[warmdusk]

I am very confused. My ex keeps starting these very deep, dramatic conversations with me lately. They're mostly about him being unhappy with his life. I mean... is he depressed? Doesn't he have anyone else he can tell this stuff too? It's sort of weird to start IM'ing up your ex girlfriend whom you just dumped 2 months ago and talking about serious, life-topics. We only dated two months any way. His reason for dumping me: he saw me as a really good friend but didn't feel like he knew me well enough for what we were.

So last night he logs on AIM and wishes me happy thanksgiving and asks what I did. Then he tells me about his, normal enough. Then he just blurts out the random deepness: how he feels like he doesn't know himself sometimes. How he feels like he needs to experience more, but not just like going out and doing activities, he says he wants to "feel again". That he feels trapped but he's not sure why or by what. So, trying to be insightful, I ask him if he knows what he feels that he's lacking. He says "love". He's quiet for awhile so I ask him if he's feeling lonely. Then I tell him that oftentimes I feel lonely because I live alone and work a lot. He agrees and says that it makes you stronger.

Then he starts talking about how he feels youth is sliping away and that he's starting to feel old and he's distressed by this. Then he starts on another tangent, about how he feels that people see him as unsociable. That he's quiet and to other people, this seems unfriendly. I tell him that he seemed friendly enough when I met him, even before I really knew him. And he says that he feels like he's sitting idley while everyone else is out and about doing things. And how that's depressing because he doesn't feel like he should have to change himself.

Then we start talking about love at first sight. I tell him I don't believe in it. He says he's not sure if he believes in it. I tell him it's impossible to have real, selfless, enduring feelings for a stranger and that anything else is infatuation. He agrees. Then we talk about the point of time in which you know whether someone is right for you after starting a relationship. I tell him that it's when the newness wears off and you're able to see the real traits and decide for yourself whether they're compatible with your own. He agrees to this also. Then he wishes me happy thanksgiving again and goes to bed. What on earth is up with this?? Is this not very weird? I feel conflicted because I was hurt when he broke up with me. I'd felt like he didn't give it a chance. Now two months later, I'm doing a lot better, but I still have moments of weakness where I'm upset at how it turned out. Should I tell him how I feel and that I don't think I'm the right person to open up too about this stuff? I think I've hidden my real feelings pretty well thusfar..

[cadillac59]

How old is your ex?

[warmdusk]

He's 25. However, I know he has a lot going on in his life... his mother has a degenerative brain disorder that is slowly taking away her ability to function on her own and will eventually prematurely take her life. He found out a year ago(long before he met me) that he too has this very same disease, so his life expectancy is shortened.

[cadillac59]

He's 25. However, I know he has a lot going on in his life...his mother has a degenerative brain disorder that is slowly taking away her ability to function on her own and will eventually prematurely take her life. He found out a year ago(long before he met me) that he too has this very same disease, so his life expectancy is shortened.

When you said he was 25 I had to laugh (just briefly until I finished your entire post) since you mentioned something about him saying he felt he was getting older and his life was slipping away; but, if he's got a disorder that will shorten his life I understand where he is coming from.

Gosh, it does sound like he's got a lot on his plate and needs all the support he can. I suppose that is all you can do is listen and be as supportive as possible.

[talaniman]

He looks to you for support, and was venting. There is nothing for you to do but listen, and be supportive. If you wish to not be there as a friend, then don't be.

[h0llister]

Help him as much as you can and want. But if it gets too much for you. Suggest to him that he should see a counselor to talk to about his problems.