[tanya23]

Hi, I love this guy so much, and when I say "love" I really mean it. But the problem is a year and a half ago I met his brother (that means before this guy I sad I loved) and we hung out for two months but it didn't work out. At that point I met this other brother(the guy I fell in love with) and we really hit it off. We would talk all night, he walked me home. It was months before he kissed me. At the beginning he thought that I was in love with his brother or something and didn't want to rush things, but I told him a million times that wasn't true. Finally he tells me he likes me and that I'm the best girl he ever met, but also he says he can't be with me because of his brother. Why does it have to be so complicated? It's not my fault I met his brother before him, It's not like we are married and I am cheating on him... what can I do? Ask him or what? I'm tired of this. Thank you

[roxypox]

well, dating one sibling and then meeting the other sibling or one best friend and then meeting the other best friend can become messy and complicated... you become like yoko, you step in between the two of them.

do you know how this guys brother feels about you? B\c if he really liked you, or even if it was just casual dating where the both of you felt that you didn't connect it makes it complicated for the guy you like!

I don't know how it works in your circles, but in mine there is this unwritten rule; if I date a guy and its over, or if I like a guy, he is virtually off limits for everyone in my closest circle. Only very very very very special circumstances can break the rule... or if the dating was bad on my part and I broke it of... and the person talks to me before asking the guy out etc. (or a lot of time has to pass, lol and I'm actually talking years, depending on my history with the guy!)

this might sound silly to some, but it all ties into loyalty, respect and trust. You have to be able to trust your friends, your siblings etc.

if the rule is broken, then you break my trust, you potentially hurt my feelings

My brother and his friends had some problems with this when they were younger. My brother started to date one of his best friends x's and it created havoc for him. (they made up and are still good friends today... but my brothers friend was really really peeved! )

Does this make any sense?

what you could do is ask this guy some questions about it...

why can't he date you?
you have stated that you weren't in love with his brother, but how did\does his brother feel about you?
is there anyway you can date without his brother being mad?
does he want to date you, I don't mean to create any doubt... but you should make sure its not some line he's feeding you...

if he wants to date you, could he talk to his brother about this?

[talaniman]

If he knows how his brother feels, then he respects those feelings, sorry, but unless THEY talk, this can go nowhere. You don't want to be wedge between them do you?

[tanya23]

His brother is not in love with me, he went to live in another town and he has a girlfriend, so... I just wish I could turn back the time and start a normal relationship. I fell like I'm standing between them and I don't want to do that. I wish they could talk about it.

[roxypox]

Well, maybe you should ask the guy you like to talk to his brother... or else you'll just have to find a way to move on...