[solost84]

My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years has just told me that in July cheated on me. He said that this girl waved him down in his subdivision. We were not getting along and were not seeing each other at this time too much since I had a lot going on in my life with my family. He told me that they talked for about a total of two months. He says he only slept with her one time and I take his word for that. He said she called him in oct and stated that she was going to get an abortion and shortly after that she told him that she couldn't go through with it. I am so hurt right now. I thought I would be mad but I'm not. He just told me this four days ago and I have given this a lot of thought and told him that I want to stay with him and work this out. I truly feel like he is the one for me. She moved out of state in July. I don't have any kids and this is his first child and I know he is a good man and is going to take care of his son. He is planning to move and I told him that I want to move with him. Am I CRAZY?? She is 6 months pregnant now and he just had the paternity test. I feel like such a fool. I am waiting on him to tell me if he wants to be with me. He wants to make sure he will be able to see his son. I was pregnant in Jan but had an abortion and it hurts to see him having a child with someone he barely knows. I had an abortion because my family would not accept him and I wanted to do it in the right order (marriage first, move in, have kids). He said he was sorry about a hundred times and I know he is. I can't see my life without him. He told me that in oct we would get married next year and he's not the type to just say that.I know he truly loves me but I don't know if I am thinking logically. I am ready to leave everything for him. I can't sleep, eat, and keep throwing up when I try. I don't know where to start. Help!

[kctiger]

I am waiting on him to tell me if he wants to be with me. He wants to make sure he will be able to see his son. I was pregnant in Jan but had an abortion and it hurts to see him having a child with someone he barely knows. I had an abortion because my family would not accept him and I wanted to do it in the right order (marriage first, move in, have kids). He said he was sorry about a hundred times and I know he is. I can't see my life without him. He told me that in oct we would get married next year and he's not the type to just say that.I know he truly loves me but I don't know if i am thinking logically. I am ready to leave everything for him. I can't sleep, eat, and keep throwing up when i try. I don't know where to start. help!

You don't know where to start? How about starting with the fact that he had sex with someone he barely knew, and was even stupid enough not to use protection while doing it. He sounds like a totally responsible young man. Both of you, as a matter of fact, sound extremely imimature. Well, I guess the good thing is that he is man enough to take care of HIS son... just keep waiting around for him to make up his mind on whether he wants to be with you. That seems like a fair option to you. Where is yourself pride and dignity? He flat out cheated on you, no excuses, period! Now, he has the nerve to make you wait on him while he decides what he is going to do? You are not thinking logically, clearly, and you need to get out of this situation before you guys end up having several children that you aren't even prepared to take care of.

He is not the type to just say he is going to marry you, but he is the type to have unprotected sex with someone else besides his girlfriend... sounds like you got yourself a winner!

[talaniman]

You may believe him, I don't. I think there is a lot more to this story, and you should hold off on any decision until you get all the facts.

Most people make the mistake of forgiving to fast, but never get past the resentment, and mistrust. It doesn't go away, and has to be dealt with.

In your case, a fear of losing him has clouded your judgment I feel, and some really careful thought should be undertaken. Facts make decisions better, than fears and feelings.

[solost84]

He said he didn't have unprotected sex. He said you used a condom and he swears on his unborn child that he did.