[goodfella21]

Hello everyone

I'm going to be 21 tomorrow and I'm still shy. I have always been the quiet. I hate my voice, I always have to repeat myself because people can't hear me and when I do sound loud, I hate the way I sound. I don't know what this is called. Whenever I'm on the bus or trying to conceive, I am constantly fearing that some is watching me because of my face and always clearing my throat and licking my lips ( I don't know why). I always had this pissed off/sad loook since the age of 12. I had a "nervous breakdown " this summer, where I broke down and cried like I never cried in front of my family. I think I did that because I couldn't take life: I had been kicked out of university, I had no money, no marijuana, and no closure with a girl for 5 months. I even contemplated suicide which I thought about doing after coming back from NY trip with the fams. That's when I broke down. To this day, I cannot explain clearly why I did that. After that, I cried whenever someone yells at me ( only 2wice I cried, not anymore). I know my family thinks I'm the odd ball in the house. Im so lost, I don't know if I don't learn to cope with these problems , I'm going to be miserable all my life. Can anyone provide closure on this matter? Thanks

[Clough]

Hi, goodfella21!

Happy Birthday!

Do you consider yourself to be someone who takes good care of yourself? Like eating the right foods, getting enough sleep, exercising regularly and not putting harmful things in your body?

Also, have you ever seen a health professional of some kind to see if you might have clinical depression?

There are many fine folks on this site who I know would like to help you who've also been through a lot of things in their lives and learned positive and pro-active coping strategies for whatever challenge they have had to face in their lives.

Thanks!

[kctiger]

Well, I would buy you a shot if I was with you! Keep the chin up man... life can be a beautiful thing if you let it. Get some help if you need to, because it is never worth being miserable so often, especially on your birthday! Happy Birthday man!! WOOOOOOOOO

[spitvenom]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I don't know to many 21 year old's who aren't broke so don't sweat that. If you got kicked out of school try getting into a community college I know that sounds horrible compared to going away to school but you have to start over somewhere. Stay away from the herb for a while so you can get your head straight. Don't worry about how you sound people tell me to repeat myself all the time it is what it is. Things will get better just relax and enjoy your day!! And Don't drink and drive!!

[goodfella21]

Thanks guys :) it's great to be appreciated.

[kctiger]

Anytime pal!! We are all here for you, and you are NEVER alone! Now drink up

[truthxbextold]

Happy birthday belated!crying is a good release from your inner frustrations do it as needed.sounds like you have a few tics,and a lot of anxiety,go to a therapist,get the legal drugs that help your condition,get a job,skip the girlfriends for now and enroll in nightclasses,that will keep your mind busy and go to church.