[tomfoolery]

Hello all I've been browsing the internet as I have a bit of a dillemma, more of a lot of a dillemma and I thought I would share this for some impartial opinions?

Here goes : Ive been seeing a girl/woman for 6/7 months and been having lots of fun with her. From the start I had my reservations as I was finding it difficult being in a relationship again and having to compromise with someone all the time but I tried my best, please bear in mind my first relationship lasted 14 years and I had only been single for a year and only dating for 6 months of that, so wasn't really ready for another heavy one. I was enjoying my single status and the freedom that came with it.

Anyway we had been spending lots of time together from the start, sometimes reluctantly on my behalf as she is IMO high maintenance, the insecure type, and a little over bearing too, although very attractive so there was benefits to being with her. I say reluctantly as I stopped seeing certain friends as she didn't approve. (another story) Over the course of our relationship we have had quite a lot of arguments over various things kind of too many arguments for my liking. I think for 7 months in things should be sweet and not too stressful.

So we get to xmas and we have another fight over me wanting a night out with friends. This just compounded all the other fights and stresses that we had experienced over the 7 months and so I decided to confront her with the fact that we were not compatible and that we wernt really right for each other. I confronted her with my feelings about us and she was a little indifferent and said that I had already made up my mind, but I was merely stating facts about us and that we kind of stressed each other out all th time which isn't a good thing.

Now here's the dillemma! On the morning that I confronted her over the phone with our incompatibility, we didn't speak all day long. I guess gathering our thoughts. Then she asks me to hers for talks around 6pm and announced that she was/is PREGNANT and abortion isn't an option.

Now part of me kind of likes the idea of a baby but not with the wrong woman. Im willing to support the baby as much as I can financially and emotionally but I'm unsure what to do about me and her. I just don't think we are right for each other in the long run. I think we would just irritate each other which we kind of do already.

I'm 33 and she's 39 and are not living together. On the plus side we have had lots of fun together and we are very attracted to each other physically but I don't think these are qualities for sustaining a happy relationship in the long run.

Apologies for the long story but wanted to explain best I can thanks for reading!

[Fr_Chuck]

So if you like her you keep dating her, help get things ready for a baby. A father does not have to live in the home to be a dad.

Then in time if you are ready for a relationship move on with it.
Don't even get together just for a baby.

[talaniman]

You don't have to be married, or friends, to do the right thing by a child, so what's the problem?

[N0help4u]

Sounds like she was ready for the break up.
What you do other than paying child support is telling a potential girlfriend that you like your nights out with the guys and things you want in a relationship. Too many jump into a full fledged relationship when they really have no idea what the other is really like until it is too late.

[ja77]

Even if you do not want to be with this girl you need to man up and become a father.

Even if the two of you stay apart or break up, you must always be there for your child no matter what.

This relationship sounds well messed up, you to need to really grow up now you are both becoming parents.

[tomfoolery]

You don't have to be married, or friends, to do the right thing by a child, so what's the problem?


The Problem is do I carry on seeing her and try and make a go of it or quit now so that I'm not emotionally involved with her whe the baby arrives?

[ja77]

You don't have to be married, or friends, to do the right thing by a child, so whats the problem??


The Problem is do i carry on seeing her and try and make a go of it or quit now so that im not emotionally involved with her whe the baby arrives?

If this is not a good healthy relationship then there is no point in staying together just for the child, this in most cases always fails.

You need to keep open communication in regards to the baby coming along etc, and make sure you are involved in your child's life from the start.