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rebel father · Nov 29, 2008, 09:22 PM

What are the laws in the state of Pennsylvania about birth fathers signing over their rights to the birth mother?

rebel father · Nov 30, 2008, 08:55 AM

What do I need to do to try to sign the rights of my son over to the birth mother? He is two years old, but I didn't get to see my son till he was 4 months old, and life has been hell every since. We weren't married or even together when he was born. She is living with another guy and is engaged and currently expecting a child with him and that's OK but when it comes to my Fiancé my ex does not accept it. Her fiancé constantly harasses me through texting, calls and even in person, but one day my fiancé looked her way and my ex flipped saying she was disrespecting her. She'll balme things on us that never happened, I don't know where he goes to daycare, anything about his health, I can't take him to the doctor because to her that's the "mommys" job. I'm not on his birth certificate and he does not have my last name. She constantly calls when I have him and if one of her friends see's me out with him late she gets mad. Her and her fiancé always call me a dead beat dad. One day she even approached me and my fiancé at a store and ripped my fiancé around and got in her face with logan in her arms. My ex's fiancé is allowed to pick up and drop off my son, but my fiancé isn't allowed to do anything. One day she even called me a child molester in the middle of a stores parking lot screaming it because she seen a picture of my fiancé holding my son and got mad and said I was a child molester because my fiancé and I are 5 years apart. I'm tired of not being able to be the father I want to be because of her, and all the stress and harassment that comes along with it. What's the laws to giving up my rights to her & what do I have to do? :confused:

N0help4u · Nov 30, 2008, 09:02 AM

If your name is not on the birth certificate and you do not have any court orders for child support or custody then what rights do you need to sign over?
Sounds like all you have to do is start claiming that you are not sure he is your son and until she proves otherwise she can stop sending him to you.
I really don't see where you have any rights right now. Sounds like all she is doing is allowing him to visit you at her convenience.
Now if you wanted custody or partial custody that is another whole issue on how to handle.

N0help4u · Nov 30, 2008, 09:07 AM

You can't sign over your rights.
I live in Pa and if dad's could do that there would be a long line
Of dad's signing so they could get out of child support.
If she is not remarrying and having her new husband adopt there is really only one thing you can do and that is give her full custody but you are still responsible for paying child support.

But from your other post it looks like you aren't legally claimed as the father anyway so you really do not have any rights anyway. Until you sign the birth certificate or go through the court you really aren't technically legally the father anyway
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/parent...er-286615.html

rebel father · Nov 30, 2008, 09:39 AM

Thank you for your answer but here is more information that I didn't put down the first time. I was proving to be the father in a genetic's dna test. No my name is still not on the birth certificate nor my last name even though he is my child. There haas to be away to put an end to all the madness that I'm going through. I have been in and out of court for the past two years for visitation. I have held her in contempt and still I rarely get to see him. The court order means nothing to me because she don't listen to it. In my case court is a waste of time trying to get visitation. Even with a court order she still don't let me see him and if she does she is late. It also states in the court order the everyone has to be civil towards each other but her and her fiancé can say or do anything to me and my fiancé and that's fine to her. What should I do and how much of the name calling from the both of them can a guy put up with till he blows up. I mean its every time she calls me I'm always a dead beat dad, but honestly I'm not. I'm trying everything I can to make this work but I cann't take it much longer. What can I do?:mad:

Wondergirl · Nov 30, 2008, 09:52 AM

I read your other posts and have a question. Are you contributing financially toward your son, now that you know, through DNA testing, that he is really yours? Maybe that's part of the mother's problem, if you are not paying your fair share.

JudyKayTee · Nov 30, 2008, 09:52 AM

Originally Posted by rebel father

Thank you for your answer but here is more information that i didn't put down the first time. I was provin to be the father in a genetic's dna test. No my name is still not on the birth certificate nor my last name even tho he is my child. There haas to be away to put an end to all the madness that i'm going through. I have been in and out of court for the past two years for visitation. I have held her in contempt and still i rarely get to see him. The court order means nothing to me because she don't listen to it. In my case court is a waste of time trying to get visitation. Even with a court order she still don't let me see him and if she does she is late. It also states in the court order the everyone has to be civil towards eachother but her and her fiance can say or do anything to me and my fiance and thats fine to her. What should i do and how much of the name calling from the both of them can a guy put up with till he blows up. I mean its everytime she calls me i'm always a dead beat dad, but honestly i'm not. i'm trying everything i can to make this work but i cann't take it much longer. what can i do?:mad:

This is a continuation of another thread and should be added to that thread. In fact, I see you have three threads going on this same subject.

Your only recourse is to take her to Court for contempt of a Court Order if she will not let you see the child or will not follow any other provision of the original Court Order.

I realize you think the Court Order means nothing but if either one of you is contempt you could be fined and in some instances, jailed.

I never understand the "be civil to each other" provision because your version of civil may very well be my version of obnoxious and the other way around.

You are the father of the child and the madness you are experiencing is part of no longer being part of the couple raising that same child.

N0help4u · Nov 30, 2008, 09:55 AM

I believe that legally you can take telephone answering machine recordings to court if you have them. Do you have a court order stating you have to pay child support?
You need to write everything down
Dates you were denied visits
Dates and times she was late giving him over to you for the visit.
What they did and said that was harassment and specify as much as possible- even dates and times and what he or she called you or your girlfriend.
Everything you can think of that would look bad on her part and take her back to court for not following the court order.

JudyKayTee · Nov 30, 2008, 09:58 AM

Originally Posted by rebel father

what do i need to do to try to sign the rights of my son over to the birth mother? He is two years old, but i didnt get to see my son till he was 4 months old, and life has been hell every since. We weren't married or even together when he was born. She is living with another guy and is engaged and currently expecting a child with him and thats ok but when it comes to my Fiance my ex does not accept it. Her fiance constantly harasses me through texting, calls and even in person, but one day my fiance looked her way and my ex flipped saying she was disrespecting her. She'll balme things on us that never happened, i don't know where he goes to daycare, anything about his health, i can't take him to the doctor because to her thats the "mommys" job. I'm not on his birth certificate and he does not have my last name. She constantly calls when i have him and if one of her friends see's me out with him late she gets mad. Her and her fiance always call me a dead beat dad. One day she even approached me and my fiance at a store and ripped my fiance around and got in her face with logan in her arms. My ex's fiance is allowed to pick up and drop off my son, but my fiance isn't allowed to do anything. One day she even called me a child molester in the middle of a stores parking lot screaming it because she seen a picture of my fiance holding my son and got mad and said i was a child molester because my fiance and i are 5 years apart. I'm tired of not being able to be the father i want to be because of her, and all the stress and harassment that comes along with it. What's the laws to giving up my rights to her & what do i have to do? :confused:

If you are being assaulted/harassed, report the incidents to the Police. Same with your current girlfriend. The fact that you weren't married or "even together" when the child was born does not change the apparent fact that you are the father.

You can't just give up your rights. It's pretty much that simple.

She calls you a dead beat. Are you supporting your child?

Go to Court and get all of this straightened out.

Curlyben · Nov 30, 2008, 10:01 AM

>THREE threads Merged<

Please stick to one rather than starting a new thread for each response.

N0help4u · Nov 30, 2008, 10:01 AM

Also save any and all receipts for anything you give to her, child support and even gifts and whatever you spend on your son so she can not claim you are a deadbeat dad.
They use to credit what you spent on your child toward your child support but I am not sure they do that anymore but the receipts will reflect in your favor even if they no longer do that.

rebel father · Nov 30, 2008, 10:07 AM

Thank you for all the answers but no one understands what I go through. Yes I pay child support since the day he was born and I found out he is my son, I pay child support for him. I put her into contempt of court over 4 times and all the judge done was throw them out every time. I had a notebook filled with incodents where she harassed me or done anything to me and my fiancé and the judge would not look at it. Everything you guys told me I have tried and it does not help, so yes to me court orders are for the birds. I love my son but I'm tired of what I have to go through when it comes to her. She is honestly psycho and I have called the cops when she don't show or anything and all they say is they can't do anything we have to file contempt. So what else is there to do? Live the rest of my life as a father that I can't even be to him now? It don't matter about the money, I will still pay child support for him, I could just give her full custody. Thank you for all your answers but nothing works, calling child services, contempt, going back for more visitation or overnights, calling the cops. Nothing works, it seems the court system lets her get away with everything because she is the mother. I'm running out of options and I'm tired of the life I live with her in it.

JudyKayTee · Nov 30, 2008, 11:10 AM

Originally Posted by rebel father

Thank you for all the answers but no one understands what i go through. Yes i pay child support since the day he was born and i found out he is my son, i pay child support for him. I put her into contempt of court over 4 times and all the judge done was throw them out each and every time. I had a notebook filled with incodents where she harassed me or done anything to me and my fiance and the judge would not look at it. Everything you guys told me I have tried and it does not help, so yes to me court orders are for the birds. i love my son but im tired of what i have to go through when it comes to her. She is honestly psycho and i have called the cops when she don't show or anything and all they say is they can't do anything we have to file contempt. So what else is there to do? Live the rest of my life as a father that i can't even be to him now? It dont matter about the money, i will still pay child support for him, i could just give her full custody. Thank you for all your answers but nothing works, calling child services, contempt, going back for more visitation or overnights, calling the cops. Nothing works, it seems the court system lets her get away with everything because she is the mother. I'm running out of options and i'm tired of the life i live with her in it.

Have you called the Police on the harassment/name calling? The Police will not get involved in anything faintly resembling contempt. I have no idea why the Courts won't hear your contempt motions, no idea at all.

If she's "honestly psycho" file for custody. That will cause the Court to snap to attention and evaluate the parties in the best interest of the child.

I see these situations posted here all the time - was she psycho when you were together or did that happen later?

N0help4u · Nov 30, 2008, 11:19 AM

I do understand because I have been through H@! With the Pa. family court system too and there is NOTHING you can do but the best you can. They have laughed at me in court for telling the rotten things the CYS workers pulled on me. The workers and the Judges railroaded me in their kangroo court system. They seem to be above the law. They say 'the best interest of the child' and then leave the child with the abusive psycho parent and refuse to acknowledge it. I even tried to talk to good lawyers, call the Pittsburgh Press and KDKA TV and none of them wanted to touch it because CYS is above the law here.
There is nothing you can do but everything that is required of you.
You can ask that when you exchange the child it be done at a police station. You can set things up in a way that there is minimal contact. Like you can ask that your mother or somebody you trust do the exchange.
There are ways around a little bit of the problems but with the court system they way it is there is no one big thing you can do to fix everything.