[invisableme]

First off, my husband and I recently made it to 20 years, most were decent but 8 yrs ago we started our own business. Sounds good doesn't it, not really. We opened an auto repair shop and on the whole we work well together. But in the last year and half finances have been rough. He works very hard but having so many hats stresses him out constantly (we have 3 full-time employees). We don't really talk about anything after the work day is over. Well, I chose not totell him how much money was owed out, I tried to cover it in different ways, never planning on hurting him. Well, recently the IRS showed up looking for money in the neighborhood of $10,000. I was able to pay it. But the damaged that came from me lying is killing him. He's a very unhappy man and would like to get out. I never intended for things to get this bad but running your own business and trying to solve all problems is a strain and stuff gets shuffled to the back - stuff we hope we can fix in timely fashion before it blows up in your face. Now, there is nothing the fix and future looks bleak. My heart was always in the right place but apparently I have made bad decisions. Now, my past - pre 20 years is being thrown in my face, along with every mistake I have made in the last 20 years. I don't see any future but... if you can help me please do. This whole thing is killing me.

[twinkiedooter]

He is upset about being lied to about finances. I know it's hard to realize but it was 1/2 his business as well and he should have been involved with the daily finances from the start and not left out. Right now, he's probably venting. You somehow paid the IRS the money owed. You need to sit down and calmly speak with him and tell him that you are extremely sorry that you didn't involve him at the time and only did what you did as you were trying to ease his stress. He may or may not calm down in a week or so. But in the meantime just try to be your lovingest self and bear whatever he's venting for now.

[invisableme]

I am well aware that the burden of the finance should be his too. But in 8 yrs of business, if he took an interest he did not understand and would walk away. I once asked if we could go through finance once a week together and he said no. So... But the thing to note in this whole mess is the problem happen 2 months ago and he decided to work it out and this morning he woke up in a rotten mood and started go off about it all over again like it happened yesterday... I was blindsided, I thought we were trying... I was wrong... He made me sign a letter today that said he would pay money to remove myself from the marriage and the business. $50,000 is a not a lot for 20 yrs of marriage and 8 yrs in business. There is so much we did wrong. Starting a business with no real capital... building a garage (4 bays off credit cards and credit lines because we - he was in a hurry) I originally was against the business when it happened I gave it my all... We weren't ready to build but I gave my all - I have always supported him when push came to shove. I was not always honest because the burden was large and to give up was not an option. I juggled for the full 8 yrs till it caught up to me and now I'm being pushed out. It took both of us to make this mess.

[450donn]

Suggest marriage counseling and business finance counseling. If he is unwilling then I see no other options except to walk away from him and the mess.