[blondndisguise5]

I am a freshman in college and my first love of 3 years high school sweetheart first fror everything, has broken up with me to date another girl on the premise that "he has been with me for so long he needs to figure out himself either by himself or with someone else and while he sees being with me in the future he needs to grow and mature so he can KNOW that i am the one" basically he has had a lot of serious relationships before me he is a relationship guy but most end after less then a year. Besides me. So here is what I have done:

1. I begged him to come back and expressed my undying love for him (shot down obviously)
2. I asked him to keep in mind our future and we said we would I chat once a week
3. I came to terms called him and told him he and I were on the same page and that while my heart was shattered and while I still felt like we were meant to be I love him enough to realize I got to let him go and move on (he said he was so happy to hear this)

--------- now here is what I am doing:

1. I agreed to be friends but I decided not to contact him on a regular basis so basically I am going no contact unless he contacts first?
2. I am not going on his Facebook or enquiring what he is doing
3. I am reaching out to close friends, and my mom to help talk about it, cuddle with , ease that pain instead of looking to other boys
4. I am going out with friends really trying to bond with friends and strengthen relationships and in general just keeping myself busy (as well as starting to workout, focus on school)
5. I am looking to the future and signing up for a internship, looking into studying abroad
6. I am taking time to myself and embracing the pain
7. I am fighting the urge to win him back...
8. I am trying to take care of myself (haven really eaten but I am concentrating on sleep/staying active right now)

First... is there anything else I can do? Anything I shouldn't be doing?

Next, christmas break is coming up and he will be home and we share the same group of close friends from high school all who know us as "todd and laura." there will not be any way to really avoid him so. Any tips on how to deal with this holiday season? Should I be disconnectedly happy to see him? Try to get alone time? Anyone been through this before?

Oh and another thing... his parents and I are pretty close should I try and keep up some semblance of relations with them or cut it off?

Thanks everyone :)

[TrueFaith]

Hey there :)

Good job! You are starting with a strong head. Which is all you need!

I would say you should probable break of contact with the mom and dad.
I mean in the end it will only cause you more pain and put into things.. you really don't want to be.

Right now you want to do damage control
Which means cut all contact and the longer you go without contact the better you will feel

As for things and tips.
Just keep on doing what you are doing
Attack everyday
With the feeling that. I'm going to get past this day and I'm going to try and think about him a bit less

Good luck :)

[JohnD212]

Sounds like you're doing it pretty all correct. Just keep on keeping on. Share your advice if you can when necessary... some of us don't make such good strides as you are... and often make bad decisions.

Wish I were smart like you... hehe... Cheers and good luck!

[blondndisguise5]

Thanks for the support guys! It means a lot when you guys comment

Id like to hear more about what you guys think I should do though about christmas break...

[kctiger]

Here is my advice, clear as day. My ex got a 'boyfriend' or whatever you call him about three weeks or so after we broke up from a 4 1/2 year relationship. My immediate thought, besides extreme sadness, was , "I am going to win her back!" That is garbage. I am too good for that, and if anything, she needs to be winning me back. If your ex left you for another girl, don't EVER try and win him back. Who is he to have you begging for him to come back?? You are way too good for that. The best thing you can do, as you are already doing it, is to make yourself better and show him that you NEVER needed him. Don't do this to get him back, but do it because it is the truth. Time to move on and leave the games to those that are immature enough to play them.

[talaniman]

id like to hear more about what you guys think I should do though about Christmas break...

Make plans with friends and family and have a great time. It's a good idea to cut ties with his family though, but I think they will understand.

New friends, and activities, will get you through this, as its tough during the holidays, after a 3 year relationship, but you can enjoy yourself.

Good luck.

[jmw0713]

Sounds like your moving forward with this with the right ideas in mind. Follow that list and keep yourself as busy as possible. It's amazing what a few weeks of NC and doing your own thing will do. You'll see! :)

[blondndisguise5]

Thank you guys for all your advice way back before the holidays! I just wanted to let you guys know that I had a really good break and with all your advice I am healing well and becoming happier just being with me! I hope you all had great holidays too! Thank you this site and you guys saved me.

[liz28]

Your progress is good and your on the right road and doing the right things. I just wanted to add watching a lot of comedies movies helped me a lot through one of my breakout. Also, when thoughts of him enter your head think of something else don't hold on to that thought. But again I must say your doing good so keep it up.