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biggdawg234 · Dec 4, 2008, 08:18 PM

Um, I',m kind of on the negative side of this question but, is it okay to, for lack of a better term, "take" someone from their current boyfriend? I ask because I like someone who is dating someone but I like them as well. What should I do? :confused:

starfirefly · Dec 4, 2008, 08:29 PM

Is it worth it to lose your friend , its up to you but I think taking away a friends girl is harsh and wrong

kimsland · Dec 4, 2008, 08:31 PM

I just want to be totally clear to you here

It's not possible to take someone's girlfriend

Unless of course that girl actually wants to be with you

And another one solved :)

Oh what to do?
Well if she likes you, maybe tell her how you feel

If she doesn't give you any sign
Hmm, maybe let it be.

lavenderly · Dec 4, 2008, 08:55 PM

I know how it feels to love someone but that someone is in a relationship with another person, worse still, if the other person is your friend.

You wish you could take action, or rather she would show you some signs that she is interested. But how would she be interested unless:
a) she is no longer in love with her boyfriend
b) you show her how interested you are in her
c) her boyfriend shows no more interest in her
d) she is a risk taker and shamelessly flirts with you?

Either of the above seems to be not within your control, except for option b).

However, given that you know her boyfriend as well, and you are not too sure whether you should ruin a friendship for a gal, and you are afraid to be seen negatively by the gal just in case she hates what you are doing, then option b) is really a no-go.

What I suggest you do is... do not give up too easily despite others telling you that it is wrong to take another person's girlfriend (the gal could be secretly wishing someone more special would appear in her life).

Strive for what you want or you will live to regret that you've never tried. Here is what you may do:

- Be a normal friend to this gal
- Have fun with her if she allows you to join on occasions
- BUT... DO NOT OVERDO IT! Just do what a platonic friend would do
- If she is comfortable chatting with you, let her know that she can talk to you about anything at anytime

-If, and this is a big IF, she confides in you that she is not happy in the relationship, then try to be as neutral as possible and give her advice and support
- After all, LOVING SOMEONE MEANS ALLOWING HER TO MAKE HER OWN CHOICE AND GIVE HER YOUR BLESSINGS
- If she tells you that she is unsure whether to break up... THEN... here is when you can make your move to show real interest in her and makes sure she sees it

- If she is no longer attracted to the man she has, then she will pay you attention
- Remember, you cannot steal a gal away from a man. You can only open the doors for HER TO WALK TO YOU. No pushing or pulling by force allowed. If you do so, you will live in guilt for the rest of your life.

Good luck, biggdawg234.

kimsland · Dec 4, 2008, 09:01 PM

Hmm a little bit scheming, but it'll work :D

Anyway, it's probably blatantly obvious already!

moomeacow · Dec 4, 2008, 09:06 PM

Think of it this way if she leaves her boyfriend for you, what makes you think she won't do the same to yoU?

kimsland · Dec 4, 2008, 09:19 PM

No you can't think of the end
Just the start :)

Good luck with keeping your friend though ;)

Kati-Katt · Dec 4, 2008, 09:24 PM

Decide if your friend is worth losing over a guy, if no then I would play the waiting game where you wait a long time and eventually end up with the person in the end when your friend won't care,

talaniman · Dec 4, 2008, 10:01 PM

You can try, and if it works you'll be the lowdown dirty backstabbing MF, who stole from a friend.

If it doesn't work, you'll be the lowdown dirty backstabbing MF who tried to steal from a friend.

Either way, you'll be a lowdown dirty MF.

Best keep it to yourself, and stay within the boundaries of good behavior.

biggdawg234 · Mar 1, 2009, 06:55 PM

Originally Posted by biggdawg234

Um, I',m kinda on the negitive side of this question but, is it okay to, for lack of a better term, "take" someone from their current boyfriend? I ask because I like someone who is dating someone but I like them as well. What should I do? :confused:

My bad... I meant that I like a girl who is in a relationship with a guy that I don't know... sorry. Should've clarified that earlier...

neverme · Mar 1, 2009, 07:06 PM

Oh well its OK to over someone you don't know... never mind!

Off you go... tra la la la la!

You know its wrong and a good relationship doesn't start this way!

Best of Luck with that, karma's a b*tch by the way and has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it..

I wish · Mar 1, 2009, 07:20 PM

Here's another possible theory, but it only happens very rarely. If a girl is willing to dumnp her boyfriend to be with you, then her relationship with her ex must have been unstable.

If a relationship was stable, you wouldn't be able to "steal" her away. So in the future, if you end up together, yes, there is a chance that she will leave you for another guy, but only if you two are unstable.

But like I said, this is rare, because if she can leave once, she can do it again. And the more times she does it, the easier it gets...

I also think that if the girl or guy can easily break up with their significant other to be with the new person, then that means their relationship was not that strong in the first place.

It does not matter if other people like your boyfriend or girlfriend... if you two are committed, then no one can stand in your way.

So I don't know if the word "stealing" applies. It's more like... you "plucked" someone out of a fragile relationship, hoping to build a stronger one...

jmw0713 · Mar 2, 2009, 08:58 AM

Just remember this thread when she dumps you and some guy you don't know "steals" her from you!

Past decisions, many times, guide future behavior. In other words, "What goes around comes around."

I suggest staying on the straight and narrow path right now and don't get involved.

jmw0713 · Mar 2, 2009, 10:07 AM

Yea, but then she will always suffer from the grass is greener syndrome. She won't let her self heal from any of her past relationships, therefore she will always be searching for that one thing in each consecutive relationship and depending on others to make her happy and to forgive the mistakes. Every time she will think she has found it, until some other guy tickles her fancy and she sees what she thinks she wants in them.

The point is, until the girl is by herself and single for a period to find that inner happiness and determine what she wants in a partner and out of a relationship, she will just continue to leap frog from one person searching endlessly for that happiness and what she thinks she wants at that time, not what knows she wants.

She will never know what she has in a partner until she knows herself. The only way to do that is to learn depend on herself, her feelings, her decision making, and her spirit/happiness. The only way for someone to find that, is to live life on their own and fully heal from the past.

Who wants to be a rebound anyway? That's a hard way to date.

Romefalls19 · Mar 6, 2009, 09:06 AM

OK two things can happen here, you can attempt this and fail, epically and been know, as Tal said, the low down dirty MF who tried and FAILED to take a girl.

Or, you could do this and accomplish this, be known as the low down dirty MF who took someone else's girl and then in a few months you come back to the forum crying about how a guy stole your girlfriend and how can someone do that.

kctiger · Mar 6, 2009, 09:18 AM

Or, you could be known as the creeper who tried to take a girl, and got his nose punched in by the guy she is dating... :cool:

HistorianChick · Mar 6, 2009, 09:25 AM

Is it right to steal? Ever? Nope. And more often than not, there is a serious punishment - jail time, community service, hand cut off in Persia...

Why do people think it is OK to go after someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend??

Put yourself in the boyfriend's shoes. How would YOU feel?

Look at the purple rule in my signature. It is the best way to live.

I wish · Mar 6, 2009, 10:42 AM

Stealing is bad... as Rome, Kctiger and Historian have pointed out... but...

... sometimes we can't help our feelings and it sucks big time to be in that kind of a situation. Obviously, from a third person's objective point of view, the best and more logical solution is the avoid these types of situations... pull out... give up... move on, etc.

But sometimes it's easier said than done.

UnluckyDucky · Mar 6, 2009, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by I wish

Stealing is bad... as Rome, Kctiger and Historian have pointed out ... but ...

... sometimes we can't help our feelings and it sucks big time to be in that kind of a situation. Obviously, from a third person's objective point of view, the best and more logical solution is the avoid these types of situations... pull out... give up... move on, etc.

But sometimes it's easier said than done.

Easier said than done? Many things in life are like that - that is just an excuse. If everyone gave into their every desire they had there would be pure chaos in this world.

Besides. Who said doing the right thing was easy?

Anyway, my two cents to this post - going after another man's girl = uncool. I don't hit on married women and those women with boyfriends for that reason... but, I can't say I'm innocent of just being myself and naturally attracting a girl from their boyfriend in the past. I know - bad Ducky, bad.