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    Girlygirlgirl21's Avatar
    Girlygirlgirl21 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 15, 2008, 12:09 PM
    I am 20 got married and have not told my mother
    I got married this August to my husband. We are and were excited that we got married and it was fun. After we got married he told hid parents and they were thrilled and welcomed me into the family. I have not told my mother yet and are scared. He has know my husband for a long time and likes him and knows how I feel towards hims. She has a different out look, she was never married and feels that if you want to marry you should have experienced all the men around you until you pick the right one. I just feel that if I tell her she will be so mad at me and not want to talk to me or tell me she will kick me out of the house and or stop paying my tuition for college. I know I have to tell her, but I am scared.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #2

    Dec 15, 2008, 12:17 PM

    Telling her is not going to change the fact that you ARE married.

    Just tell her. Invite her to a nice dinner and say, "Mom, ___ and I were married in August. We want you to be happy for us."

    That's all you can do. You are married. It would be better if you told her than if she heard from someone else.
    catsman_123's Avatar
    catsman_123 Posts: 15, Reputation: -2
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    #3

    Dec 15, 2008, 05:55 PM
    Just tell her, she will understand. Unless she is a horrible person, she will not disrupt your marriage.it will go all be fine if you just tell her. Good luck
    Hildie's Avatar
    Hildie Posts: 40, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Dec 16, 2008, 10:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Girlygirlgirl21 View Post
    I got married this august to my husband. We are and were excited that we got married and it was fun. After we got married he told hid parents and they were thrilled and welcomed me into the family. I have not told my mother yet and are scared. He has know my husband for a long time and likes him and knows how I feel towards hims. She has a different out look, she was never married and feels that if you want to marry you should have experianced all the men around you until you pick the right one. I just feel that if I tell her she will be so mad at me and not want to talk to me or tell me she will kick me out of the house and or stop paying my tuition for college. I know I have to tell her, but i am scared.
    You and only know your mother. You are a married woman now and responsible for your own financial needs. Your mother is within her rights to stop paying your tuition. She may be hurt that you got married and did not tell her. You should tell her, are you and your husband living together?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Dec 16, 2008, 01:48 PM

    I will be blunt, if you can not be mature and take responsibility for what you do, you were not old enough and mature enough to get married.

    You are acting childish pretending by not telling her, it is going to be OK. It is only going to be a lot worst the longer you wait.

    And being married should sound better than living together without being married to most mothers.

    And if you have your own family now, you made a choice, are you ashamed of your husband ?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #6

    Dec 16, 2008, 02:22 PM
    Do you still live at home? If your think your mother will kick you out the house then you might have to make other living arrangements. You should've thought about this before you got married.

    If your mom is paying for your college education she is going find out that your married especially when you fill out the forms for school and they asked if your married, you can't lie.

    You think your mom will stop paying for college? She might not have to continue paying for your education and eventual she will find out once you have to fill out the forms for school because you can't lie.

    Life is about choices and dealing with the choices we make. You made it so now you must come clean. You didn't do anything horrible.
    Hildie's Avatar
    Hildie Posts: 40, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Dec 16, 2008, 02:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    I will be blunt, if you can not be mature and take responsiblity for what you do, you were not old enough and mature enough to get married.

    You are acting childish pretending by not telling her, it is going to be ok. It is only going to be alot worst the longer you wait.

    And being married should sound better than living together without being married to most mothers.

    And if you have your own family now, you made a choice, are you ashamed of your husband ?
    I so agree with you. It's exactly what I wanted to say but did not know how my response would be taken.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #8

    Dec 16, 2008, 03:03 PM

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/weddin...er-292435.html

    Same poster, same question, same answers.

    You need to tell your Mom and be the adult that you've become.

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