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satswid · Dec 10, 2008, 11:37 AM

Sorry for that comment. But it was just to show you that we cannot generalise anything without proper knowledge.

kctiger · Dec 10, 2008, 11:39 AM

I never generalized anything. I am speaking and giving my advice off general knowledge and experience of my own or of people I know. It is the job of people who give advice on this forum to help others and as much as possible, to protect them from getting hurt. I call it like I see it... however that is why I tell people not to take offense, as it is MY OPINION, and nothing more. That and a buck will get you a cup of coffee.

satswid · Dec 10, 2008, 11:45 AM

Thanks for your advice. But let me tell u something before that
Just a few minutes back you said
"I am talking about character in general. It is the same for everyone"
And now you say "I never generalized anything.".
Maybe you need that advice much more than I do,
Thanks

kctiger · Dec 10, 2008, 11:50 AM

You said I was generalizing when I referred to people jumping from relationship to relationship were whores, not when I said the character comment. Character is the same for everyone... I guess I should make it clear for your brain to comprehend: Character is about morality and right and wrong, in which case you can generalize that to the ENTIRE HUMAN race!

So, for example:

Generally, anyone who has negative feedback on this board gives extremely poor advice and clearly needs to re-evaluate their position on things. (Generalization that may not be fair of users such as yourself)

Generally, anyone who cheats or jumps from relationship to relationship has poor character (Generalization that is pretty true)

Get it now?

satswid · Dec 10, 2008, 12:00 PM

Ok, I agree with u on that. But will it be good for him to just reject her before even knowing her character and just because the world says so?

Romefalls19 · Dec 10, 2008, 12:01 PM

I have to spread the rep but KC is right. People who jump from relationship to relationship are what we call "rebounders" they do this to avoid dealing with the pain and rarely do those relationships work out because they are carrying emotional baggage from another relationship into the next one.

kctiger · Dec 10, 2008, 12:02 PM

She is cheating on her current boyfriend! I don't know why you don't see that. That is my issue with this entire situation.

satswid · Dec 10, 2008, 12:05 PM

I know she is cheating with her current boyfriend and it can be due to her nature and character, but it can also be a case that her boyfriend deserves it

Romefalls19 · Dec 10, 2008, 12:07 PM

Nobody ever deserves to be cheated on! Just end the relationship before you cheat, never stoop to someone else's level

kctiger · Dec 10, 2008, 12:09 PM

Two wrongs = right... wait a minute, no... that's not right!

satswid · Dec 10, 2008, 12:13 PM

And maybe the reason for their splitting could be a mutual decision. Thenk where's the question of cheating?

kctiger · Dec 10, 2008, 12:17 PM

How old are you? If she has been seeing this guy (the OP) and has an obvious connection with him enough to break up with her current boyfriend, then she is cheating...

satswid · Dec 10, 2008, 12:22 PM

I said it could be a mutual decision, means may be both of them have intentions for the breakup, and if they both decide to break up, no one is cheated, all three characters are safe.
Having said that, I also agree that I am supporting someone I don't even know, I know I could be wrong as I cannot judge anyone like this, but even other people cannot oppose her and decide something against her character without having sufficient knowledge.

kctiger · Dec 10, 2008, 12:24 PM

I have sufficient knowledge because I have seen the other posts the OP has posted regarding this topic. Have you read the other threads he has started?

talaniman · Dec 10, 2008, 01:57 PM

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Your right KC, the OP is still fresh from his long term relationship break up, as will be the new girl in a few weeks, after Christmas, and New Years, more than likely, and even if both have good characters, its still a rebound relationship for them both, and I really doubt if either of them is emotionally ready for a relationship at this time.

Dating as friends maybe, but waiting for someone to be available is a red flag in my book.

At some point you have to give yourself some healing time, not just jump from relationship to relationship. That's fair to no one.

I would think twice before getting involved with any one, fresh from a break up, just me.

Mac Lovin · Jan 22, 2009, 02:47 AM

****5 threads merged into one story, please read the whole thing *****

Ok just got back with my girlfriend of 4 years and I'm delighted, we were off 10 weeks and it was the worst period of my life were everything suffered... now she says that she wants to go on a girls holiday to the sun... I told her that I don't mind her going away for weekends shopping and stuff but I do have an issue with her going away on a sun holiday with girls whom most are single as these arnt things you do when you are in a relationship?

Advice please?

starbuck8 · Jan 22, 2009, 03:28 AM

There is obviously not much trust in your relationship. If there was, you would have no problem with her going on a vacation with her friends. If you can't trust her, you aren't communicating, and your relationship is bound to fail again. There is nothing wrong with a group of friends, male or female, going on a vacation. What is wrong, is that you don't trust her to do that. You are setting yourself up if you tell her she can't or shouldn't go.

zeeniee · Jan 22, 2009, 04:20 AM

I agree with STARBUCK totally on this one. Trust is one of the most imortant things you need in a relationship.

If you really want this to work, you should start trusting her and tell her to go and enjoy herself with her friends- just because your in a relatonship, does not mean you can't enjoy time with friends.

Perhaps you can have a nice chat with her, and offer your support and maybe she will respect you trusting her- you never know she may even get you a nice present from her hoilday trip!

If you can't trust her- then you should not be in a relationship with her- best to let her go and let her be free. It is the kindest thing you can do.

talaniman · Jan 22, 2009, 11:03 AM

Let her go, what's the big deal??

kctiger · Jan 22, 2009, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by Mac Lovin

****5 threads merged into one story, please read the whole thing *****

these arnt things you do when you are in a relationship?

Advice please?

My man, you are in for a rude awakening if you think you can control the actions of your girlfriend, especially if it is a "girls" weekend. Quit acting like a child and let her go do her thing. My ex went to VEGAS for crying out loud, and she was the only one who had a boyfriend at the time, the rest of her girls were single. Do you think I would have come in between that? NO! Pick your fights wisely, and learn to temper your trust issues. Let the girl go do her thing, and you should also be able to enjoy a "man" weekend while she is gone...

Carry on... :cool: