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Kayveen · Jan 2, 2009, 09:30 AM

Hey I'm 16 Kevin
Ive really have strong feelings for my girlfriend and I always seem to be there for her at all times. But lately it seems like
1. I'm boring her?
2. I'm always here, she's got me nothing to worry about now

We still are strongly together but just these little things lately that makes me feel worried and unloved
Like she being out a lot, or she is busy when talking to me or sometimes doesn't start the conversation until a long time or (am I just paranoid about these little things)
I haven't tried this yet. But I search over nets and it says to make her miss you is to not contact her/disappear until she contacts you?
So by doing this

I don't go online at all. What so ever? And wait until she texts or calls me? Or what's?
Plus its school holidays at the moment so I don't see her at all. Until her birthday in 3 weeks or something

What should I do exactly? To try to make her miss me.

As a teen

ITstudent2006 · Jan 2, 2009, 09:37 AM

As a 16 yeaor old I would assume your g/f is roughly the same age. Whether you guys want to admit it or not, the chances that you'll be eachothers boyfriend and girlfriend forever is veeerrrryyy slim.

You guys are still developing, still maturing and growing up (hell I am still and I'm 21) give it time and communicate with her, like I've posted on many others threads, COMMUNICATION is the key in any relationship.

Hope This helps!

P.s. keep in mind she's got emotions running wild right now, as do you! You're young yet.

liz28 · Jan 2, 2009, 09:53 AM

Disappear or stopping contact with her won't make her miss you but it can't push her away from you. So if you don't want to lose her don't consider any of these an option.

I agree with the above post that communication is the key. If you've any concerns express them to your girlfriend, this is the only way the relationship can grow or last.

Also, don't let this relationship consume your life. Hang out with friends and do other things outside the relationship but the two of you need to have a life outside of the relationship in order for it to be healthy.

Kayveen · Jan 2, 2009, 10:08 AM

[QUOTE=ITstudent2006;1458997]
You guys are still developing, still maturing and growing up (hell I am still and I'm 21) give it time and communicate with her, like I've posted on many others threads, COMMUNICATION is the key in any relationship.

QUOTE]

yeah I'm not disagreeing to your answer but like. I miss her a lot when she is away or out for maybe just a few days. But I just want to see if she feels the same thing. Cause I haven't tried it but yeas.. if you know what I mean

when I say don't contact with her. Doesn't mean for along time. Its just like a small test. Which could make me feel better of how she feels

I can't explain =='

ITstudent2006 · Jan 2, 2009, 10:14 AM

It soounds like it's really bugging you.

Testing her is not going to do much, do what I said. Since you guys are still dating don't ignore her and sit down and talk with her let her know what's bugging you and tell her how you feel about her. Telling her this will let her know where you stand thus she can get a better understanding of if it's what she wants. If so then ask her what she wants out of this relationship and give it to her. After you tell her how you feel and what's bugging you she might just relaize it's not for her and if so, don't push the matter, let it go.

All you can do is communicate, tell her how you feel and tell her you're willing to wait until she knows what she wants.

Communication is the key.

LoveLifeBeHappy · Jan 2, 2009, 11:45 AM

Rather than ignoring her, just tell her straight how you feel. As a girl, I'd say I'd rather that. You shouldn't ignore her, if she's having seconds thoughts about you, ignoring her might provoke her and you might lose her.

ITstudent2006 · Jan 2, 2009, 11:59 AM

Lovelifebehappy is right nobody likes being ignored even if it's a test.

COMMUNICATION
COMMUNICATION
COMMUNICATION

Talk to her! Let her know! As a 21 year old guy I've been where you're at! Being open is the best remedy to a successful relationship!

liz28 · Jan 2, 2009, 12:08 PM

This is a valuable lesson to learn. Cutting contact with your girlfriend would be playing games and you don't do this to someone that you care about.

Expressing how you feel is the way the go so go and do it. Would you like it if she stop talking to you? I don't think so.

Alty · Jan 2, 2009, 12:14 PM

when I say don't contact with her. Doesn't mean for along time. Its just like a small test. Which could make me feel better of how she feels

This is not the way to have a mature relationship.

I guarantee that if you test her, you'll fail! Girls don't like boys who play games, those boys get booted to the curb very quickly.

Talk to her, if you love her as much as you claim then talking should be a breeze. Tell her how you feel, that you miss her, care for her and want to know if she feels the same way.

Also, you need to find your own interests, you can't live your whole life clinging to someone else. A relationship should make you feel good, not desperate.

Good luck.

Kayveen · Jan 2, 2009, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

This is a valuable lesson to learn. Cutting contact with your girlfriend would be playing games and you don't do this to someone that you care about.

Expressing how you feel is the way the go so go and do it. Would you like it if she stop talking to you? I don't think so.

Yea you are right, you guys are all right! I read lots of pages and they say cut contact and stuff. Which isn't the solution. I'm going to tell her how I feel
It will be her birthday soon and I'm going to take her out to city for lunch and buy a tiny cake for us both to celebrate and the next dayy is the party where everyone else is invited
And I decided if I should buy a rose, and write a essay of how I feel and leave it under her pillow and text her to surprise her?

I will do this for sure.. but is it too much? Cause I'm already giving her a present? And taking her out?

But I want to do this..

Alty · Jan 2, 2009, 12:23 PM

No contact is advised when you break up, not when you're still going out.

As for the gifts, only you can determine if it's too much, you know her, we don't.

Just have fun, stop overthinking everything. Relationships are supposed to make you smile, not pull your hair out.

LoveLifeBeHappy · Jan 2, 2009, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by Kayveen

yea you are right, you guys are all right!. i read lots of pages and they say cut contact and stuff. which isnt the solution. i'm gonna tell her how i feel
it will be her birthday soon and im gonna take her out to city for lunch and buy a tiny cake for us both to celebrate and the next dayy is the party where everyone else is invited
and i decided if i should buy a rose, and write a essay of how i feel and leave it under her pillow and text her to suprise her?

i will do this for sure.. but is it too much? cause im already giving her a present? and taking her out?

but i want to do this..

Sweety, you can do what ever you want. She's going to love it.

Good luck!

Kayveen · Jan 2, 2009, 12:24 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

This is not the way to have a mature relationship.

I gaurantee that if you test her, you'll fail! Girls don't like boys who play games, those boys get booted to the curb very quickly.

Talk to her, if you love her as much as you claim then talking should be a breeze. Tell her how you feel, that you miss her, care for her and want to know if she feels the same way.

Also, you need to find your own interests, you can't live your whole life clinging to someone else. A relationship should make you feel good, not desperate.

Good luck.

Yeas you are right this is not a mature way.
Yes I will tell her how I feel by writing a poem/letter of how I feel and surprise with a rose.
I have always plann to do somethng biggg. But I don't know if she thinks I'm doing too much?
Cause I'm already did other stuff?

But o well I'm going to do it cause I haven't recently done something like this and ever really wrote down how I feel

ITstudent2006 · Jan 2, 2009, 12:27 PM

At this point in the relationship and your current issue, writing down your feelings aren't as passionate as you may think.

To be honest I would tell her right to her face honest and sincere! Stay strong and you will prevail as far as she goes, in the end it's her choice!

Good Luck

Kayveen · Jan 2, 2009, 12:30 PM

Originally Posted by ITstudent2006

At this point in the relationship and your current issue, writing down your feelings aren't as passionate as you may think.

To be honest I would tell her right to her face honest and sincere! Stay strong and you will prevail as far as she goes, in the end it's her choice!

Good Luck

Yeaas I don't see her face to face until 24 jann so. I will plann what I need to say and ill type out the resolution out here

Thankks for showing the mature way

By the way is there anything else I need to know?

LoveLifeBeHappy · Jan 2, 2009, 02:30 PM

I think your all set.

Everybody has given great advise so all should be okay.

ja77 · Jan 3, 2009, 09:59 AM

Kevin you sound very romantic for your age, I think what you are looking to do is very sweet, just make sure you do not go into over kill and make it too much.

You and your girlfriend as others have said on this page need to have better communication together which I think would fixs a lot of your problems.

You also do not need to write a full on essay regards how you feel, I have always been a big thinker of actions speak loader than words, why not write a poem etc, that's short and sweat.

Kayveen · Jan 3, 2009, 11:57 AM

[QUOTE=ja77;1461057] just make sure you do not go into over kill and make it too much.QUOTE]

I understand what your saying but I don't know. What you mean by over kill it? And making it too much?

texangirl · Jan 3, 2009, 12:38 PM

Don't play games. Tell her exactly how you feel. Games playing only leads to more game plying.

BMI · Jan 3, 2009, 01:02 PM

I absolutely love what Altenweg stated above.

I think you are insecure and that is very common at any age, especially inanewer relationship. I'm not sure I totally agree with even bringing this subject up my friend.

She is with you, she likes you, it sounds as if that is not enough for you. In fact, it sounds as if what you want is what you are giving to her, she may not be like that and forcing her to satisfy your insecurities may end up changing her and your relationship.

Before anything I'd investigate why you are so insecure about this relationship and if you find no answer than explore the options above. I'm just not sure what you expect her to do or say when you breach the subject to her?

Your original proposal is foolishness and all here agree that it will end badly. I will go against the grain here and mention that talking toher about why she does not show you the affection you think she should is also dangerous, peple are different and thusly express themselves differently.

I will also mention that sending her poetry and flowers is a very thoughtful idea, however that too can scare her. If sheis not an affectionate person than this could have the reverse effect. Think it over awhile, either you will accept the situation or you will act doing what you think is appropriate, just look at all the angles.