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talaniman · Dec 28, 2008, 09:56 PM

I'll bet you talk honestly with your partner before you kick him to the curb. Honestly it takes a lot of nerve to blame him for being confused and moving on with his life. What was he supposed to do after being dumped out of the blue??

Come on give the guy a break, leave him alone, and figure why you weren't happy with such a great guy, and also figure out, why you are interested after he go with someone else.

This is all about you paying the consequences of your actions, and not wanting to. This isn't about him, and what he is doing, its about the way you feel about yourself, and right now, you need to learn to love yourself, and be happy with just YOU!!

openeyes · Dec 28, 2008, 10:07 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

i love the quote about makeing someone a priority while to them your just an optionB]

Extremely true

I'm just basically venting at first I was so depressed about the mistake I made I couldn't stop crying and than it just turned to hate even though Realistically I should not be mad at him.. but I felt it was either or depressed? Or mad? And after being depressed I carried on to being angry and trying to be mad at him..
And now finally it feels like its starting to heal I figure it's a process I have to go through

kctiger · Dec 29, 2008, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by openeyes

extremely true

im just basically venting at first i was so depressed about the mistake i made i couldnt stop crying and than it just turned to hate even though Realistically i should not be mad at him..but i felt it was either or depressed? or mad? and after being depressed i carried on to being angry and trying to be mad at him..
and now finally it feels like its starting to heal i figure its a process i have to go through

Google the 4 stages of grief... this is exactly what they are. Everyone goes through these exact emotions after a loss.

openeyes · Jan 3, 2009, 07:53 PM

So my ex boyfriend called and wanted to pass by my house today.. I let him and when he got to my house I asked him if he's still with his current girlfriend and he said currently... Yes! And he tried kissing me.. than after he left he texts me that he does not know what he wants and that he's confused I answered him that okay now I know and that when he's not feeling confused anymore and he's single to look for me.. and till than... bye

I'm not sure if that was the correct stand to take considering our past situation together but what I'm def sure of is that its getting harder and harder by the second to forget about him. The awkard part about this is that when I was with him in my house I even told him that I feel like I'm searching for something in him that's GONE!! Mostlikely he never was the person he was when he we were together and he was just pretending to be to met my needs. Now he's with a girl.. and obviously if I let it go on.. he would cheat on her!. im not sure that's the kind of guy I would want to be with and that's def not the guy I use to know..

I want to forget him and just move on but I have no idea how to start besides the fact that I can not talk to him any longer

a la king · Jan 3, 2009, 07:57 PM

You don't know where to start?

How about not having him over and not speaking with him?? Sheesssh..

ZoeMarie · Jan 3, 2009, 07:58 PM

You can start by the next time he asks if he can stop by don't answer, don't call or if you do, say no. you won't be able to forget him if still talk to him. You were right in telling him you didn't want to get involved if he is seeing someone. No one wants to be the "other woman"

kctiger · Jan 4, 2009, 08:40 AM

He is using you, utterly and completely right now, and you are letting him. This guy is a dirt bag! Do not let him use you as some back up plan because he supposedly doesn't "know what he wants" while he dates another girl.

Cut contact and get him out of your life. He made his bed, and he can lay in it now, WITHOUT you to comfort him.

ja77 · Jan 4, 2009, 08:49 AM

You need to go No Contact, this guy is with someone else now so you need to wish him luck in his life and move on with yours.

Go hang out with your friends, take on some extra hours at work - get some new hobies etc just keep yourself busy. If you keep busy and active you will find your mind becomes full of other stuff than thinking about this guy. I know its hard but like you said yourself, you do not want to be with a cheat and that he has changed.

I want to forget him and just move on but I have no idea how to start besides the fact that I can not talk to him any longer

This is why you need No Contact.

Now he's with a girl.. and obviously if I let it go on.. he would cheat on her!. im not sure that's the kind of guy I would want to be with and that's def not the guy I use to know..

Put yourself in the new girlfriend shoes. How would you feel if it was you and him still going together and he was going to her house acting the way he was kissing etc and texting, would you be pleased by this ?

openeyes disagrees: its def not that simple and easy

You don't know where to start?

How about not having him over and not speaking with him??

If it was easy none of us in the world would ever have pain from a break up. Sometimes it is hard to hear what is right. A la king was correct in what they said.