[talaniman]

I appaud you and wish you well. You have made the right decision. In time it will get better,You'll see!

[Skell]

Keep staying strong. You can do it. Don't give in to him. Think of all the bad things about him. He is not worthy of you.
I hope you stay as strong as you seem to be now. It is inspiring to see how strong the human spirit can be at times. Many in your situation would not be!

[Chery]

Go and find all the available help you can. Try your church, a teacher at school, a social work center and even the police if necessary. He wants total control of you, and he'll try to get your parents on his side.

If you don't do something concrete about it right now, he will try to influence your entire life and stress you out.

And, by all means, keep in touch with us.

[valinors_sorrow]

Ughhhhh Val - I have heard so many stories like yours Val.....WHY are women so attracted to the bad boys who are abusers????...

I don't think this answer will sit well, but here goes. Its not nearly as obvious as that Wildcat. I think a lot goes on with people BELOW the threshold of awareness, partly because we live in such unaware states and partly because of how humans are deliberately put together psychologically.

I found for myself and many others that so long as my business about being abused remained "unfinished", it was like a big neon sign blinking on my forehead that said "If you've into that kind of crap, step right up please!" I was unconsciously inviting them into my life in order to recreate my original psycho-drama in the hopes of making it turn out differently this time-- and that just does not work. Remember what the professioal rapist has said about all the really subtle stuff he looks for the perfect victim and then amplify it in the subconsious-- it works like that.

Human behavior is both complex and subtle and we often don't look nearly closely enough to see that many times what we get we really ARE asking for... the sad part is we just don't REALISE we are.

Now as for the bad boy thing, that goes to how we see ourselves internally. Bad girls hook up with bad boys and vice versa -- the left hook is what we project into the world may be radically different than what we actually believe ourselves to be. That's called a "front" and it keeps us from being authentic, real, our true selves.

This is why I am so keen on both books and professional help -- the good ones can really plug us back into US, so the subtle stuff is, well, far more conscious and we then have more of an active choice in it. The less "front" the better, which may seem too vulnerable to some people but I can attest to them paying a huge price for having a front. I had one in the hopes that it would protect me from hurt but the really stupid thing about it was when you didn't like my front (false though it may be) I got my feelings hurt anyway LOL, so like Dr Phil likes to say, "How's that working for you??" LOL

Does that answer it for you?