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dawnywawny · Jan 5, 2009, 11:10 PM

I wanted to ask about my husband. There are two of his friends that are in town for a while from Cali. They were friends of his in high school who ended up dating each other and having a child together but they are not together any more. What I'm afraid of is that he has feelings for the woman. He has admitted that he like her before his friend dated her. He spends all day texting her. From the morning till bedtime. When it was just the male friend in town, he didn't want to go to the bar with him but now that she's here he goes with them often. I feel like I'm competing with this woman for my own husband. I have talked to him about this but he says that he doesn't feel anything for her. His words say one thing but his body language around her says something totally different. I'm at a complete loss as to what to do here.

mrrobin · Jan 6, 2009, 12:04 AM

From aguy who cheated on his wife of 27 years. (working together to recover). My wife told me she thought she knew. But never acted on it because she didn't want to believe. My wife says, "Believe the obvious". If he hasn't yet he may not realize he is approaching a large mistake. Talk to him sincerely and tell him about me. If not it may be too late. Lastly it does not mean he does not love you. Just help him get his priorities straight. DON'T QUITE AT HIS FIRST DENIAL!

Jake2008 · Jan 6, 2009, 01:30 AM

You have two problems here. One is the unacceptable communication from her to your husband, and two, his unacceptable communication with her. They are both heading down a slippery slope.

When the three of them make arrangements to go to the bar, why do you not go as well. Make it clear that you are in the picture, and try hard to be gracious about what you think you know, and suspect. At this point you have no proof anyway. Don't say a word.

Invite all of them over for dinner. Be a good hostess and suggest other get togethers. They are only there a short time you said. Maybe offer, as a foursome, to show them the sights.

My guess is that will throw cold water on anything possibly accelerating, and give her a clear signal that you are not sitting at home, crying in the dark, wondering what your husband is up to. Show some interest and get your nose in there.

I'd be all over that one like white on rice.