[blondndisguise5]

I am 18 and so is he. Todd and I were high school sweethearts and dated for 3 years. We went through a lot together and shared a lot of firsts. But now we are in college. He went off to san diego and I had to stay home in san jose. At first we agreed to just be single but when we saw each other to go back to the way things were. But in his first few weeks down there he told everyone I was his girlfriend and became really devoted. I answered back by loving him. Its almost the end of our first semester and he came home saying that he sees himself with me in the future but he doesn't love me right now and wants to start dating this other girl. I am in more pain then anything I have ever felt before but I have accepted that he needs to date other people and grow into himself before coming back to me. He said that we should be best friends and I am in so much pain but I want to stay in his life. I love him more then anything in the world and honestly believe he is "the one" but then again he is my first love. Do you think he will come back to me? How do I get through this? Does anyone have a similar story? Should I fight for him?

[JohnD212]

I know this is hard. Trust me... we all know. You probably won't believe this when I tell you this... he isn't going to be your one and only love in this world. It is almost impossible to meet someone when you're in High School and remain together for the rest of your life. You will be changing so much over the coming years and its hard for two people to develop together. BUT... if you do love him. Let him go. Don't remain his "best friend". That won't work. The pain you're going through will only drive him further away. Tell him you can't do this half in and half out thing. Say good bye and go no contact.

Yes there is pain. It will hurt for a while and probably more cause it sounds like your first real heart break. I wish I could say it would be your last heart break but most likely it won't be. Hang in there... this is about you. You need to heal and focus on school. He is young. He isn't ready to settle with you but he's also not ready to let you go... do you see what he's doing? He wants you there waiting while he has other girls.

Move on and take care of yourself. There is a lot of good advice on this site. Just do some digging. That's what its here for...

[ZoeMarie]

The only way you're going to get over him is to stop talking to him. From my experience first loves don't usually last but we learn from them. It's time to move on. You've got your whole life ahead of you.