[bongabot]

I have been dating the same girl for more than 2 years. We started as seniors in high school and ended up going to the same college. These last 2 years have been the happiest years of my life. Yesterday my girlfriend was supposed to come over and we were going to go ice skating. When she came downstairs to my room after the initial hello I could tell something was wrong. She than proceeded to say that she didn't think that we should follow through with our weekend plans to go to the lake. When she said this I could tell something was happening. She then started crying and I tried to comfort her and ask her what was going on. She then said, It's not working out. She said she needs time apart to figure out if this is really where she wants to be. We are both still very much in love with one another. I have never doubted that she loves me and still don't. She also cites the fact that I have become too dependent on her, that I have started to let go of everything else because it's so easy to just be happy with her. This is definitely true, I even have a hard time going out and doing social things together because I am happiest when we are just laying together and cuddling or watching a movie. I have made myself a security blanket that I can't get away from. I have also always been insecure since I was little because of problems with friends and other things. This insecurity led to me questioning her loyalty to our relationship sometimes. I don't know why I did it I never actually meant it. We were happy together 95% of the time and when we did have arguments they were always resolved at that time. This all happened so suddenly.

Does time apart really give us any chance?

[JBeaucaire]

Time apart gives you a chance. That's the chance you need.

She's already WAY ahead of you in this process, but she's well along the way to moving on with her life, and she's desperately trying to save you from as much pain as possible during this. She does still care about you, but she's moving away.

Take heed of the critiques she's provided. It's important info. It's more important you hear her honest input than find some way to 'get her back'. You need to grow.

Successful relationships are invariably based on two independent, successful individuals who share their success, who admire and encourage one another. This scenario is almost guaranteed success.

But most people form a kind of interdependency or flat-out-dependency that isn't healthy, or at best works, but doesn't take them anywhere. I think maybe your girlfriend is hinting along these lines.

So, take your time apart, start getting your life back. You need your own goals, accomplishments, hobbies, habits, friends, history... and then some girl to admire you doing all that. That's the chance you need.