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pholbroo · Dec 25, 2008, 10:11 AM

How do I get my 17 year old son to be more respectful toward me? He uses a lot of cuss words towards me. I have taken things away that he really enjoys but that doesn't seem to bother him. Very disrespectful.

pholbroo · Dec 25, 2008, 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by pholbroo

How do I get my 17 year old son to be more respectful toward me? He uses a lot of cuss words towards me. I have taken things away that he really enjoys but that doesn't seem to bother him. Very disrespectful.

What should I do to gain his respect?

ISneezeFunny · Dec 25, 2008, 10:17 AM

I feel like there's more here. Why is he disrespectful towards you?

talaniman · Dec 25, 2008, 12:00 PM

Is his dad around, or do you have a male figure you can talk to?? Uncle, brother? Grandfather??

Fr_Chuck · Dec 25, 2008, 01:13 PM

By 17 they have learned how they are going to act. Has this issue "just" happened, or has it been going on for a long time just getting worst.

pholbroo · Dec 25, 2008, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

I feel like there's more here. Why is he disrespectful towards you?

It seems like when he does not get his way.

AManWithNoName · Dec 25, 2008, 09:48 PM

Well, have you ever tried hitting him, he mouths off to you, smack him in the back of the head, that all ways gets me to shut the hell up, "dad, your a fat f###" *pow* "I'm sorry, wahaaaaaahaahaa!"
My dad is a bad , ex navy seal, seal team 6 mastercheif pety officer, and he's not afraid to kick my @$$ when I'm outa line, so why don't you, just hit him

pholbroo · Dec 25, 2008, 10:01 PM

Can't do that. Not the right thing to do.

ZoeMarie · Dec 25, 2008, 10:05 PM

OK this may sound really stupid but have you come right out and ask him why he's disrespects you? If we had more information we might be able to help you better. Could you answer the questions that other posters have asked?

AManWithNoName · Dec 25, 2008, 10:17 PM

Originally Posted by pholbroo

Can't do that. Not the right thing to do.

Why's that?

LoveLifeBeHappy · Dec 31, 2008, 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

Why's that?

Lol, you can't hit kids these days, its illegal. I think you can go to jail for it.

LoveLifeBeHappy · Dec 31, 2008, 02:48 PM

I have 13 and 15 year old boys and I don't have a problem with them. Try what I do. Make sure he know you're the adult your in charge but respect the fact that he practically an adult, he's going to have strong point of veiws on things and let him express that. Make deals and don't break them.

As a kid my mum would tell me if I did (example) the dishes I could go to a friends sleepover and I would do them. Then I wouldn't do something small I was told to do later and she would tell me I could go to the sleepover. She broke the deal and I would act out on her because of that.
I've learnt from that and never break deals and respect my children as I would respect anyone else.
And make sure he knows this and express your love for him more, kids pretend they don't like that but they really do.

Wondergirl · Dec 31, 2008, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

Why's that?

Because then you create an angry kid who punches at the drop of a hat, abuses his own body with alcohol and cigarettes, and doesn't respect women and authority.

rockerchick_682 · Jan 1, 2009, 09:43 PM

There is no way that ANY 17 year old is going to keep the same personality throughout their whole life. Disrespectful spoiled brats = bad parenting.

I'm 18 years old and though I might fight with my parents occasionally I NEVER cuss them out and if they ask me to do something then I do it.

Could you give me an example of a time when he was disrespectful? Different situations call for different punishments so if you give me an example, then I could tell you what my parents would have done or what would work.

There isn't one general rule for parenting. If there was it would be consistency.

ITstudent2006 · Jan 2, 2009, 12:19 AM

I didn't read the other posts so I am not sure where everyone stands but have you checked to see if it could be a mental issue.
Ie: sociapathism

This is caused by trauma in a child's life. Has your son experienced any sort of trauma.(loss of fatherfigure) Was he adopted/foster care? If so attachment disorder or RAD (reactive attachment disorder) can have serious affects on a child even at 17. I was adopted at age 7 as was my brother and sister and too this day (I am 21 now) I have rage issues I blame on trauma (things I've seen that a 5-6 year old should never see) displacemnt from many homes and 7 different schools bfore I was 7 years old. This may not be the case but it makes you wonder!

I am just throwing out another option!

Also communicate more with him, ask him what's wrong, what makes him mad and when does he CLICK! I always wished my parents would talk to me more, as much as we act like we are badasses and don't need your help WE DO, I loved it when my dad would talk to me about things and my mom too!

rockerchick_682 · Jan 2, 2009, 12:43 AM

ITstudent2006,

What were you referring to?

ITstudent2006 · Jan 2, 2009, 12:47 AM

you stated spoiled disrespectful kids=bad parenting. That's why I disagree my parents were great aprents and I had a rotten brother who suffers from sociapathism and it has nothing to do with my parents parenting technques.

To say that a disrespectful child is bad parenting is an opinion and in no way can be proved. And to tell the OP to tell YOU n scenario and then you could tell the OP the proper way of handling it ludacris, you're an outsider looking in and in no way have you got the right and/or knowledge to handle a situation so unknown and uninterpreted!

p.s. what time is it in Colorado

barbiechick123 · Jan 2, 2009, 11:44 PM

I think you need to sit your son down and tell him that you are the one putting a roof over his head, and that you are the one feeding him and giving him what he needs and wants so if he keeps acting this way by the time he is 18 you won't be doing everything for him... seriously, he is almost a full adult, able to move out, just let him know you are his support system and you won't be for longer with his attitude.

engee182 · Jan 4, 2009, 01:57 AM

There doesn't always have to be a reason for him to be disrespectful and what not. Most likely its just a phase because you have not mentioned that it has been going on for a long time now. If it really gets that bad, all you can do is talk to him. Punishing a teenager never gets anybody anywhere. All punishment does is lead them to do whatever they did again. Seventeen is quite the rebellious age.

MarkwithaK · Jan 4, 2009, 02:19 AM

Originally Posted by LoveLifeBeHappy

Lol, you can't hit kids these days, its illegal. I think you can go to jail for it.

And that's what's wrong with kids these days! They know they can do whatever they want with no real responsibility for their actions. When I was younger and I acted up I got my handed to me and I deserved it. Eventually I learned that if I didn't want an kicking then I should behaved.