[cookie06]

Hi all I found myself in a really difficult situation and have no one to talk about it. We have been together for 7 years and married 3 years. About a month ago I fall in love with this boy at work( his 20 and I'm 25) and we texted all this time. Didn't do anything else apart from texting each other. Three days ago my husband had my phone with all the texts and has seen them all. Since he took my phone and restricted all my possibilities of getting in touch with him. I don't know if I still love my husband but thinking that would not be with him in the future it horrifies me. I appologised and aasked him if he could forgive me and he does not answer me and does not want to talk to me. He is sleeping on the couch and he is never at home when I am day time.
Could you please give me some advice on what to do next. Do you think my marriage could work again? Should we even try to mak eit work or me more likely as I am the black sheep. Feel really bad about it it is so not like me but couldn't help it.

[stevetcg]

He feels like you cheated on him... and in essence you did. Emotional cheating is just as bad if not worse than physical.

I don't *personally* believe it can work, but he might be a stronger person than I.

And please... "I couldnt help it"? Yes you could. Please don't try to feel like a victim.

[Fr_Chuck]

Let me see you were cheating on him, emotionally and he can never be sure how else. The fact he did notthrow you out the door is a good sign, All the men I know would have.

So you needed to, without being asked broke off all contact with this home wecking kid

[Jake2008]

You are not in love with 'the boy' at work. Infatuation, intrigue, excitement, positive attention, flirting, anticipation etc. is not exactly developing a relationship and falling in love. Texting a playmate is more like it I think.

Do you have any contact with the boy at work? Do you have lunch or breaks together? Are there others at work that know about this infatuation you have?

I would be extremely upset at your lack of judgment and respect for your marriage and husband, if I were him. Surely you realize that that behaviour is beyond the boundaries of a married woman who loves her husband.

That you hid the text relationship, does not mean that, in his eyes, you are not capable of other behaviours with other men. If not now, in the future.

You didn't say one key thing. You didn't say that you have totally and completely cut off ties with the boy, and your goal was to reestablish trust with your husband and put this all behind you.

Perhaps you have not made up your mind which of the two relationships you wish to maintain?

[marie5555]

I must agree with JAKE2008, its just the fact that you have all this NEW attention on you after being with the same person for 7 years. It is kind of hard to say if it'll work because every person is different, I am sure he is not giving you an answer because he is really thinking things through. But you must be prepared for what he decides because emotional cheating is probably the toughest especially because the texting went on probably for quite some time. I am sure he feel betrayed... Now you got to also think does the fact that you guys might not be together scares you because you have gotten used to being with him? Or is it because you do love him? Regardless you broke his trust and you need to start acting like you made a mistake or start accepting that it is over... Thats just my opinion, I can only answer this as if it was done to me... Good luck though

[talaniman]

You have to pay the consequences for your actions, and are responsible for the grief you caused. You better just wait until the emotional dust settles, and do whatever it takes to make amends for the mistakes you've made. Like getting rid of the boy at work, that's a start.

What did you expect to happen? Or maybe you didn't know what you were doing.