[purpledolphin]

I have been with my husband for 3 1/2 yrs,now he's 16 yrs older and I think I am at my peak.I am 33,I don't feel neglected because I know that he still wants it,its just when we first started dating it was every night and every position,except a few. Now its mellowed out,not that I am complaining the sex is great.but I am curios as to if his age and if my age have a lot to do with the diff. needs? And if so how do I talk to him about it without being pushy?

[southerngalps]

This could be the reason for your particular situation. I think that it is not the same for all men.

In my opinion... sex will happen a lot more at the beginning of any relationship... it doesn't matter the age.

[cyberoh]

Hi, ^^
In Asia, people say, men's sexual urge will revive after 40 years old.
In other word, every human being will be in 'fire' at the beginning of their sexual life but then this 'fire' in most men will somehow die for certain reasons... such as job pressure or health reasons OR getting 'DULL' of having sex in same pattern with same place, same atmosphere and same 'person'. In other word, there should be something 'new' in husband and wife's sexual relationship. This is especially sensitive to a person of older age, like your husband.

The 2nd 'fire' will happen again after certain period... but with the trigger of some direct and indorect 'changes'. Direct change can be defined as his physical urge of sex which will natuarally revive again. It's just a matter of 'when' But also indirectly, I think you should also try to 'change' things when it comes to sex. Such as do something new which you never tried before. This will make your husband to feel new which will help him to yearn for sexual relationship.

It is YOU, who can make things happen & change things around to your favor.
^^

[Fr_Chuck]

In couples after a few years sometimes the spark seems to slow.
Older men sometimes have performance issues that cause to them slow.

But I guess at 50 they may only want to once a day, instead of three times.

[Choux]

It is mostly about good health and a well-balanced life in your age group... sex killers are obesity, alcohol, drugs, prescription drugs, boring life, lack of exercise and participation in sports, lack of hobbies, lack of altruistic work, lack of intellectual pursuits, too much religion, anxiety, depression...

[smoothy]

In couples after a few years sometimes the spark seems to slow.
Older men sometimes have performance issues that cause to them slow.

But i guess at 50 they may only want to once a day, instead of three times.

Yeah... a 20 year old will want it 3 times a day and for maybe 10 minutes each time... a 50 yeart old might only want it once a day but that will last an hour or more.


We learn Quality is better than quantity. :D

[talaniman]

He may slow down, but he ain't dead yet. You just make adjustments as time goes by.

For example, I don't swing by ceiling fans any longer, but we play Sea Hunt more. ADJUSTMENTS.

Never be to shy to discuss your sex life, with your partner.

[ATYOURSERVICE]

Open communication is the secret to a long lasting relationship, be it a marriage or friendship.

Express your concerns to him. It could be his blood pressure, could be his age, it could be his environment (stress level). Whatever it is, you are in a marriage and it effects both of you.

And I agree quality is better than quantity.

[purpledolphin]

Well,thank you all for some of the rather,lets say,insightful comments.lol I appreaciate any advice.because I do love my husband dearly,and he's a wonderful lover.just thought maybe it was me.

[smoothy]

If it sudenly tapers off to nothing or he experiences erectile dysfunction. If he doesn't see a doctor regularly get him to one. There are some medical conditions that can contribute to this as well as certain medications, and even some psycological situations. Excessive stress or physical exertion, Depression can cause this. And they can occur at a fairly young age, not just when you are old.

Its best to know why and get treatment if its needed than to assume he's just getting old.

[purpledolphin]

He goes to the doctor regularly,and believe me there is no dysfuntion.I check regualarly... lol

[smoothy]

Here is a question nobody asked and wasn't spelled out for us.

When you say tapered off... what exactly do you meant by it. From what to what?

The new girl effect will be in play here where the excitement decreases a little after you get used to each other. But it should not quickly taper off to almost nothing either.

[purpledolphin]

Well,it has been a rough yr.my father past which he was close to,his brother past 2 months and a day after,and my youngest was sexually abused by another child while at his dads,plus were moving.yeah,stress might be a good reason.

[liz28]

Sorry for all the things that happen but that can be a factor.

[mommyoftwins200]

It is a known fact that because it is a new relationship sex is always going to be great but then as the relationship gets older, sex gets old and you do not have it as much.

[skittles001]

As we age our sexual desires do decrease over time, try not to get frustrated its not his fault its just his biological clock. Either way maybe consulting a doctor on Viagra would be of some help. Happy Lovemaking.

[smoothy]

People fall into routines... routines get boring and people are in no rush to do boring things... that is the cause of most sex diminishing after marriage.

You can keep it exciting by finding out what you both enjoy and do it.

[Handyman2007]

IT is perfectly normal for a man's sex drive to diminish as he gets older. Women's do, don't they?

[Pivoman]

CHOUX... You hit the nail right on the head. Woooooooo Whooooooo... Don't forget incapatiblity, my wife and I are sleeping in separate bedrooms. Thank God for Rosy Palm & Her 5 Cousins...

[late4ct]

i have been with my husband for 3 1/2 yrs,now hes 16 yrs older and i think i am at my peak.i am 33,i dont feel neglected because i know that he still wants it,its just when we first started dating it was everynight and every position,except a few. now its mellowed out,not that i am complaining the sex is great.but i am curios as to if his age and if my age have alot to do with the diff. needs? and if so how do i talk to him about it without being pushy?

Hello,
It would be a good idea to create a comfortable environment for the two of you. Explain, to your spouse your discomfort with the change in your sexual relationship. Begin your discussion with "I Feel", ; this will open the door for your spouse to recognize what you are feeling about the subject instead of placing blame. Hopefully, your conversation should open fully where expressions are made by you both. Please, make sure you express your likes and dislikes. Most of all- LISTEN- to each other. To answer your question, actually, most men get more sexually active as they grow older.