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dmkas87 · Dec 13, 2008, 12:49 PM

My boyfriend has no custody of his daughter, "Kay". He has recognition of parentage, but that's it. In Minnesota, he only has the right to pay child support. However, his daughter is living with her mother and her mothers boyfriend. This "boyfriend" isn't allowed to have custody of his own son . We did a criminal background search on him and it turns out he used to abuse his son. He has assault and harassment, stalking, etc charges filed by other people againt him as well. Seems pretty violent. Is the mother of the child guilty of endangerment by allowing the child to live with a known child abuser?

We don't get to see Kay much, but when we see her, she reports abuse from days to a week before we see her. So how do we go about reporting it?
In Minnesota, I believe you have either 48 or 72 hours to report abuse. But what if it happened a week later? She complains that he closes his fists and pounds on her thigh when she's "loud", leaving bruises. She complains he pulls her by her hair also.

Kay, her mother, and her mothers boyfriend live in another county, causing a little more paperwork.

Any direction or advice would be good.

twinkiedooter · Dec 13, 2008, 01:14 PM

Contact Children's Services and discuss this with them in the city she lives in and see if they can help. No little girl deserves to be treated like that. My heart goes out to her. Take photos of any bruising whether it is new or old and write down what she says happened to her. She needs to be protected from that abuser.

dmkas87 · Dec 13, 2008, 01:24 PM

She tells us "my mommy said if i tell anyone i'll never get to see her again."

I'm just afraid if children's services contacts the mom, it will piss her off and we won't be allowed to see kay anymore, since he doesn't have rights to her.

cdad · Dec 13, 2008, 08:49 PM

Originally Posted by dmkas87

She tells us "my mommy said if i tell anyone i'll never get to see her again."

I'm just afraid if childrens services contacts the mom, it will piss her off and we wont be allowed to see kay anymore, since he doesnt have rights to her.

Then its time to go to court and get custody / visitation established. He needs to see her on a reguler basis and that way a week won't ever go by. Another thing is for him to ask at the hearing for a parental evaluation. That way they would look into his background also because of significant contact.

stevetcg · Dec 14, 2008, 06:25 AM

Originally Posted by dmkas87

She tells us "my mommy said if i tell anyone i'll never get to see her again."

I'm just afraid if childrens services contacts the mom, it will piss her off and we wont be allowed to see kay anymore, since he doesnt have rights to her.

Good. I hope it pisses her off. She has an obligation, both legal and moral to protect that child and if having Kay taken away from her is the only way for her to meet that obligation, well, sucks for mom.

If your boyfriend has to pay child support, the visitation can be made so that its not at the discretion of the mother.

Like the others have said... have him get into court and get legal visitation or even better, shared custody. Then what pisses mom off might make her see what she is doing to her daughter.

JudyKayTee · Dec 14, 2008, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by dmkas87

She tells us "my mommy said if i tell anyone i'll never get to see her again."

I'm just afraid if childrens services contacts the mom, it will piss her off and we wont be allowed to see kay anymore, since he doesnt have rights to her.

If this child is in danger you have a duty to report the danger, whatever the cost - I think it's as simple as that.

And your boyfriend needs to file in Court for visitation and custody.