[Robbiesgirl1822]

My husband and I have been married for almost two years now, we had known one another for three months and decided we were going to get married shortly there after he had left for Iraq with the Army, The deployment was 14 months long! Shortly after he had left we had started growing apart, fighting a lot, and not wanting to speak to one another, he came home for mid tour leave which is half way through the deployment and we fell back in love, he had to go back of course and when he got back to iraq things were going good and just occasional fighting like every couple, he finally came of from Iraq and since then we have been fighting and just not getting along at all, I know he has been through a lot, but so have I, its not just him in this marriage, he wants to do his things and I want to do mine, but he doesn't want to seem to help me with my things and goals, I am only supposed to be there for him and I don't feel that is right! One statement of a fight! I got a christmas tree to soon and it dyed already, he said I told you it would and you wouldn't listen and I said I was going to go to my dads and get a new one, its snowy outside and he said you wreck the car were over, I feel that those comments hurt a marriage, and I just don't know what to do or say anymore, some advice would be awesome PLEASE!

Thank you

[twinkiedooter]

You have to remember that when a man is in a combat situation it WILL change him, sometimes for the worst. My father came back from WWII and my mother said he was not the same man that she had married. My late husband was in Vietnam and when I married him he would sometimes have flash backs in his sleep and flail around in bed at night. One night he flailed around and broke my hose with his forearm in his sleep. He drank a lot to try and forget what he had been through to no avail. He was not easy to live with to put it mildly. You are going to have to remember he's not going to be the same person you first met and married, let alone the same person that you "fell in love with" all over again when he was home on leave. He IS different. You have no idea just what for hardships the man endured over there or just what he saw. His experiences over there could very well color his thinking for years and years. Please don't take his nasty comments personally and get upset with him. He is trying to "come down" from his experience the best way he can right now and I'm sure the last thing he needs is someone constantly arguing with him about everything and nothing. You could try a sit down with him and ask him just what is it that is really bothering him and then be quiet and listen to what the man has to say. It may take professional help for him to get back to his old self though.