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    fisha002's Avatar
    fisha002 Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 1, 2008, 08:25 AM
    Having his baby
    I'm 18 years old and just out of an abusive relationship, I have just found out I'm pregnant with his baby, I'm really scared of him and I'm worried he will hurt me again if I tell him
    Please help me
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Dec 1, 2008, 09:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by fisha002 View Post
    im 18 years old and just out of an abusive relationship, i have just found out im pregnant with his baby, im really scared of him and im worried he will hurt me again if i tell him
    please help me

    You can go to Court and get a protective order. You would need to present proof of the abusive relationship.
    Janello700's Avatar
    Janello700 Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Dec 1, 2008, 09:04 AM
    OMG. That's incredibly serious. The good news is that you left the relationship. The most important thing is to protect your baby at all costs even if its from its own father. Tell him on the phone or bring a parent with you if you decide to tell him in person. Then start a record log of all physical and verbal abusive encounters with him. Recollect all the old times too so you can build a case against him so you ensure full custody. Please, please, please whatever you do --do not get back with this man! The safety of your baby now comes first!
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Dec 1, 2008, 10:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Janello700 View Post
    OMG. That's incredibly serious. The good news is that you left the relationship. The most important thing is to protect your baby at all costs even if its from its own father. Tell him on the phone or bring a parent with you if you decide to tell him in person. Then start a record log of all physical and verbal abusive encounters with him. Recollect all the old times too so you can build a case against him so you ensure full custody. Please, please, please whatever you do --do not get back with this man!! The safety of your baby now comes first!


    If he's abusive, why is she telling him anything?

    Go to Court - get a protective order based on the past. Then begin your diary.
    amylund's Avatar
    amylund Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Dec 2, 2008, 02:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by fisha002 View Post
    im 18 years old and just out of an abusive relationship, i have just found out im pregnant with his baby, im really scared of him and im worried he will hurt me again if i tell him
    please help me
    I think you are wonderful for getting out of that abusive relationship.and there are people that can help you.and don't tell him he will have no right to the baby because he is a nutter.an I no you don't think it now but it will get easyer :Dx
    GirlWSlingshot's Avatar
    GirlWSlingshot Posts: 224, Reputation: 21
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    #6

    Dec 2, 2008, 02:49 PM

    Are you staying with someone you trust? Do you have anyone to help you through this time?

    Honestly, I don't know the legal standing of this, but for now... I would get out of town. I wouldn't tell anyone but my closest trusted family members about the pregnancy. I would pursue some sort of restraining order if he's violent. Then I would disappear.

    I left an abusive husband when my baby was 8 weeks old. I know how scary all of this is. Just make sure that you are protected, and the easiest way to do that is to get the restraining order and then vanish. If I hadn't gotten the restraining order and then promptly left the county, I think I would have gone back. And I'm not sure we both would have survived the marriage.

    Do you think he'd be likely to try to get custody or visitation with the child if he knew about it?

    If you do not have family to help you, I would suggest finding a battered women's shelter in your area. Even if you're not going to stay there, they should have crisis counselors and resources available to you.
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