[Jilldalil]

Can you adopt a child even if you are no longer with the child's parent? Here is the situation:

Person A and B had a child. Person B ran off. Person A and C got together and started raising the child together for a couple years. Person A and C broke up. Person C still takes the child every other weekend even though they are not the parent. Person B pays child support but does not see the child. Person B either wants to stop paying child support or start seeing the child now that he has his life cleared up. The child is now 4.5 years old and never met her biological father. Can person C adopt the child even though they are not with the mother anymore as long as she is OK with it. The problem is person C doesn't want to pay child support. Would a judge even let an adoption like that go through?

[MsMewiththat]

The decision is up to Person B as long as Person B is the biological father. It would depend on your state of course but Person B would most likely be relieved of the child support obligation with the waiving of the parental rights. Person C could adopt the child but that then makes you responsible for this child. Along with that most likely would come... you got it... child support. This child deserves the support of two parents. Can I ask without being rude? Why don't you want to pay child support? But want to adopt the child? Maybe you could adopt the child and have her an equal amount of time and perhaps avoid child support, but it kind of doesn't always work out that way?

[Jilldalil]

Well the reason I used person A, B, and C is because it is not me in the actual situation it is my fiancé. This entire situation has caused LARGE amounts of problems within our relationship. I am to the point where I feel like I never signed up anywhere to raise this child he took on knowing it wasn't his and now there are all these problems with it. My fiancé wants to adopt her as he has been in her life since the day she was born. He still takes her every other weekend and two nights during the week. However, he has an older (yes older!) child with the mother. She just raised his child support for the older daughter from being $400 to now $880. He can't afford to pay even more to supprt the younger child now too but he still wants to be her father figure, he loves her like his own. The biological does pay child support and now has completely changed his lifestyle so it is fit for a child. However, he has never even met her and all parties involved agree it would do more damage to introduce him now. The only thing they can't agree on is who is going to pay for her.He said he will let my fiancé adopt and take on the financial part of it or he will keep paying child support but he wants to start seeing then. What do you do??

[Synnen]

Not a chance of that happening.

First off, getting person B's rights terminated is going to be difficult. And if he's been paying child support, then there is no case for abandonment.

Most states also require a committed relationship---and in many cases, that means "marriage"---for an adoption to take place. Once an adoption DOES take place, though, the adoptive parent has all of the rights and responsibilities of a natural parent--including child support.

In other words, you can't keep suckering a guy for child support, never let him see his kid, and let another guy play daddy without him supporting the child. It doesn't work that way.

I suggest you get a lawyer, and work towards finding an amicable way for person B to see his child.

[MsMewiththat]

Actually based on your second submission I would think that you would be able to reach an agreement to adopt the child since the biological father is interested in giving up his rights, but this agreement would most likely include him paying child support for that child unless the mother would agree to no additional support ordered for this child. All of that seems like in a perfect world... wishing on the stars... so I would have to say. It is admirable that he has taken this child on as his own given that there was obviously some back and forth with the mother. Getting an attorney is a good step, but might be putting the cart before the horse if the mother isn't willing to waive the support for this child and your finance isn't interested in paying.

[liz28]

I think you should gradually let the biological father see his child. He has rights and if he really want to see his child he can go to court and request visitations and if anything it might be supervise at first since he doesn't have a relationship with her and after that his supervise visits can change to unsupervise visits.

However in most states they do require that you be married and sometimes you have to be married for at least one year.