[kitten420]

Here is my situation. I wrote a forum on here a while back in October about my boyfriend and my best friend. Basically my boyfriend was saying that my best friend was bad news and that She shouldn't live with us and I should kick her out. Well after all that drama me and my boyfriend decided to give her a chance to get a job and be responsible and pay rent with us and everything.


Well she got a job and a low paying one with bad hours. But anything would do so I was very happy she was pulling through. Well its me my sister and her baby and my boyfriend and sarah we all had an agreement to pay 235 a month on rent and houshold needs. Everything was working out perfectly.

My best friend got her first paycheck it was 80 dollars we told her she can keep it since it was her first check and she didn't get paid that much. The next time she got paid rent was late and she only gave me 50 dollars. She claimed they didn't give her a lot of hours.
So I told her that she needs to ask for more or take hours from a co worker. She told me that nobody would do that so I said OK well your going to have to save up all your money and pay rent first then you can spend it. Se said OK.

WELL the next time she got paid she got another 50 dollar check or so she so called said she did. I asked her if she wanted me to save it for her for when rent was due so she didn't have to soend it on crap. She insisted no and that she would pay me. I said OK that is fine. WELL she ended up spending that check on alcohol and new boots without my knowledge and lied to my sister and said I knew she spent it when I didn't and I was in the hospital for a few days so I had no idea what was going on.

So I come home and rent was due in a couple days my sister and my boyfriend already paid me the money So I asked Sarah and she told me that she had spent it on that. I was very angry with her and we argued a little bit but she reassured me that her next check would be like 100 bucks so I was like OK just pay me that when you get paid and It will be OK but you still owe me the rest of the money.

She said OK and went to her dads for thanks giving. SHe called me on Friday and told me that her check was only 60 bucks she then said she was going to give that to me on Sunday and once again I was angry with her because she had lied to me but I reasured her she had to pay me the money back! She said OK. So Sunday comes around I Hear nothing from Sarah. I get no phone call , no messege , I get nothing.

I also sure wasn't about to call her because I am not her father and it is not my job to be responsible for her actions so I was simply testing her to see if she was going to be responsible or not. WELL today is Wedsday and I still have gotten no reply from Sarah what so ever. Well I was takign a nap because I was tired and while I was sleeping my sister told me that Sarah came in the house and got all her and my sister asked her what she was doing and she replied saying that she was going to do her laundry and she would be back on Saturday.

So hannah asked her if she was moving out and while sarah was loading up her bedroom mirror she told hannah my sister that she was not sure what she was doing yet. Then she left and my sister woke me up and told me. I am soooo pissed off at her I feel as if she had stabbed me in my back. My boyfriend was right all along I should have kicked her out when he told me to. I am just not sure if I should conintue my friendship with someone so irresponsible and that has no respect. I was helping her out this whole time and she just stabbed me in my back. What should I do? Should I continue my friendship with her and just not financially trust her... or should I just brush her off my shoulder?

[Justwantfair]

I think for the time being you should give the relationship a break, she is being very selfish and she has damaged your friendship.

I would let her do her own thing. Learn from this experience and work on staying on top of the bills with the three of you.

[kitten420]

I agree I am just sooo angry at her I feel so betrayed. She has been my best friend for 7 years. I would never expect her to flake out on me like this I feel as if I have been mis judging her this whole time! I am always helping her out and doing nice things for her for her b-day I bought her an 80 dollar tattoo. And on my b-day she forgot it. The thing is though I have fought with my boyfriend for her to live with us and he knew it was a bad idea but I reassured him Sarah wasn't like that and now I have no Idea how she is! It makes me wonder what else has she used me for since she can't even man up and give me a phone call. And I am always helping her out.

[artlady]

This seems like a one sided friendship.
I would certainly tell her how you feel and then distance yourself from her until she makes good on what she owes you.
I am sure along with your anger you are hurt by her selfishness.
She needs to know that doing this to people is unacceptable and you will not accept it.
If you just up and forgive her without any consequences on her part she will do it again and again.Maybe not to you but to others.
Like the old saying goes*with friends like her you don't need enemies*
Best of luck!

[kitten420]

I agree but how do I know she won't do this to me again

[artlady]

There are no guarantees in friendship or in love and I would say the best indicator of what a person is going to do is to look at what they have done in the past.
Best of luck!

[liz28]

Wow, Kitten I remember your other thread and I gave you advice on it as well.

You never know someone until you live with them and sometimes having a friend as an roommate can kill a friendship. It seems like this friend had no intentions on paying you and she basically used you and only caused problems between you and your boyfriend but I glad your worked it out.

I had a friend simliar to yours and I must say were no longer friends. When she lived with me I saw a side of her I never seen and it wasn't pretty.

The saying goes "you live and you learn" so if anything you learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes you can't help nor trust no one even if it is your friend. Even when you two start back talking the friendship will never be the same but at least you saw her true colors.

[kitten420]

I am just so happy that I could actually get to see the real side of her and I thnk god I went with my gut feelings before and didn't choose her over my boyfriend whoom might I add love more than anything in the world and our relationship is amazing its like we are connected at the hip lol

[kitten420]

I know it will be a long time before I can trust her again and probably a long time before I even talk to her as well. Its amazing how the one person whoom you thinku are so close to and have been there thruough thick and thin can betray you and be so irresponsible and disrespecful towards u.

[Justwantfair]

It is a very difficult thing but there are a lot of friendships ruined by living together. Whether it be lifestyles or financial accountability most people are not on the same page. My grandmother once told me... "Don't live with someone you don't love" and I still don't believe that is enough. I lost a best friend also by living with them. Time will mend this loss and someday along the line you may find that you will be friends again. You just weren't meant to live with this person.

Good luck.

[friend4u178]

i agree but how do i kno she wont do this to me again

You found out who the real her was , so don't let her use you again.

Consider it one of lifes little lessons :)

[kitten420]

I already have thanks friend lol

[kimsland]

kitten420

Now I know you're smart and all
But something went wrong here, I suppose we all make mistakes, so be it.

But guess what?

You're wrong, and so is that reply
Friends and money don't mix (obviously)
And therefore you cannot base your friendship on any money issues (seemingly right or wrong)

Are you saying that if she won a million dollars, (and gave you half) that then she'll be your friend again? Now that would be sad :(

So unless you have some other reason (more than likely)
Then she is still your friend.
Maybe apologize to her lol But I do mean it

The money issue did not break any trust
It just caused you both to stop talking
I'd say call her right now, and say hey, I just woke up. Sorry :o

[kitten420]

It has nothing to do with money. It's the fact that she said she was going to do something but insead of following her plan she lied to me and totally betrayed my trust. She was someone I thought I could rely on and trust and she was supposed to be my best friend for 7 years and just like everyone else in my household she had rules to follow and after giving her a million chances she still decided to screw me over. Yea what a freidn she is for not pulling through on her word and in the end I get no phone call what's so ever on what's going on with her. I am Sarahs best friend I am not her mom and I am not her dad I am not going to take care of her. If I was to take care of anyone it would be myself! Not to mention I got laid off on my job and I haven't been to work in two weeks and she has been working and she decideds she wants to buy boots and alcohol with her rent money. And its funny because I got my rent paid and I am laid off from my job and I can still handle my money!

[kimsland]

Ah huh hmm

Well I've read it twice ;)

Now, please get your friend back, if there's still time

[kimsland]

Go !

And I'm signing off I'll check out how you went in about 5 Hrs

P.S. Go and ring her. Or go there and make up!

Go Go Go

[kitten420]

That I'm not being friends with her and I don't have to apologize I am just not talking to her for a long time until she apologizes to me! I did nothing wrong and honestly she is lucky I don't throw all her stuff out my door!! What she did was wrong and very irresponsible. ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? Like honestly if you think that what she did was OK after I already gave her plenty of chances then you have some issues! But you know what I am not going to be mad at you because that is your opinion and this website is all about opinions. So I will take in your advice and in the end I will use my knowledge and know what's best for ME.

[BlackVY]

Yeah.. I don't think what your friend did was right... trust is important in a friendship as well as a relationship... if someone can't keep their word, then what kind of person are they? I don't think you need friends like that... Sorry to say it and I know it sux after a 7 year friendship, but its time to let go...

[friend4u178]

I agree kitten... SHE needs to apologise to You!!

[kimsland]

I came back early!

Thanks for your respect in others point of view
Unless you are not saying something, I really don't understand the issue here

You should call her, in my honest opinion
But not to attack.
Hopefully she apologizes to keep (or get back) the relationship

What else has happened..