[tearingapart]

Yesterday, I went out to my friends house for dinner.

My boyfriend went out to his friend graduation.

He got home earlier than me and tried calling me.

(iv previously told him to try calling twice and if I don't answer, ill most likely message telling him why)

So he called me twice, but I was having dinner. It was quite formal so I was unable to whip out my phone and answer or message.

Then when I got the chance, I looked at my messages, one was OK,

Him saying he hopes I'm having a good time doing whatever. But it was a little bit cold.

Then he sent a message saying like, you don't like it when I do this to you! Don't call me! Bye.

And he was really angry.

I messaged him saying I was really sorry and explained the situation, but I got no reply.

I went home as soon as I could.

I called him.

He didn't pick up, but I knew he was awake because he was talking to people online.

I called a few more times, begging him to pick up.

And I was crying when he eventually picked up.

He then treated me like a dog, things like saying "stop" every time I tried to speak.

But all I wanted was answers. I just wanted to know why he was so angry at me, even though he knew I was out.

I tried explaining to him that there was nothing I could have done to change the situation.

But it just upsets me how he expects me to drop everything for him all the time.

When no way in the world would he do that for me!

In fact, I would end up being the one apologising for bothering him.

I later found out he'd had a "bad" night with his parents and that he "needed" me, but I wasn't there for him.



I just want to know though, I really am confused, am I being unreasonable? :confused:
Or is he?

I need an outsiders perspective.

Pleeeease help:(

[starbuck8]

That is so totally unreasonable of him! I'm sorry to say this, but get rid of this guy or it's only going to get worse. He is quite obviously very controlling, and can't even leave you alone when having dinner, and then tries to blame his attitude on you!

You did the right thing with not answering your phone. That was the POLITE thing to do. He had "no right" to be angry with you. If he reacts this way when you are just out having a dinner, and leaves a message like that with his second call, he has got more issues than you think. He is insecure and controlling. It does NOT matter if he had a bad day. Does he expect you to be there and coddle him every time he has had a bad day? If so, you are in for the ride of your life if you stay with this guy.

Do yourself a favour. Stick up for yourself, and don't let him make you feel guilty. Get rid of him. You can do better than that.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

Definitely unreasonable...

So he had a bad night with his parents, how are you supposed to know that? And why should you be expected to run to his side for something like that. He's not a child... or is he?

Like starbuck said, you have to do something about this or it will get worse. While I won't necessarily say get rid of him, I will say that if you don't stand up to him the problem will persist and get worse. By running to him apologizing for these sorts of things you are just reinforcing this behavior and making him think its acceptable. DON'T apologize, and when he acts cold or gets mad just say you didn't do anything wrong and won't put up with this any longer. Be strong on this one, if he doesn't stop get out and find someone better.

[TrueFaith]

The guy is acting like a dink.

And he is using this to control you

Don't show him that this effects you

You tell him your reasons if he can't accept them. Done.

You did nothing wrong
And you don't need that from a person

All the best

[talaniman]

Did you tell him to use powder after he changes his diaper?? You should have the big baby!!

[Irishgirl]

What a child! People who put their own feelings above the people they are supposed to care about are usually emotionally immature. Sounds like he did everything but stamp his feet and threaten to hold his breathe! - my 3 year old nephews do that

[HistorianChick]

I'm trying to see his side in this... but I'm coming up with nothing.

A man shouldn't act like that... that's high school drama. He was having a rough night. We all have rough nights, but that doesn't excuse his irrational behavior.

Unfortunately, I agree with the above posters... you want a man for a mate, not an insecure teenager.

[kctiger]

Ask him if he wants some more frenchcries with his wa-burgers...

[classicford]

He was unreasonable but there is always 2 sides to every story. What really set him off? To what extent is he your boyfriend? Was your friend another guy? A friends graduation is a one time special, did he ask you to share that with him? If he's a jerk, drop him. If he's a keeper, find out what set him off.

[TrueFaith]

So did the guy ever talk to you again?

Any updates?

[tearingapart]

so did the guy ever talk to you again?

any updates?

Yes he did talk to me again, and everything seems to be OK now. It was our one year anniversary on Friday and yeah.

Things are all good now but I'm just worried that something new will pop up and set him off.

But thanks for everyone's help!!

[kctiger]

yes he did talk to me again, and everything seems to be ok now. it was our one year anniversary on friday and yeah.

things are all good now but im just worried that something new will pop up and set him off.
but thanks for everyone's help!!!

Hmm... seems like a recipe for disaster... if you ask me.