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artlady · Dec 24, 2008, 08:45 PM

Well I guess I would say.. wishing you the best and hoping you are happy and hoping you are looking forward to the new year... its real... but non committal .

Oh honey don't stress over it.. go out and have some fun.. life is too short for BS... really!

LoveStoned · Dec 24, 2008, 11:44 PM

I just set myself up for failure after I returned my ex boyfriend christmas call... I spoke to him for a little wished me a happy holiday... Then I called back 3 hours later.no answer... I just felt like I needed to talk to him. If he calls back eventually I just don't know what to do.

I feel like wrtiing him a letter explaining to him now why I left the way I did (said I was going somewhere and never came back).
We were suppose to meet up after the holidays but I know it will hurt.

talaniman · Dec 25, 2008, 05:58 AM

Let it go please, your just digging yourself deeper in misery.

Romefalls19 · Dec 25, 2008, 04:27 PM

How much deeper of a hole are you going to dig yourself into? You would think that after feeling like sh!t you would have realized that you don't need to call him to talk. Now you are back to square one! You need to pick your pride up off the ground if you have any hope of moving on and getting a better life. Please, when we say NC is the way to go because it works, we know what we are talking about because we have all been through it.

loveyouall · Dec 25, 2008, 05:31 PM

I didn't listen to your advice, on Christmas Eve, I sent my ex a very simple email to wish him Merry Christmas. No response from him, I thought that maybe he hasn't checked his emails. So on Christmas Day, I sent him a "2 words" text message "merry christmas". Still no response from him.
I'm not mad because he didn't respond, I'm just disappointed of him. Before I made the decision to send him the greeting, I've told myself to prepare for the worst and not to expect any return from him.
I thought that sending him the greeting is a classy thing to do, it's a happly holiday season. I think my gesture was kind and no harm in sending good wishes at this time, and I think it is good manners to return the gesture but for whatever reason he hasn't. When someone took the time out of their day to wish you well. It would be good courtesy to return those good wishes, even your enemy.
Maybe it's just me. I don't understand how guys think after a breakup. Can we not be friends anymore ? After all, he's the one that did the breakup, and it wasn't overly negative. My greeting to him was just something simple, nothing about getting back together. I think he's a pathetic loser. From a guy's perspective, why he hasn't respond, even just a simple wish??
I regret that I sent him the Christmas greeting. I should have taken you guys' advice. Now I had to pay the price for not listening.

roxypox · Dec 25, 2008, 05:53 PM

Yes you should have listened, for your own sake and for his. Its called a break up b\c its broken... and you need to stop all this messaging and the calls and the emails. Him not picking up and not answering texts and email, is a clear sign that he doesn't want any contact, you should respect that! And you should stop tormenting yourself, a break up can be very hard and I have sympathy for you.

But you need to accept it and go back to NC and treat yourself with some respect, have dignity, do like Rome said and pick your pride up from the floor and be good to you...

artlady · Dec 25, 2008, 06:41 PM

There is no one pat answer for everyone.The NC thing is a great idea and I would recommend it but it is not for everyone.

There is no one size fits all when it comes to how people deal with relationships.

In my experience exes can be friends. It will take time to get there but it does happen.

Like the young lady said she thought it was a classy thing to do and she was right.
It's a gesture of sophistication.

And by taking the higher road she got her answer.
To loveyouall,

I am sorry that you took my advice if it ended up being something you regret,but I suspect you knew all along what you wanted to do... but you did learn something by that and I think now you can do the NC on your terms ,because you want to.

Many Blessings Michele

talaniman · Dec 25, 2008, 07:00 PM

Don't be to mad, as we all have to cope with our feelings in a way that works for us, and a lot of times after a break up, even a "good" break up requires time, and you just can't rush it.

Friends comes after healing(?), and to heal, time and space, is needed. That's what he needs. He is not ready for what you want.

Read some of the posts here about trying to be friends before your ready with an ex, its nothing but misery, and pain, and a big misunderstanding of motives, and intentions.

roxypox · Dec 26, 2008, 10:22 AM

talaniman: I agree with that, friends comes after healing and time and space! My x no one and I are friends, not close friends, but enough that I sometimes visit him and his wife and so on. X no2 and I will never be friends! No matter how much time passes. It really does differ from person to persona and relationship to relationship.

all x's can't be friends though.

there really is no one size fits all like artlady said!

I wish you luck with the healing though! Do take care of yourself!

loveyouall · Dec 30, 2008, 06:13 PM

Why would a guy cried when he broke off a relationship ?

jmw0713 · Dec 30, 2008, 06:53 PM

Guy have emotions too. We are not robots. We are humans just like everyone else. Some guys just hide their emotions better than others. It was difficult for him too. Just because someone does the breaking, doesn't mean it is not difficult for them.

loveyouall · Dec 30, 2008, 07:05 PM

Originally Posted by jmw0713

Guy have emotions too. We are not robots. We are humans just like everyone else. Some guys just hide their emotions better than others. It was difficult for him too. Just because someone does the breaking, doesn't mean it is not difficult for them.

Does he find it difficult even he's the one that did the breakup ?

jmw0713 · Dec 30, 2008, 07:09 PM

Sure. Breakups are not easy for either party.

411Help · Dec 30, 2008, 07:42 PM

Maybe he still cares for the woman, just not enough.

talaniman · Dec 30, 2008, 08:20 PM

Breaking up was not as easy as he made it look. Guys have feelings too, you know.

Romefalls19 · Dec 30, 2008, 08:31 PM

I'm going to give you a line from a song

"Girls don't know You think you're the only ones who show emotion Well I've been known to cry some too"

Just because we end a relationship, it doesn't mean we don't care about you anymore. It's just we don't feel the relationship is satisfying to us anymore, so we end it.

loveyouall · Dec 31, 2008, 05:50 PM

When the clock strike twelve tonight, I will pick my pride up off the ground and move on and get a better life. I will cut my ex completely off my life and will not look back.

kctiger · Dec 31, 2008, 05:52 PM

Happy New Years to you! Good luck.

artlady · Dec 31, 2008, 05:55 PM

Right on
Right on
Right on!!

The best revenge is to live well!!

jmw0713 · Dec 31, 2008, 07:23 PM

Happy New Year to everyone here. Many this year be better and happier than the last! May we all have a brighter future and forget the past!