[mystery2008]

OK so I met a guy - online... spoke to him for a few months casually then one day he gave me his number as he said he wouldn't be online much.

I didn't really think much of it - just thought he was being very forward.

I was at work and really bored and I decided to text him and say hello and that I got his message... we continued to send textes all through out the day and the next day and the next day etc... he would text me in the morning ask me how I am all day and before I went bed...

I deicded to playfully ask him when he was coming to take me for a drink - and 2 weeks later he was on his way to see me (him living about 180 miles away)

Anyway - he was on his way down and I went to my xmas work do... when he arrived he asked me if I wanted to go back to my xmas work do - in which we did... he met my colleagues and they seemed to like him.

We went back to mines and had a few more drinks - then sex, then more sex and topped it off with more sex times 2 in the morning.

I was kind of hating myself at this point thinking I didn't really know him - but it felt so right but then wondered if he would still continue to text me all the time or even come back and see me.

Before he came down he told me he was casually seeing a girl that lived in his home town but it wasn't serious and she was not his girlfriend

Anyway he went home and I was very surprised as he texted me the whole way home and still continues to text me all day everyday a week a bit later... I think I like this guy but wonder if it makes sense liking him any further

He texted me the other night and said he might not be able to talk as it might be tricky (bearing in mind the day before I told him I was going out to my ex'es mothers party)

I asked him what tricky meant and he said that he was going to see the girl he had casual sex with but he didn't end up going - that reminded me why I shouldn't get involved. I expressed how I felt and that was that I am a very jealous person and that even though he told me about this girl before he came to see me and before anything happened between us - its not something I could handle -

He told me he wouldn't do anything like that again (let me know when he is going to see her) but that's not the point - the whole point is - he is having his cake and eating it - I can't ask for a commitment because I hardly know him and he told me about this girl before... but I don't think I can handle it

What can I say or do as he is obviously going to carry on seeing this girl - I know about HER but its obvious she doesn't know about me

Is there anything I can do or say - I was thinking to say - when he knows what he wants (without me sounding like its ultimatum time) then I'll be listening... I can't bear the fact that she lives so close and he can see her at anytime and I woudlnt know about it

He says he's coming to see me after christmas to spend the weekend with me and that he really likes me from what he knows about me and he really enjoyed being with me

AM CONFUSED - CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SUGGEST SOMETHING :eek:

[roxypox]

Well dating, distance and internet connections are hard... and I def. sympathies with your feelings surrounding the guy and the other girl... especially considering that you've had sex.

Has he had sex with the other girl? (if you know, seeing as he doesn't tell you anything about her)

What do you want out of this dating? A relationship? Something really casual?

When he comes to spend a weekend with you after xmas... do he\you expect sex?

B\c if he was casually dating the both of you, well that might be slightly uncomfy, but if he casually dating the both of you ans sleeping with both of you... that's a whole other story in my eyes!

Hope this was of some help...

[talaniman]

What's so confusing? You have casual sex with a stranger, and find out he has casual sex with others. What's confusing about that?

Chances are he has casual sex with any one he wants, and you'll never know, unless he tells you, so I would strongly advise you to think with the head on your shoulders, and not the one between your legs, when it comes to casual sex with strangers, especially, long distance, online strangers.

There are always consequences for our actions, and that's true with casual sex with strangers.

Please be careful, and responsible. Better yet, stop having sex, and actually find out about the dude.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ed-294480.html

Oh Boy!

[jmw0713]

Well if you can't handle this, then accept what happened and stop talking to this guy.

If it was me and some girl was doing this to me... I wouldn't talk to her anymore. I am sort of going through this type of situation, but with my ex. I really don't talk to her to try an eliminate any confusion or hope that she will be back.

You know what this guy is doing. If you can't handle that, then why torture yourself. Move on and talk to other people.

[jmw0713]

Well after reading that other post, it sounds like your in quite pickle. You need to be more responsible with having casual sex.

Ever think about a condom... especially since you really don't know this guy or what he may or may not have STD wise!

[mystery2008]

Well if you can't handle this, then accept what happened and stop talking to this guy.

If it was me and some girl was doing this to me...I wouldn't talk to her anymore. I am sort of going through this type of situation, but with my ex. I really don't talk to her to try an eliminate any confusion or hope that she will be back.

You know what this guy is doing. If you can't handle that, then why torture yourself. Move on and talk to other people.

I did just that - tried to move on - told him I couldn't do the whole casual thing with him and her... and he said he won't see her anymore as he really likes me and him and her isn't going anywhere... should I be happy or is he trying to have more cake and eat it... guess I'll never know :confused:

[jmw0713]

Yea, I don't think you will ever know. The distance factor is too great here.

Try and find someone who lives closer to you. Long Distance relationships are very hard to do, especially if you cannot trust the person you are in the relationship with 100%.

Find someone, get to know them better, then move on from there.

[talaniman]

You know nothing about him, so is the sex that good, you would believe anything he says?? Not good.

Think he may be loading her with a bunch of BS too? Even worse, keeping you secret, as would she put up with it, as you have?? Probably so, you did.

[Krs]

I did just that - tried to move on - told him I couldnt do the whole casual thing with him and her.... and he said he wont see her anymore as he really likes me and him and her aint going anywhere..... should i be happy or is he tryin to have more cake and eat it... guess i'll never know :confused:

He loves his cake and wants to eat it ALL

Run fast run

[roxypox]

I have to agree, after reading the other post you have and after thinking about your situation.. if you want something more then a fling with this guy, then you are going to be VERY disappointed!!!

So you should just back out of it and break contact with this guy before you invest any more emotions in him!

you're just wasting your time! Time is preciouses! And something tells me that he is just not worth your time, your affection or your anything in fact!

[debdoes]

Correct me if I'm wrong... but if you sleep with someone right away, especially the first time you meet him, don't they lose respect for you and think of you as just a way to get off?

[roxypox]

Usually that can be the case... but seeing as that was a date and the guy she is 'seeing' is seeing someone else... so he prob just see her as an easy mark ) no offense!

I do know some people though who started dating after a one night stand... not that this is usually the case of dating. LOL

[mystery2008]

You know nothing about him, so is the sex that good, you would believe anything he says??? Not good.

Think he may be loading her with a bunch of BS too?? Even worse, keeping you secret, as would she put up with it, as you have??? Probably so, you did.

Feeling quite sad now - because its true I'LL NEVER KNOW..

But would he really go to all the trouble of telling me he won't see her again just to have his cake... it will be him spending his time and money to come get here... the cake can't be that great or is it...

Is there anything I can do or say to be sure or should I just move on and tell him not to bother trying to finish it with her

[mystery2008]

Correct me if I'm wrong......but if you sleep with someone right away, especially the first time you meet him, don't they lose respect for you and think of you as just a way to get off?

Yeah some people would think that but I am actually an adult and not small minded. Wouldn't you say then that he actually liked me - or why would he be wasting his time and money on someone who he had lost respect for...

[LifeChangesMan]

So, I'm reading this and I'm a little bit confused actually... what was the actual point of this thread? I just keep reading about, first time meeting unprotected sex and pregnancy, what advice do you need for this? Lol

Sorry, for being comical I suppose but, really?

[Krs]

yeh some people would think that but I am actually an adult and not small minded. Wouldnt you say then that he actually liked me - or why would he be wasting his time and money on someone who he had lost respect for....

Not to be harsh and blunt but I would see it this way :-

He is using his money and time on you because he knows he can get in your pants... and he knows he can get what he wants from you! Have you ever thought of that?

[plonak]

Ok no one has mentioned this because it was in her other thread titled "Am I pregnant?" from Mystery

So you think you're pregnant from the guy you talked about in this post..

But anyway, why are you having unprotected sex with a stranger? That is very irresponsible.. I just had to get it out there..

What YOU NEED to do is go get a pregnancy test and an STD test.. NOW..

This guy is using you hon, it's that simple. And now, you need to worry about yourself and deal with the consequenses of your careless actions.