilty, and that I some how owed them something. What are you doing giving her 2k!! Fine give her the money for the rent (has she actually asked for it) but not for a trip you guys were supposed to take together where you were going to take care of the bill... how is she entitled to the money for a trip you were going to pay for that you never took. That's your money so enjoy it. It sucks that she doesn't have family around but that's her problem now, not yours. It's almost like the 2k is your silly way of getting a reaction out of her, something along the lines of "aw your so sweet, thank you so much, what was I thinking when I left you". Keep that money and don't send a letter!

Good call on getting your friend to give her the mail. Don't call her and definitely never go to her work... that just says desperate. You are doing great so just keep pushing forward!!

[Dare81]

Just an update,


Yesterday, someone called me with a block ID. I picked up but that person hang up. I got a feeling it was my ex. Funny thing is today my ex txt me about her mail after 5 months NC. She said she want to come over to pick them up next week.

she changed her number but I don't think it was because of me. Anyway with this txt I got her phone number again.

Even though I wanted to contact her for the past month but somehow when I got her number I am afraid to call her. She caused me so much pain. I know where she worked for a few months now but I didn't bother going there and break NC. My friend confirmed it.

My friend live around the corner from where she works. I'll ask my friend to bring her the mails so that I don't have to see her.


I had this letter in my head for a while now but never go through with it. I think it's manipulation what do you guys think. I probably regret it later on. Here goes.


Dear ex,


We haven't talk for a while. I need time to heal from the breakup and I am ok now.

Attached is a check for 2K. This is for some of the rent you paid me ( btw, I paid for everything, she paid 300 a month for rent to me). I thought I would save this money for a rainy day but since we are not together anymore I want you to have it. Since you don't have family here you'll need the money more than I do.

We also plan a trip to xxx which I promised to paid for the ticket (cost 2k). I think you should keep the money. You should go back home to see your mom, although I know she made a lot of mistake in the past and hurt you I know deep down she love you a lot.

Take care of yourself

I agree with NNG here, if you really want to give away the money RED Cross or any other organization like that would be a great idea. I don't think you are really over your ex. We might think we are over them but we are really not. Keep your money spend it on ureself, there is no need for you to give her the rent money ( especially if she didn't ask fir it). Ask your friend to give hand over her things.
In my opinion this letter is not necessary

[hungtoronto]

I don't know guys, even though she dumped me I felt that I did something wrong. I felt like it was my fault. I made her cry a lot and hurt her a lot but a lot of these were really out of my control. It takes two to tango and she didn't do her part.

That's why I feel I should give her the money. $2000 is nothing for me. All the time we spent together there were good time too. Giving her this money will help me with the guilt. How about give her the money but cut all the drama out of it?


BTW, I am going out on a date this weekend. Time to meet some ladies and forget about the ex.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

Well fair enough and good that you are honest about your shortfalls in this break-up

But how often do you hear of someone giving their ex 2000 bucks because they feel guilty. It will come off as desperate and weird. If you really feel guilty about everything then just write a kind letter apologizing and wishing her well. I don't see how giving her money will let her know how you feel about it better.

I don't condone breaking NC but if you are going to do anything than just send a letter.

Dare and I are just saying this for no reason. Keep that money to yourself!

[Dare81]

I don't know guys, even though she dumped me I felt that I did something wrong. I felt like it was my fault. I made her cry a lot and hurt her alot but alot of these were really out of my control. It takes two to tango and she didn't do her part.

That's why I feel I should give her the money. $2000 is nothing for me. All the time we spent together there were good time too. Giving her this money will help me with the guilt. How about give her the money but cut all the drama out of it?


BTW, I am going out on a date this weekend. Time to meet some ladies and forget about the ex.

There are a lot of things that we wish we could go back and do over again.Fact of the matter is its over with.You can't buy your way out of guilt. Just make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes again with the next one.

Good Luck on your date.

[hungtoronto]

well fair enough and good that you are honest about your shortfalls in this break-up

But how often do you hear of someone giving their ex 2000 bucks because they feel guilty. It will come off as desperate and weird. If you really feel guilty about everything then just write a kind letter apologizing and wishing her well. I don't see how giving her money will let her know how you feel about it better.

I don't condone breaking NC but if you are going to do anything than just send a letter.

Dare and I are just saying this for no reason. Keep that money to yourself!!

Thanks Dare81 and NNG. I really needed that kick in the a**. I know it's wrong to write a letter right away but it has been six months. I am not totally over her but it's not like I miss her every minute. I still think about her maybe 1 hour a day. I come to accept how things are currently and I feel comfortable being single.

BTW, I haven't reply to her txt yet. Do you guy think it's wise to write a letter and apologize? It's not all my fault. I feel that If I write this letter I will look desperate in her eyes. Argggggggg, We never had a last conversation before we parted. We were both really upset when we parted.

[plonak]

Hey guys!

So my ex and I have been broken up for about 6 months and he is still bothering me!!

And stupid me, I answer to his emails and calls.

He sent me an email last night telling me that he thinks what we had was fate and that we were meant to be together and he wants me back and blah blah..

I feel so crappy!! I can't tell you guys how many times we've gone over this since we broke up.. I want to start no contact but I feel so weak sometimes and I feel so bad for him..

What do I do guys?

[hungtoronto]

Hey guys!!

So my ex and I have been broken up for about 6 months and he is still bothering me!!!

And stupid me, I answer to his emails and calls.

He sent me an email last night telling me that he thinks what we had was fate and that we were meant to be together and he wants me back and blah blah..

I feel so crappy!!! I can't tell you guys how many times we've gone over this since we broke up..I want to start no contact but I feel so weak sometimes and I feel so bad for him..

What do I do guys?

If you keep answering to his emails and calls then it's hard to let go. Fortunately? My ex never contacted me so it is easier for me to heal. The best way is to block his emails and calls. What you don't know won't hurt you.

[plonak]

Yea I know.. I've known all that..

It's just so hard! Breakups suck!! I still love him, but I know I can't be with him! It's going to hurt him so bad when I tell him to stop contacting me.

Blah

[hungtoronto]

Plonak,

Doing NC I realized a few things:

I can live without my ex.
My ex is not perfect neither although she blamed me for everything.
There are lots of girls out there. Who would be right for me.
I almost forgot my ex in just 6 months. If I remain in contact it would take a lot longer.
NC is not easy. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.
All relationships didn't workout for a reason and you will see those reasons clearly when you are healed. Even if they were your fault you'll be OK with it.

[Dare81]

Thanks Dare81 and NNG. I really needed that kick in the a**. I know it's wrong to write a letter right away but it has been six months. I am not totally over her but it's not like I miss her every minute. I still think about her maybe 1 hour a day. I come to accept how things are currently and I feel comfortable being single.

BTW, I haven't reply to her txt yet. Do you guy think it's wise to write a letter and apologize? It's not all my fault. I feel that If I write this letter I will look desperate in her eyes. Argggggggg, We never had a last conversation before we parted. We were both really upset when we parted.

I think you should maybe wait another 6 months or something before you write a letter.You need to take emotions out of the equation to see who's faulty it really was and you can't do that right now

[NorthernNiceGuy]

I think you should maybe wait another 6 months or something before you write a letter.You need to take emotions out of the equation to see who's faulty it really was and you can't do that right now

And chances are by then you won't even care to. Its funny how time heals you. Thinking about how hurtin' I was in the first few months of my breakup makes me smile.

[hungtoronto]

And chances are by then you won't even care to. Its funny how time heals you. Thinking about how hurtin' I was in the first few months of my breakup makes me smile.

It will all depend on how my date goes this weekend j/k. Should I txt my ex regarding her mail today or next week? I got to look busy.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

Haha, well just enjoy the date and don't take it too seriously. No pressure. I say just give the mail to you friend and let him give it to her. No need to text, and definitely no need to text before a date. If she responds with whatever who knows how it will affect you for your big night out.

[hungtoronto]

No need to text, and definitely no need to text before a date. If she responds with whatever who knows how it will affect you for your big night out.

NNG you read me so well. It's funny how we all think the same thing. I won't txt her back then but if I don't she'll call me or txt me again. But you are right. No txt is better.

[ISneezeFunny]

Hmm... I have not told my story on the NC calendar for a while, mainly because it's been over a year since my ex and I broke up.

Recent update...

I keep getting texts from my ex... it's been a regular thing for a while, but I just ignore it. This past week, I got a barrage of texts from her... one of them that stated she saw my best friend at a restaurant, etc. Great. Could care less. Never texted her back.

I just got one from her today... that said that my professor, mentor, and possibly best friend on the staff just passed away last night. Super duper great. I had to call her.

So, after a year and one month of me ignoring her, I called her. I wanted to find out more details about my professor. She had no details, and wanted to catch up... so I deflected and told her I was busy, and I had to work.

... if this girl is using a death of a man to get back in touch with me, she's got problems.

[Dare81]

hmm...i have not told my story on the NC calendar for a while, mainly because it's been over a year since my ex and I broke up.

Recent update...

I keep getting texts from my ex...it's been a regular thing for a while, but I just ignore it. This past week, I got a barrage of texts from her...one of them that stated she saw my best friend at a restaurant, etc. Great. Could care less. Never texted her back.

I just got one from her today...that said that my professor, mentor, and possibly best friend on the staff just passed away last night. Super duper great. I had to call her.

So, after a year and one month of me ignoring her, I called her. I wanted to find out more details about my professor. She had no details, and wanted to catch up...so I deflected and told her I was busy, and I had to work.

...if this girl is using a death of a man to get back in touch with me, she's got problems.

If I am not wrong was she not dating someone else or did they break up?

[ISneezeFunny]

She dated someone within a few days of us breaking up, and then they officially broke up within 6 months, but they are still "spending time together"... whatever that may mean.