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jolleyjester · Nov 30, 2008, 09:57 AM

My ex-wife and I were friends since we were 13.im 29 now.we devorced about 2 years ago.I wasn't the best husband, I still had some growing up to do. But I did love her,have since we were kids.shes not one of those lovey dovey girls.I on the other hand love those PDAs(public display of affection)and stuff like that. We had 2 kids together and not being with them everyday has been very very hard for me.my ex-wife is a little odd and qwerky but its one of the things that I love about her.also seeing her with my kids makes me fall that much more in love with her.problem is I have a girlfriend that I live with and were expecting a child.my GF is a good girl and we have a lot of things in common but I just don't feel about her what I feel for my ex.(by the way me and my ex were exact opposites,but I thought that kind of balanced us out.)i don't even know if she would or could come back now.I think she has seen me change and is know mad because I didn't change while we were together.the truth is I can't see me living the rest of my life without her,I don't want to!I could probably make a life with my GF and a decent one but I I know I will always feel this way about my ex,so I'm selling the GF short.sometimes I think my ex mite would give it a shot if not for the kid on the way.WHAT SHOULD I DO?

NowWhat · Nov 30, 2008, 10:09 AM

Wow. You should be honest with all those involved. You need to tell your GF that you still have strong feelings for your ex-wife. You need to tell your ex that you still love her.

It is not fair to your GF to keep her in the dark. If you don't think you love her the way she deserves to be loved and probably never will because of your feelings for your ex - then you need to tell her.

Communication is key in all strong relationships. Saying that - by letting the GF in on your secret - you may be letting her go in the process.
But a lifetime of "like" is not fair to anyone.

You need to be honest about your feelings.

450donn · Nov 30, 2008, 10:25 AM

While I totally agree that communication is the key, it is obvious that you have stuck your finger in the dike so to speak and now the dam is about to burst. What possessed you to get into a relationship, and them father another child when you knew deep down that you did not love this person? Selfish comes to my mind. I think you need to get your act together and figure out what is important in your life and go for it. That may mean being alone for a long while. I don't know, but you have to do something honest for a change.

GirlWSlingshot · Dec 2, 2008, 09:33 AM

So essentially, your original family became too hard so you started a new one, and now you've decided that you really want the first one back and will therefore abandon the second family?

I know that sounds harsh, but that's just a summary of the situation. Consider the innocent children in all of this. You have two already and another on the way. Make sure you do right by them first and foremost.

I'm not saying that people should stay in relationships that they're miserable in. But keep in mind that none of the children asked to be put in the middle of this like/love/resentment triangle.