[nrlf2005]

When my boyfriend and I first got together we hit it off and then it got bad so I left him, mind you we were only together for 3 mo. Well in the process of that I got pregnant. Not long after we split I got into a relationship with a long time friend and that relationship lasted 2 yrs. While with him me and my ex and his mother fought constantly. We fought over visitation over the him never paying his child support everything. I went through children services coming to my house and bringing up bogus charges which all got proven false. Him and his mother both denying that it was them, and I couldn't prove other wise. Well me and my ex finally had time to be alone and we talked and realized that we wanted to be together. So we got back together and I moved up with him and his mother(his house is being renovated). Well we've been back together for over a year, and I've slowly been seeing signs of them being shady. He will go to school, he went back to college, and shut all the lights out and the doors so nothing wakes me up. If I set an alarm to get up it gets shut off while I'm sleeping. His mother litteraly pushes me out of the way to be the mother figure in my daughters life. And I'm constantly finding the two of them whispering when I'm not around, and as soon as I walk in they shut up or change the subject. I talked to a friend of his the other day and they said that when we first got back together, that he told everyone that it was just so he could get his daughter back. His mother calls members of my family and down talks me like I'm trash and I'm lazy and doesn't do anything. I know his mom is out to try and get me I know it I've heard and seen too much info to deny that. But I don't know if I should trust him. He says its all in my head but I don't see how. My question is what should I do. Should I stay and try to work it out and risk them taking my daughter away. Or should I just pack my stuff and leave before they actually do take her from me.

[Jake2008]

That is a nasty situation for the child. Three adults unable to trust each other, all living under the same roof.

Others may have more practical advice for you, but, if it were me in that situation, I would leave, and re-establish visitation with the father, and attempt to be civil with him, because it is the best thing for the child.

It might be good to stop and think about who's needs are being met by the current situation. Yours? Your child's? Your mother-in-law? Your baby's father?

Because you are the primary caregiver, and you are miserable where you are, it is likely not a healthy situation for your child. Would you be better off with them, or without them.

What do you want for your future. Can you support yourself, and your daughter? Do you have any family that can assist you until you get settled again? Have you thought about how you are going to cope on your own, knowing that those you are now with will be as demanding as they were before.

Whether you stay or go, the child's father will be in the picture, and with his mother in the mix, you need to establish some boundaries, and stick to them. You might want to consider family counselling to help find a way that you can all live together respectfully, if you decide to stay, and/or counselling to get along after you leave.

I hope you think long and hard about what kind of life you want to provide to your child, and make some permanent decisions in order to provide stability in her life.

You have a lot on your plate, and I wish you luck, patience, and success.

[nrlf2005]

Thank you that has been what my family has been saying all along but I guess I just needed to hear it form someone not in the situation.

[nrlf2005]

The worst part of the whole thing is I do love him and would love for us to be together. But with everything that has happened and not knowing what to expect if I leave I don't know what would happen.