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Green Elephant · Jan 8, 2009, 08:13 PM

I enjoy smoking, and I only smoke about 3 cigarettes a day. My girlfriend and I have a very healthy relationship, but she tells me that she won't marry me if I don't quit smoking.

I'm wondering if me quitting smoking is a healthy decision, because I've never made changes for others. I feel like me smoking as little as I do isn't that big of an issue, and I don't ever smoke around her.

So I'm stuck wondering if I should quit for her, or feel like a bad person for feeling manipulated a bit into quitting.

411Help · Jan 8, 2009, 08:15 PM

I don't see it as manipulation as much as I see it at as her personal preference. Did you start before or after you two met?

NItEMArE129 · Jan 8, 2009, 08:24 PM

She's not manipulating you. She's telling you, specifically, that she just doesn't want to marry you if you don't quit. Would you say it was manipulation if she said she wouldn't marry you if you didn't stop killing people? That's not manipulation... it's her expressing her wishes.

kianatejones · Jan 8, 2009, 08:28 PM

Smoking is not only killing you softly but her as well so if you really love her you would try and if she loved you she would help you and understand your situation. It should not be a one ended conversation- it should be an open conversation between two lovers.

ISneezeFunny · Jan 8, 2009, 08:32 PM

Is it manipulation? no. She gave you a choice. You quit, you marry her. You don't, then you don't.

Smoking is bad for you. You know it, your friends know it, and the world knows this.

Recent studies show that 2 - 3 cigarettes a day isn't as harmful as people once thought, but granted, it is still bad. I tried looking for the medical journal, but couldn't find it.

The thing about smoking a couple a day is that eventually, you will find yourself smoking more and more.

If you want to quit, quit for yourself, your health, and possibly the future with your girlfriend.

ThatGuy2 · Jan 8, 2009, 08:46 PM

I guess it comes down to whether you love cigarettes more or love your girlfriend more. Is this really that hard of a choice? Think of all the money you'll save.^^

Starbucks21 · Jan 8, 2009, 08:53 PM

Originally Posted by Green Elephant

I enjoy smoking, and i only smoke about 3 cigarettes a day. My girlfriend and I have a very healthy relationship, but she tells me that she won't marry me if I don't quit smoking.

I'm wondering if me quitting smoking is a healthy decision, because I've never made changes for others. I feel like me smoking as little as I do isn't that big of an issue, and I don't ever smoke around her.

So I'm stuck wondering if I should quit for her, or feel like a bad person for feeling manipulated a bit into quitting.

Um... well I think it's she's more worried about your health...

Smoking isn't healthy... there is tons of medical research against it.

Quitting is your decision. But it is a healthy one.

ylaira · Jan 8, 2009, 08:54 PM

I think she doesn't mean that she'll not marry you just because of the vice. I believe she only said that to motivate you quit smoking. But surprisingly you are considering to let her go just to stay smoking so don't consider marriage yet.

Pardon my words but personally I'm disgusted to kiss a smoker so I don't date one. Imagine if you quit that, you'll save money, you'll maintain good heatlh, your girlfriend will be happy.

Whats' with smoking anyway?

talaniman · Jan 9, 2009, 12:55 AM

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3 lousy cigarettes a day are the least of your problems. After two years she wants you to quit smoking? Maybe you should quit, and be healthy for it, but not for her. That's something you do for you. As are your other issues as well, do them for you not her.

rhiannahunt · Jan 9, 2009, 01:13 AM

Well I agree with smoking is not healthy... if you smoke only three ciggarettes a day then I think that it shouldn't be that hard to quit. When I read this I sort of lauged. About a year ago I told my boyfriend he had to quit. He only smoked two ciggaretes a day. He quit and he had no problem with it, he also says that he feels a lot healthier. Do it, he's not just glad he quit for me, he did it for himself too. Hes proud and so am I. Good luck... :)

Green Elephant · Jan 9, 2009, 06:50 PM

I smoked quite a bit before we started dating. I think I just have an overreaction to people trying to change things I do, and I probably should look at the fact that she loves me and wants what's best for my health.

rjsippel · May 8, 2012, 01:50 PM

I looked up a reaction I seem to be having to mosquito bites on my ankles. I found your questions about very similar reaction here online. Just wondering what ever became of your mosquito bites and pain at the ER when you went? Thank you.

mmresd · May 8, 2012, 02:47 PM

You should definitely quit, and it is the absolutely best health decision you can make. However, you need to do it for yourself, not because she won't marry you because of it. It is probably her way of telling you that she cares for you, but hey, once you make up your mind, at least you know you will have the support that you need. I don't know about you, but for me it is very hard to quit, something I would love to do.