[hatsumi]

I have been in a four month relationship with a boy. This weekend he told me he thought he was falling in love with me. The next night he was really drunk and we got talking and I asked him if he had ever kissed another guy. He said he had, about two years ago when he was twenty one. He said he was just experimenting and he is not interested in men in that way. However he did say at the time he enjoyed it. One of his best friends is gay and his step sister is bi - sexual. Is it normal for some men to experiment with out meaning they're gay?

[Synnen]

If he says he's not gay, you have to believe him or leave.

Period.

If you let this eat at you, it will destroy your relationship. If you don't believe him, then leave. Nothing is going to convince you anyway.

There are 2 ways to determine whether someone is gay.

1. They tell you they are gay
2. You walk in on them having sex with someone the same sex they are.

Anything else is just conjecture, and isn't going to help anyone.

[Skyrocket Away]

Sweetie, I would do a little more digging with him. I have been in this situation and it is NOT fun when they leave you for a man. I was in a 3 year long relationship and he broke up with me on valentines day using the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" excuse and then saying he was 100% gay. And I had found out that he had been talking to numerous guys during our relationship. And believe me, this kind of thing does serious scaring to your mental and emotional level when it comes to future relationships. So, I advise you to find out as much as possible, before continuing to get serious. Try asking him when he's completely sober, and then maybe try again when he's drunk. People seem to losen up when they're drunk. But don't do it in a threatening way, just make it sound as if your curious.

Goodluck! (:

[neverme]

Synnen is right.

If he says he's not gay he's not.

You have to trust him, if you lose that, you may as well walk away right then because you will eventually.

[N0help4u]

It use to not be normal for guys to 'experiment' with same sex stuff but it is starting to be considered 'normal'. If he hasn't done anything with a guy in two years it probably was curiosity.
He is with you so let it go at that. I doubt that what he did with a guy two years ago would have any more bearing than what he did with a girl two years ago. Chalk it up to curiosity

[chrissymarie]

I think he's gay. Men don't experiment. Attraction to another person comes naturally and if at the time he was attracted to another man and "kissed" him. He's definitely gay or bisexual. But if he loves you and wants to be with you and only you there's no issue then. Leave the past in the past. But what he did back when he was 20 is GAY.

[N0help4u]

''Real men'' don't experiment but kids are being taught the political correct moral relativism it is only natural to explore and experiment to see if it might be for you.

[chrissymarie]

Straight men know they are straight. There is no need to experiment.

[N0help4u]

I agree but some kids are confused with the mixed messages that many adults and media and so forth push.
He could have done this and then known it wasn't for him.

[chrissymarie]

He could have done this and then known it wasn't for him.

But that's not what happened. He said he enjoyed it at the time? He seems GAY to me. I'd dump him. I'd be too scared to get years into our relationship and then have him leave for a man... but that's just me.

[N0help4u]

He could be bi-sexual and decided he prefers to be with a girl rather than a guy.
A girl can be with a guy for years and he leaves you for another girl as well but you can't live your life on what-if's

[Starbucks21]

He could be...

A bi

B drunk and stupid college student stuff which we all did

C lying to you to and keeping up appearances with his family

You have to choose what you want to think though and how you want to deal with it