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    lindapritchard's Avatar
    lindapritchard Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Dec 6, 2008, 09:24 PM
    Am I a bad mother
    My son always lied to me about everything. He moved out last week at the age of 20 years old. He moved in with his girlfriend who is 18 years old and her family.

    My son was living with me rent free until he finish college. Since he meet this girl 4 months ago he has been boucing checks, over ran his credit card, and pay his bill late. He also talks down to me like any word I say means nothing. He treats his family like we are not good enough for him.

    When he moved out he snuck is stuff in his car without telling anyone. I called his girlfriend and she said he moving in with her because I yell himall the time and belittle him and her family treats him better.

    I am not upset that he moved out just how he did it. I have also did everything for my kids I wanted them to succeed. My heart is so broken it hard to function.
    bored987's Avatar
    bored987 Posts: 25, Reputation: 0
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    #2

    Dec 7, 2008, 12:12 AM

    You said tat he talks down to you and treats his family like they are not good enough for him, has he always done this or has he just been like that since he met his girlfriend?
    lindapritchard's Avatar
    lindapritchard Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #3

    Dec 7, 2008, 05:15 AM
    He has done this before. But resently its been bad. His girl friend lives with her father only he has never given her any rules and she has always been able to do whatever she wants. Including when my son use to go to her house (before he move in) he would go in her bedroom with her and lock the door. I had trouble understanding how a father would ever alow his daugther to do this.
    kimsland's Avatar
    kimsland Posts: 73, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Dec 7, 2008, 05:50 AM
    Wait

    It may take time, but just wait.
    No more fuel to this fire, otherwise you may have more problems down the line, when a family eventuates (usual occurrence of boyfriend a girlfriend living together!)

    Patience. If you were good to him when he was growing up (as you know it) then wait for his return
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #5

    Dec 7, 2008, 08:00 AM

    Keep to the high road and he will most likely figure out how good he actually had it. Let him know you love him and are there for him (although don't become a bank or rescuer for him). You can offer suggestions, when he asks for them, but don't bail him out completely. He is still learning many of life's lessons and they are often learned best from one's own mistakes.
    bored987's Avatar
    bored987 Posts: 25, Reputation: 0
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    #6

    Dec 7, 2008, 10:39 AM

    Let me just say that you are not a bad mother, it sounds like his behavior might have something to do with his girlfriend I agree you should just wait and see if anything changes
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #7

    Dec 7, 2008, 12:10 PM

    From what you said nothing here makes you a bad mother.
    He sounds like he may have some anger/resentment toward you and acting out but don't take the guilt he is trying to put on you.
    He could be trying to make you feel bad so that he doesn't feel bad.
    Guys and kids will do that often.
    You need to accept that you did the best you could and he is not handling things maturely. As bored said his girlfriend could also be influencing him to behave the way he is.
    Ask him why he is doing these things and ask him if he is holding anything against you.
    lindapritchard's Avatar
    lindapritchard Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Dec 7, 2008, 01:59 PM

    I want to thank everyone, because I really need to heard this. Thanks again
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