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nick274 · Jan 1, 2009, 07:14 PM

OK I broke up with ex 2 month ago and we were together for 4 years ,bascically she said th relationship wasn't progressing at the pace she wanted ,she wants more of a commitment to her.. now I am 25 and she is 21... so we break up and 2 weeks later she is dating a guy 40 year old guy and she is 21 , so I have told her that I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and make more of a commitment , but now she is telling me its to late.. I am still talking to her on the phone every couple days but every time we try and meet she blows me off .and she told me that us getting back together isn't an option ! I don't understand how she can be over it this fast ? I just don't understand ?she told me she wanted to marry me 2 months ago now us working it out isn't even an option ?please help...

bones252100 · Jan 1, 2009, 07:27 PM

At your reported age of 25, there is is still a lot of "growing up" to do. It sounds like you are now "professing" commitment to keep the relationship going. No worry! If she was demanding commitment at the age of 21, then is not mature enough either. Enjoy the rest of your life. You will meet a lot of people. Your life-mate will come from the least expected situation.

N0help4u · Jan 1, 2009, 07:29 PM

She was probably getting over the relationship long before she let you in on the fact that she was giving up on you. She wanted more and saw she was not getting what she felt she needed. She most likely stuck it out hoping for more but realized that what she saw was what she got with you.
Who knows when or why she went for the older guy but evidently she feels he is giving her the emotional support and commitment she felt she was lacking with you. She is with him and determined to make that work so bothering her with wanting another chance isn't going to get you anywhere.
Time to give up and move on... and learn from your mistakes.

Nestorian · Jan 1, 2009, 07:30 PM

Sorry bro,

That sucks, but like she said, "it's too late." However, that's not so for other girls. There will be others. And it will hurt, but all you can do is get up, and live. Keep busy, and active. Go out and also give yourself time to let go too.

Not much else I can say, but find yourself, and live what you want to. The special some one usually comes after all that.

Nestorian · Jan 1, 2009, 07:34 PM

P.S. I went through the same thing, found a girl. Loved her for 4 years, then she told me she needed "time". So I willingly gave it, then she was dating another guy for three weeks before she said she didn't love me any more.

I was tore up pretty bad, OK my whole life fell apart. But I also got better. I found myself, and got to be free to to that. I still hurt, 2 years later, and I still love her. But I don't regret it. I've since met some very amasing women, but even they didn't work out. So I continue to enjoy the life I have.

Take care budy, we all have these times.

babyshooter11 · Jan 2, 2009, 12:27 AM

Well from the sounds of it, you really didn't do anything wrong. So what if you weren't "moving as fast" as she wanted you to? You can't truly change something like that. You were just moving at a pace that you were comfortable with and you shouldn't have to change that pace for anyone. No matter how much you care for them, you should never go out of what is comfortable for you. I'm sorry to say but there is no step-by-step guide that will guarantee you your ex will come back back. You just can't force somebody to want you. It's an awful feeling once you realize something like this, trust me I know, but sometimes you don't really have any other choice then to just move one with out that person.

complicatedlife · Jan 2, 2009, 02:03 AM

Sorry about that, but if she change her mind about you so fast its prpbab;ly because she didn't really wanted to be with you for longer. Girls are pretty confusing she might have said that the relationship wasn't progressing the way she wanted just to use that as an excuse and break up with you. So forget about that move on and like others said get very very busy so the hard times go by very fast...

budy_soso · Jan 2, 2009, 06:12 AM

Sorry to say that what kind of girl is she? You have been with her 4years and she leave you like that?? OMG I don't think she was loveing you as you did, but have she try to call you or sms you??

liz28 · Jan 2, 2009, 10:51 AM

You can't win someone back that doesn't want to be won back. However you can move on and learn from the relationship you had with her.

She done move on to someone. Regardless of the time frame it's her life to live and her decision to make so if anything you should respect that and leave her alone.

Stop talking to her because your only setting your own self up and giving yourself false hope. She already told you that she doesn't want to get back with you and her actions are proving that by the plans she's making with you and then breaking it.

Accept that this is over with and let go. You live your life and let her live hers.