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alidubi · Jul 24, 2006, 03:03 PM

Hi. I think I have issues. My baby is 3 months old, and she is my first. I don't work yet, but plan too sometime soon. My husband works, but gets a lot of time off. We are always home with the baby, one of us. We live on his parents property, close to their house. My parents are 30 minutes away, so all of our family is close by. Both of our moms want to babysit so bad, but I don't think I am ready yet. I wouldn't worry as much if she was with my parents, but I'm not as confident in mom-in-law. She has had 5 boys, the youngest is 7 yrs. I know she is a good mom, but to boys. We have a few rules when it comes to our baby. 1- don't kiss her on the lips. 2- do not snuggle in the bed with blankets! Those are the only rules and I think she won't follow them. She always says she is going to snuggle her and not tell my husband. He is paranoid like me, but doesn't think his mom will break the rules. She is a tough lady, and I have a hard time standing up to her. I want her to respect our rules and to follow them. How do I enforce them and still keep the peace, because we will still be living there for a few more months, and she is always going to be my mother in law. :eek: please help me!

diamond16 · Jul 24, 2006, 11:59 PM

Girl, I hate to say it but I think your right you do have issues. I am a single mom raising a 9 yr son. And If it's one thing I've learned It takes a village to raise a baby. In other words you need to stop with all these rules a baby needs the comfort and love from the whole family not just you and your husband. It should be fine to kiss the baby and If it's on the lips "Big Deal" or snuggling in bed with blankets. It sounds like you have some issues from your past that you need to deal with. Anyhow, If you can financially afford to stay home with your baby by all means do so. Take advantage of the situation cherish every moment with your new baby and let your mom in law be a grandma it sounds like she did just fine if you married her son. Learn to trust and let go of these silly rules we have enough rules as it is.;)

CaptainForest · Jul 25, 2006, 01:01 PM

If it is only for a few more months, continue the status quo.

Just say you are not ready to leave the baby with anyone else yet.

Chery · Jul 25, 2006, 01:37 PM

Unless you are afraid that the baby will be molested, or that the in-laws have a disease, what's the problem?

Was this rule initiated by you or your husband?

Some families don't get close, and don't even kiss their own children which is hard for me to understand - love should be shown and felt, not just assumed.

What are you really scared of? IF it is related to something in the past - work on it.
If it's because you fear kisses and closeness yourselves - work on it.

There will be a lot more things for you to 'protect' your child from in the future, but it does have to learn and experience love from parents and grandparents. Most children raised in a 'cold' family look for love at an early age and in the wrong place - think about it.

Good luck. I hope you get over your fears somehow.

Over-protecting is not a good thing either. We have to find a happy place in between. Happy Parenting!

Myth · Jul 25, 2006, 02:09 PM

I was really protective over my oldest daughter. I didn't let anyone touch her for months cause they couldn't do it right. My second anyone could touch... lol. Don't fear the germs we all have them. Any mom is still a mom raising boys or girls it doesn't matter. You can let her go for a few seconds and she isn't going to break. Don't baby that baby for too long or she will act like a baby forever. Go out on a date with your hubby, let your mil take the baby and trust that she will do everything right. Besides you have phones don't you.