[fudgeeo]

This is a long story, but only a small part of it!!

Basically, my husband and I have been together for the past 5 years, and have been married for 9 months. For the first 2 years of our relationship his parents were fine with me, until we finished college and decided to move to another province for work. They really blamed me for the move, and made it clear to my husband that I was no longer welcome in their home.

They were very very controlling of him while he lived at home or visited from college, telling him what to do, what not to do, and getting very angry when he did something they did not tell him to. For example studying with me for college finals rather than helping his father fix an atv... that sort of thing. At this time, he was 23.

They have tried to convince him that I am the controlling one, that I have ruined their relationship, that I am not good enough for their family, and that I am ruining his life. I find this funny because I do not drink, do drugs, cheat, etc. and I bring home just as much money as he does. We actually have a great relationship, rarely fight, have great trust in each other, and just love being together.

2 years ago while home for Christmas his parents fought with him and threw him out of the house (on Christmas Day actually), so he came to my house, which was 4 hours away. That night he asked me to marry him, and when he told his parents this news they told him to never call or step foot in their house again.

So this Christmas will be 2 years since he has spoken to them. We got married down south, and so did not pass out formal invitations. However, we made it known to them that they were welcome to come, as long as they would be civilized. They did not. They did send emails to my husband on our wedding day telling him he was making a mistake, how much it hurt that they were not invited, how if his grandparents were still alive that they would not want anything to do with him either, etc.

So the problem for me is that I don't think that them not approving of me is any reason to disown their son. I have encouraged him to get into contact with them, and have emailed his mother to express my feelings. I just think that they should have a relationship for the sake of his two younger brothers, themselves, my husband and our future children. It does not bother me that they don't like me, or approve of me cause I know that I have never committed a wrong in this situation.

So I am just wondering if I should keep encouraging him to contact them, or should I just butt out? I don't bug him about it, but I do bring it up every couple of months or so, just asking how he feels about it, and if he is interested in calling them. I am close to my family, and I don't understand how they can do that.

Thanks

[talaniman]

I advise you to back off, and let him worry about his own family. Its one thing to know how everyone feels, but its quite another to interfere in their relationship.

Hey be great if everyone gets along, but when they don't, any change is up to them.