[Necrose]

Life hates me, as well as everything else. I hate life and everything about everything and feel that life isn't worth it. I accepted death, destroyed my emotions, and fear/care for nothing. Every waking moment for me is torture and lacking anything at all for motivation to do anything. I was diagnosed with depression and took various medications to make me happy all of which made life harder and did nothing for the depression. Worse still the fact that the longer this body is alive the tougher it gets, I'm already imune to most drugs/poisons/antibiotics/diseases though this would make some people happy it doesn't make me. Nothing I've done has worked so What do I do?

[Choux]

You have to make a serious effort to make a good life for yourself... life is a 'do it yourself' project.

Start now and make plan for being happy and active... take up sports first of all. :)

Then, you need a job(going to school is a job), hobbies, an altruistic project to devote yourself to part time, an intellectual interest, good positive friends, and so on.

No one ever built a life taking pills or drugs. Everyone with a happy life put a lot of effort into it and took chances along the way. :)

[Clough]

Hi, Necrose!

How about letting us in on some good things that have happened in your life, like what you have been successful at doing and/or the things that you like to do and in which you're interested?

I'm sure that you'll find a variety of people on this site who would be willing to share with you as to how to overcome thinking the way that you do right now, especially, if you would give us more of an overall picture as to who you are and what you're about.

It's so very true, as stated by Choux above, that a big part of how your life is, is greatly determined by the choices that you make for the direction of your life.

Thanks!

[uvware]

Have you ever explored that you might have a severely imbalanced chemical issue.

I know of this person who had high levels of toxic metals in his system that caused issues in his body's serotine and dopamine levels and other elements that were important in brain function. He also dealt with insulin resistance (form of pre-diabeties) that effected his blood sugar levels that also lead towards depression.

All western medicine doctors did the normal routine tests and said he was OK but finally he found a nutrional kinesiologist and also an accupuncturist that helped him out.

You would be amazed by how our body reacts to missing some basic minerals.

The other way that might help you is start focusing on other people by volunteering your time. Sometimes in depression, we can get so "self" focused that by turning and focusing on other's it helps us see things in a different perspective and step out of the cloud that is surrounding you right now.

[artlady]

I do not want to give you some pat answer like *it will all work out* or something equally lame. You feel the way you feel and I honor that.

Depression is difficult and finding answers for it is as varied as the reasons for it.

Many of us get to real low points in our life when giving up looks easier than fighting the good fight but there must be one thing in this life that gives you a spark of hope.
I find helping others to be a great help to me in overcoming my low times.
Perhaps you should think about joining this site and help others to understand what you have learned about depression.
If you would be willing to be specific about what is bringing you down we could put our heads together and find if not a *solution* but at least a way to get through it.
I am here to help if you want to talk.
Please reach out as there are people who understand and care..I promise you that....Blessings..Michele

[KBC]

What made you ask this question?What brought you here?

If the medications aren't doing much,how long have you been seeing a counciler/psychiatrist?What do they say about the med issues?

I have been on medications for many years,I know about my chemical imbalance,been diagnosed bi-polar and treated as such,successfully,over the last 13 or so years now.

When a person complains about medications not working,I ask why they say that they are not?

Many years of this exact attitude has made me skeptical to this way of thinking,I complained for years that my meds were not working,but in reality,it was my non compliance to them,or some other reason,which made it impossible for the meds to do what they could.They could not relieve the chaos in my head,I had to come to terms with that chaos and the medications would allow me to think clearly enough to address the initial problem.

I would like to continue this reasoning with you if you come back.

KBC

[Necrose]

K here is a bit more... NOTHING good has EVER happened to me. EVERYONE that knows me HATES me, and don't give me that "there has to be atleast one person" crap because I have checked.
The reason pills don't work for me is because normally 1 week into takeing them I become imune to their effects, this has been proven by doctors.
And I don't suffer from being chemically unbalanced I chose this action for myself because it's better not to live than live as an emotionless, uncaring, never fearing being in a world that wants you to suffer but not die.

[N0help4u]

K I have had a very hard life. My boyfriend that I just broke up with the other day had a very hard life. Yet we have two totally different perspectives on life as a result. I have used my experiences to help others and as a stepping stone to understand how to better my life and reach my goals. I try to learn and use my bad experiences as a way to grow.
My now ex boyfriend, on the other hand, constantly complained and talked negative constantly and all I see is his life going in a vicious circle because he doesn't get it at all. He is so self absorbed in his negatively and it has him so dragged down he will never get out of it the rate he is going.

People used to tell me think positive and things will work out--that never worked for me.
It is more about creating your life with your words and reflecting words with attitude.

[N0help4u]

Also want to add a good part of my problem was that I too felt that if I expect the worst then it can't be a let down when nothing good happens for me. So I considered myself a realist on the negative side. I learned NEVER to get my hopes up because nothing good ever happened for me. I choose the same way you are going but I saw I was never going to get out of my rut that way. I slowly set up goals and worked toward them. I still don't ever get my hopes up and I haven't reached my goal but I am thankful I am out of the negative down feelings I use to live with.

[Reicheru-006]

You have to keep living. God didn't put us here for his health.

Do you realize how final death is?

I know this whole life seems pointless but if you really thought so, would you post this? Would you really bother? I'm sure you don't want to die. You posted this to find hope. You'll get through this. Its sink or swim and I know you want to keep fighting to stay aflote

[Maggie 3]

We get out of life what we put into it. There no reason in living
Life if we are not doing for others. When a person is self centered he is boxed into
A very small world looking for the real world. We control our world and life with
Our choices. We get in control of our thought patterns and we can battle all our
Troubles. Don't play around with evil bad thoughts, when one comes into your mind
Reject it and start believing and thinking on good positive thoughts. You have a choice.
You can conquer anything with the power of your mind. We make our own world.
If bad things happen to us we learn from them and overcome knowing we are better
Off learning from. What you believe in, is so, for you. Start thanking, saying, and
Believe, "I AM HEALTHY< STRONG, YOuNG, POWERFUL, LOvING, HARMONIOUS,
SUCCESSFUL AND HAPPY," BELIEVE IT AS YOU SAY IT. There is a saying " Be ye
Transfored by the renewing of your mind. I over came many things that wanted to
Take my life and you can too. Try Jesus, I did.

Maggie 3

[Necrose]

Never suggest religion to me, I don't want to get into a masive battle to why they don't work.

[GoingtoJail99]

Necrose,
Most people would look at me on a reg. daily basis and pass me up thinking I'm a piece of meat. I have depression and anxitey. I have been on a medication. I know what its like to feel so numb that even if I was to do anything or hear anything my body would comp. ignore it. I feel no love, hate, anger. Anything. I feel like I'm just living to die. I have good days and other seem really bad.. I have tried numorous ways to kill myself, but I guess I never have enough in my heart to do it.I was a cutter for years, and no one knew. Most people say that others do it for attention,but I don't think that anyone should be the judge of anothers feelings in life. If you need anything or anyone. Im here to talk to. I know what is like. I swear. Ill be thinking about you..

[KBC]

K here is a bit more...NOTHING good has EVER happened to me. EVERYONE that knows me HATES me, and don't give me that "there has to be atleast one person" crap because I have checked.
The reason pills don't work for me is because normally 1 week into takeing them I become imune to their effects, this has been proven by doctors.
And I don't suffer from being chemically unbalanced i chose this action for my self because it's better not to live than live as an emotionless, uncaring, never fearing being in a world that wants you to suffer but not die.

How old are you?It would help to clarify a few things.

[liz28]

I would be the first to tell you that life is hard. Your going to have your happy, sad, and angry days, and every other emotion.

In the past I suffered from depression after my grandmother die and was given medicine from my therapist and it didn't work but maybe it was due to me giving up on the medication. I took it for about 1 week and decided that I didn't want to take it any more but my counselor did tell me that it does take a few months to work.

Instead of taking the medicine that was given to me, I started to workout. Exercising increase my mood and made me feel better. Maybe you can try that as well. Also, changing your way of thinking can help too. Instead of thinking negative, think positive. Life is about living but your everyday challenges can make it hard but remember when ever you fall down you get up and try again because what don't kill you only makes you stronger.

I thought life was hard until I volunteer at a hospital and saw people that wouldn't be able to walk, or was battling a disease, or a child that came to the hospital with more than 70% of their body burned but they still the desire to live and fight another day. Regardless of their sickness they had this will and strength that shine through and they didn't get them down. They were actually happy. This helped me a lot and then I saw life wasn't that bad.

I don't know if this helps you but I wanted to share my experience.