[MarkwithaK]

Engee182 disagrees: Beating is another form of negative reinforcement.

BS! Complete and utter BS! The problem is that all you new age liberals make it a crime and punish the parents for what might be the only course of action on some kids. Beating a child is NOT the same as busting his A$$ for acting a fool. I got my butt whooped a lot when I was a kid and not only did I deserve every one I got but it taught me respect. This is why some parents have children that just walk all over them.

[TexasParent]

How do I get my 17 year old son to be more respectful toward me? He uses a lot of cuss words towards me. I have taken things away that he really enjoys but that doesn't seem to bother him. Very disrespectful.

I suggest you watch the Dog Whisperer with Cesar Milan. He talks a lot about setting boundries and limitations, if your son is acting this way now it's because you haven't been setting them. Love is not giving your kids whatever they want or allowing them to act anyway they want. Love is setting boundries and limitations that help them grow into responsible functioning adults. It's possible that you have your own self love issues if you find it difficult to set those boundries with your son as you likely fear that he won't love you anymore. If you were more secure with your own self love you wouldn't need his approval and you wouldn't put up with his crap for fear of losing that approval.

I will recommend a book called Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie. I think it's a great book to help you understand the family dynamic you are in right now and how to start loving yourself and setting boundries.

[dontknownuthin]

When you're getting along, talk to him about it. Also watch how you interact with him - are you swearing around the house, too? How do you interact with your spouse in front of your son? Have you set the tone?

If this is an all of a sudden thing, I'd be snooping into his business to find out if something else is up - sudden changes like this can be a sign of drug involvement or drinking or huffing. Or he might just be trying to get some distance from you. Try to talk to him about giving him some space and privacy, And about how doing that requires that he be responsible and treat you respectfully. If he's irresponsible and rude, then you have a responsibility as a parent to find out what's the problem, which means you will be in his business.

It's a lot like having a toddler. If he asks for something rudely, the answer is always no. If he refuses to take care of something, take it away. If he won't pick up his room, throw all his stuff in garbage bags and take it to work for a few days or a week until he gets the point that if it's left for you to pick up, you will take full control over it. If he's rude to you in front of friends, he stays home and the friends have to leave. If the friends are rude, they have to leave. And so on. Don't get into big discussions, just dispassionately and calmly implement the appropriate responses.

The suggestion of hitting him is very stupid. Responding to one form of disrespect with another will get you nowhere and may backfire - most teenage boys are soon bigger and stronger than their mothers.

[xbabycakesxx]

I think u should just ask him wats wrong. Just sit him down and talk to him about why he shouts at you

[talaniman]

At 18, and living at home breaking rules, he has to go. The problem is he should have to pay the consequenses for his actions, or what's the point in talking? At 18 he is his own man.