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chisel1979 · Dec 16, 2008, 07:32 AM

I know this girl at work and I have spoken to her a few times over the past year and have taken quite a liking to her without her really knowing, anyway I told a mate at work who talks to her quite often to find out from her without being too obvious if she has a boyfriend. Anyway he said they spoke and he ended up telling her that I had the hots for her, has this blown my chances? I feel its going to be weird now when I talk to her cause she knows. Any advise?

kctiger · Dec 16, 2008, 07:34 AM

Ask her out... that is my advice. You never know until you find out. I think your friend should have been a bit more discrete about things, but nothing can be done now. Go for it.

HistorianChick · Dec 16, 2008, 07:35 AM

Not necessarily. Next time you see her take initiative. Say something like, "Hey there, so I hear that my friend told you that I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world!" She'll giggle a little bit, and then you ask her for coffee.

Tell her she is beautiful, not "hot" or "sexy," but beautiful, elegant, that type of thing.

Don't be embarrassed, take initiative. She knows you like her... take advantage of that! Be casual and ask her to join you for a cup of coffee or a bite to eat.

Best of luck!

chisel1979 · Dec 16, 2008, 07:36 AM

Sorry I forgot to add that a few weeks before my mate asked her I left a red rose on her car with a card saying "from an admirer". Now she is going to know who it was from which is going to make things even more weird.

HistorianChick · Dec 16, 2008, 07:40 AM

No, it doesn't screw it up. Just ask her! Bite that proverbial bullet and ask her for coffee. She already knows... just ask.

Just be casual and yourself. :)

N0help4u · Dec 16, 2008, 07:43 AM

I agree with H.C. just play off what he said. You can even jokingly tell her how your friend puts his own spin on words like hot for beautiful.

talaniman · Dec 16, 2008, 08:53 AM

How often do you see her at work? How old are you? Is dating permitted at your job? Work romances have a real down side and consequences, as does playing high school games.

What ever you do, do it yourself, and keep your business to yourself.

Anything you want to know is for you to find out, and that includes, if she is interested, or not.

jmw0713 · Dec 16, 2008, 09:38 AM

Yes. Be careful of the work romance... it can backfire on you, especially if you work for the same department or supervisor.

Besides that, your chance is not gone unless you don't act.

You will never know until you try!

chuff · Dec 16, 2008, 10:57 PM

Maybe it's me, but leaving a rose with a admirer note then getting a friend to find out if she has a boyfriend/tell her you have a crush on her is the exact opposite thing that is going to work for you. It comes off like you are to afraid to ask her out and if you are then she is just going to think you weak.

Now that being said, you have to act now, you can't wait any longer, next time you see her turn this around and say, "Bob (whatever your friends name is) told me you were pulling all kinds of information out of him about me. I'm a good guy you could have just asked me yourself." Say it confidently but in a joking tone and see what she says to that. If she says "I've got a boyfriend" then reply, "well you shouldn't be asking about me then" and keep it light. If she says, "it was the other way around, he was pulling information out of me" tell her, "I really like how you have turned this around to make yourself look good." Basically just play off this and turn it around as a joke and then once she's laughing or at least smiling hit her up for a lunch.

Lunch is something she can commit to, it's got a time limit and it doesn't force her to go all out for a yes or no answer. What I mean is she can say yes to lunch because it's got a time limit, where as a night out doesn't. Slow, easy steps.