[MsCe]

Hi, I'm a 21 year old college student. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He lives in the Bronx and I live in Rockland County.. (we are only 45 min away from each other) Now 45 min isn't too far but I rarely see him. Maybe once or twice a month. Since the beginning of the relationship all we ever did was argue. He is the most stubborn person that I have ever met. But all in all he is a wonderful man. Who I know loves me deep down. Now he's 28 and he has a son. The baby mother and him have been separated for 7 years now. She's made him go through hell and back. And now he has an issue trusting female. I've done things to him in the past that would make him question my trust. ( I went behind his back and called his uncle during a argument we were having. I asked the uncle not to say anything but blood is thicker than water and of course he went and told my boyfriend I called him). Anyway when me and him talk he always makes reference to me and him in the future. But lately me and him have just been arguing. When I asked him a couple weeks ago where he see's himself in five years he said working with his CDL license and making a $1000 a week. ( never once did he mention me, which hurt).. when he inturn asked me I told him.. I see myself done with school, happy, and hopefully engaged to him.. all he said was awwwww... and nothing else. I quickly went on the defensive and asked him whether he see's me in his future... he told me BRB (be right back).. and 3 hours later when he came back he didn't even bring up the subject... Things just continue to go down hill from then. I must admit he calls me a nagger.. and maybe I am a little bit. Men don't like confrontation and when we do argue I like to get right to the point and settle the problem, But with him he doesn't want to discuss it right away. We had a real big argument and some things were said. He asked for a break ( which is something he always does whenever he feels like I'm just annoying him). I told him he can have all the break he wants have a nice life and don't think for once I would call him. He then told me fine we're officially over. Now when I told him to have a nice life I didn't mean it... I was upset, heated and words came out. Its been 4 days since we last spoken and I'm not sure if I believe its over or not because when we go through this we just just stop speaking for a couple days and then we talk again. Should I wait a couple days, or weeks before I really know? All my friends are telling maybe he's cheating and I tell him there's just no way. I Mean this man gets up for work at 3 in the morning comes back at 4 in the afternoon.. on weekends he has his son.. he has no time to cheat. I just want to know what I should do. I want to able to understand where he's coming from but I feel like he doesn't want to take the time to understand where I'm coming from. A relationship should be 50/50 but its like I'm working twice as hard in this relationship. I know his son is his top priority but what about me... where do I fit.. and I feel like I can't ask him that because coming into the relationship I knew that it was going to be hard because of his son.

I also come from a religious background and old fashion family, my parents want to met my boyfriend, just see who I'm dating, and what his intentions are. But my boyfriend tells me he's not ready. (Mind you I've met his mom, and his son.. His mother loves me.. )Anyhow I tell him its not that serious my parents just want to meet you.. Its not like we are getting married. I mean for god sakes he's 28 he should be married by now. Am I wasting my time with this man who is not untouched with his feelings. We have been through sooo much together. I know that he loves me, but could it just be that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. Because ever time I ask him he tells me Karen if I didn't want to be with you... I would just tell you. Is it time to just let go?? What should I do..

[Starbucks21]

It does sound like he comes with a lot of emotional baggage... and you feel like you're putting more in then you're getting in return

If you feel like you can't communicate with him... And that you put more in then he does that will build resentment

It sounds like the relationship is hard on you but if you really want to put in the work that's your decision...

Does he make you happy?

If you do marry this man are you ready to be a step mom?

If things stayed the same could you deal with them?

And keeping in mind your parents only want the best for you... What do you think they'd think of him?

Really these are the questions you have to ask yourself...

If you answer yes then you should be with him...

If you answer no then these thing probably won't change and yea you need to move on.

[RogerNapalm]

You're 21 years old. You've got a lot of living left to do. Sounds like you really love him, but there are a lot of obsticles for you to overcome to be with him.

It is my opinion that you should should move on. You've got so much more to experience for yourself. You'll find someone without all the baggage and you'll see there is more out there for you. It will be tough, but it's part of life. I know, I'm going through a tough time right now with my GF. You'll be okay