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    evoqus's Avatar
    evoqus Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 1, 2009, 07:53 PM
    Came on too strong now I feel stupid.
    I'm a 30 year old man. My buddy called me to stop by last week to meet his 29 year old niece from out of town. She saw me over his house before and was interested in meeting me. I hesitated because Ive been focused on serving religious obligations and I have not been dating for several years. My buddy knows this, but they know Ive been alone for some time and I have expressed some desire to eventually marry and start a family. They pushed the issue with me to meet her and I gave in.:rolleyes: I didn't think I was going to like her, but she turned out to be a very nice girl. We sat and talked for several hours. When the night came near a close, her parents where ready to go and her brother wanted to stay back, so I volunteered to ride back with her. We where talking to each other very well & I felt it was a good opportunity to get her by myself where she could get to know me even better, and gain a tighter bond. Her father got upset and demanded for her to go back and stay with them. She got upset with her dad, but I understood his plight and urged her to do as he wished. We where all drinking a little, so I called when I figured they made it back to see if they made it in OK-no answer. I just left a short message. I called the following evening-no answer again. Two days later I sent about 6 text messages total and another 6 the next day. I was drinking all weekend, but the text messages weren't too bad. I basically expressed to her that I really liked her. Part of me knows better, but Ive been out of the game for a long time and everything sounds good good while you're drinking. My buddy told me a few days later that her mom (my buddies sister) said that I sounded a little desperate :eek: and she doesn't understand why I'm single as attractive as I was. I really felt like a total loser/jerk-off. How do you lose a girl that was interested in you first? I waited a week & explained to her through a small string of text messages that I haven't been dating for some time and in fact I've been celibate due to religious preferences and have been trying to save myself for marriage-the reason why I'm such a dork. I also explained to her that I don't really drink and was a little too revealing because of the fact that I was drinking. I appoligised asked her to overlook it if she could and that I would be happy to just cultivate a meaningful friendship. I haven't heard anything back from her, and I really feel like a total lame. At first I started to just leave it alone, but my buddy claimed she's just playing hard to get like most women, and to just wait a week then call her. He said that she really liked me, but I kind of feel that the bridge is burned down now. I think it's a done deal, bad experience, lesson learned. However, I still like her and am sick about the whole thing. What should I do?:confused:
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 1, 2009, 08:15 PM

    Wait. Let her come to you. The Bible says patience is a virtue.

    (Women can't stand to be ignored if they think a guy is interested and has interacted and then disappears, mostly because of her father. If she like you and you "disappear," you will hear from her somehow.)

    Give it two weeks. If you haven't heard from her after two weeks, give up and go back to what you were doing.

    Remember. Two weeks. NO CONTACT (and no drinking that will cause you to weaken).
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Jan 1, 2009, 09:36 PM

    I admire your will to remain abstinate before marriage.. that's a major turn on in my book..

    I think you just need to relax and take things as they come.. you're just coming into the world of dating again, and there will be MORE GIRLS! Cute ones that are interesting and smart.. and you seem to have a lot going for you as well.. so I don't think you're going to have a problem.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #4

    Jan 1, 2009, 09:56 PM

    You may have turned her off with all the texting etc, but, if she doesn't call back then it's her loss.

    You seem like a really nice guy, maybe a bit nervous because you're out in the dating world again, but that's to be expected. If I had to date again I don't know if I could handle it. ;)

    Just be yourself. If she calls, great, if not, no big loss, you only met her once and there are other fish in the sea. :)

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