[sushiboy]

I have been married for 10 years and am 12 years older than my wife. She is a wonderful woman.

We have two great girls and we seldom fight, can complete the other's sentences and view the world and most things in the same way. We have had difficulty of late as I am in andropause and am debating going on testosterone. I have read the risks and they are numerous. We do not have great sexual relations and she has expressed her frustration with it but we have been working on it and it is improving with ED medication.

About 2 months ago, I clicked on email and accidentally clicked into her account. I did not notice that I was in the wrong place an started to open emails (we get a lot of ads like most people). I clicked on one and it came up and was one of the regular customers (she manages a restaurant) who is a man.

My job puts me in touch with many people and I never correspond with any of them. I became suspicious and although I feel guilty, I check it once in a while. They do correspond in a joking way but nothing sexual has every been mentioned, etc. He is her age and has two children (his wife and he split up recently). She wrote to a friend and asked if she knew him because she lived in the same community. She described him by name, age, and children's ages but called him a customer.

It seems innocent but I am really bothered by this.

Often she initiates these emails. I feel terrible that I found out in this way. Here are my questions:

1) I obviously can't bring it up with her as that won't go over very well that I read these 5 or 6 emails.

2) Does this sound like something suspicious going on or innocent?

3) What is the next step that I should take?

4) He is her age and although she is very moral and religious that bothers me as well.

There seems to be no obvious issues with our relationship. She is close with my parents and family and I am with hers. I have seen no change in that. I also know that she feel that broken homes are very scarring on children. Please, some advice.

[jmw0713]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Unless you start noticing major changes in her behavior then I would just let it go and not think about it.

[itried]

Honestly, I would be a little suspicious. Under what circumstances do you think an email address exchange would have arisen between the two of them? Why do they even need to correspond at all? Also, has she ever mentioned this man to you? If not, then there is probably a reason for why. If your sex life is lacking then she probably feels the need to be desired. And this guy probably makes her feel like she is desirable. I would watch her behaviour for a while before jumping to conclusions or confronting her. But since she is asking other people about him, then he has piquéd her interest. Keep tabs on her without letting her know you are. Good luck.

[talaniman]

The simplest plan is the best I feel, and that's to honestly tell her of your mistake, and of your discovery, and no need to accuse her of anything. Then drop the whole issue because unless your passwords are different you weren't snooping where you?

Then knowing of your access to her mail, she sure wasn't hiding it, so don't accuse, or act guilty. Give her a red rose first ,with an apology to start, and pay attention to her reaction.

I really don't think you should be worried, but we will see.

[TrueFaith]

You have nothing to worrie about. People cans speak with others

Idont over think things I agree with TAL you should tell her your mistake and tell her what you found.

Take it easy and be calm!

All the best man

Its only your own insecritys that are making you feel like this. You think your not good enough for her due to her ED
And you see this young guy
And you of course think oh my god he is young fit lalal

No! It has nothing to do with that
You guys are married and that counts for something

All the best