Originally Posted by
firelion
I broke up with my boyfriend of two years about five months ago. We had looked at rings. I went out with someone else. I ended it with the other guy. My ex knows that. Hes hurt. My ex started dating someone immediately when I left him too. He is still seeing her but he told me he did not want anything serious with her. Told him 2 weeks ago I wanted him back. He said he needed to think about it. The girl is still around. I emailed him two days ago and asked him for another chance. Told him to please respond. He has not. If he does not want to work things out with me why wont he just say it? Why wont he give me a response?
Originally Posted by
firelion
I broke up with him because I waited two years on a ring and did not know if he was really serious. Also I thought I needed to move on. I tried for the past five months. Dating the other guy and being without my ex made me realize how much I loved and wanted him and he did want a future I was tired of waiting. When we had our talk two weeks ago he told me I just had cold feet and got out of the realtionship. I realized he really was serious about a future together. I really have hurt him though. I broke up with him and started seeing that other guy and he is upset about that. We were not a perfect couple and had our arguments but we loved one another. Now this other girl is seeing him.
Well from personal experience, I dated my husband for five years before we got engaged, engaged for a year and married for four. During the five year period we also talked about getting married after three years and looked at rings (it was fun)…we exercised the idea of a future and children but noted that we where young. We never rushed it is what I am trying to say and taking a break from the relationship to see if that is what we wanted is something we did (though it didn't last long). Men are a little bit more reserved then women when it comes to marriage and children…this is a huge step for them…permanent committal to a relationship and honestly I don't think it should be taken lightly by anyone. You need to be sure that this will be the partner you want for the rest of your life. Even for those who are meant to be…marriage is work…relationships are work. By you taking the step to end it because he didn't engage you were not a very mature thing to do (sorry) but take time to enjoy the perks of a dating relationship rather then a marriage with financial concern and over and above all the other responsibilities. If I could go back to dating my husband again…I would. After five years I did also express that I wasn't sure where the direction of our relationship was going and if we where ready to spend the rest of our lives together…he already bought a ring and surprised me on our next anniversary at the bridge where we first kissed and danced to nature in the moonlight with Champaign and a one carat polar ice gold diamond ring…oh and he brought a camera. Sweet thing, he was shaking he was so nervous. I loved him undoubtedly and still do…regardless of our marital issues (which no marriage is perfect).
Now, back to your situation, you two broke up, you both seen other people, you broke up with the guy and told him how you feel and he is still seeing this new girl. It's been five months, he has moved on and hasn't responded to you even though he said that he wants to give the relationship another shot. Its natural for him to be upset but also, if he loved you would forgive you and drop the girl ASAP (its not fair to her for you two to be discussing reconciliation while she is in the picture)…this also tells you a lot about his character and this begs to question whether he will let her go or do the same to you later? You mentioned that your relationship was not perfect and that you two argued frequently. How frequently? How much do you two really have in common? What do you know about this new girl? Do you know how he feels about her? It could be possible that he is continuing to pursue this relationship with the new girl in his life because he is interested in her emotionally and physically. Evidently with new relationships there are new excitements maybe in comparison to his experience with you for the better or for the worse. Judging his actions and communication…he isn't ready to drop it. I think if he comes around; he will. Maybe not immediately, maybe some time down the road but in any event don't wait around…continue to move forward and take this as a lesson learned for now until he does tell you how he truly feels and ACTS on it. If not then be prepared to move on as you initially intended as it “wasn't” meant to be and someone out there is waiting for discovery.
