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    BobbyVandeyar's Avatar
    BobbyVandeyar Posts: 95, Reputation: 6
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    #21

    Nov 26, 2008, 10:17 AM

    And if your wondering what I'm thinking. I think that ima just leave it at that. I'm still giving her space to let her relax because she's got one more final and you know just time to let her enjoy. Me I got school in a few so yeah lol I think that me replying just saying telling her to enjoy her day and call me later was good to leave it at. I don't think ima call her or bug her. Let her call me or text me whenever she wants. Is that right does that make sense?
    BobbyVandeyar's Avatar
    BobbyVandeyar Posts: 95, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #22

    Nov 26, 2008, 10:20 AM
    P.S I don't feel as nervous or as worried about her giving up on me or taking me back. Nor am I depressed about the whole break up thing anymore. I just want to take things slow with her. And work it back up. I'm actually calm.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #23

    Nov 26, 2008, 10:38 AM
    Her is a link that's good food for thought,
    Long Distance Relationship Advice | The Frisky,

    And another one that can shed some light on things,

    Five sure ways NOT to get over someone - CNN.com,

    At this point, your pen pals, or long distance friends, and there should be no pressure on either of you, to not enjoy your life, and do as you please. Unless there is an agreement to do otherwise, and I doubt there is, its important to do your own living without her, and not worry about a relationship.

    I think it best, because your both on different life paths, and have much to do as individuals, you not count on this relationship to be any thing but what it is. FRIENDS. Keep it honest, and real, and stay away from the confusion that comes from false hope, or wanting more because of the distance, or circumstances.

    We never know what happens next in our lives, but don't get carried away by feelings, with no facts to back them up.

    Hope she visits, and you enjoy each others reunion, but just be practical about how this thing can grow, given the distance.

    Good luck!
    BobbyVandeyar's Avatar
    BobbyVandeyar Posts: 95, Reputation: 6
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    #24

    Nov 26, 2008, 12:32 PM
    I understand. I guess in a way I'm still holding on because I just don't think that its really over. We broken up yes, but us getting back together is a possibility. Although she's far away I put so much of an impact that in her eyes I'm the first person that she has ever said I love you as a boyfriend. It means a lot to me. To know that I'm the first guy she has ever loved. Whatever happens. Im ready for it. But in the meanwhile I'm avoid constant conversations just to I guess take some time for me to get back on track. And at the same time give herself some space. In a way I used the NC thing to show her that I'm not that much in need of her anymore. I feel that if I keep calling her like I used to its like I'm still tied up and I'm never going to get over it. I want to show that I am not weak and that I have learned and that I'm more stronger and confident in myself. And at the same time maybe for her to start missing me. That's just what I think.

    And the whole thing about going back to being the person that she fell in love with she said? Not forgetting about who I am. I understand more what she meant. I am who I am. I made mistakes. Very constantly. I learned and I am starting to be more confident in the things that I'm doing. I look at this site as a guide and so far I'm thankful of being a part of it. Like I said previously to her. Whether we do or whether we don't get back together I enjoyed what we had. Im not rushing into getting back. I just want to take this slow. And see where it goes. I don't need to tell her over again I'm always going to be here. Because she knows I jammed it into her head so much when I was clingy and mushy lol. There is always a chance I believe in any relationship depending on the situation. But right now otherwise I'm enjoying myself and I am happy. And right now that's all I care about. I told her to give me a call when your not busy. And I will leave it at that. Ima take this time now to enjoy myself and relax. When she calls or texts. That's when I will respond.


    Like you said talaniman. You never know.

    Feel free to comment guys
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #25

    Nov 26, 2008, 12:51 PM

    In a way I used the NC thing to show her that I'm not that much in need of her anymore.
    That's a game you really don't want to play, which is why I say to keep it real.

    If you keep it honest straight and don't play those kid games of manipulation, even in small ways, it's a lot easier to see the reality of the situation. That's important to good communications, decision making, and problem solving.

    I put so much of an impact that in her eyes I'm the first person that she has ever said I love you as a boyfriend. It means a lot to me. To know that I'm the first guy she has ever loved
    Talaniman rule # 14- Never assume what someone else is feeling, just because thats what your feeling!

    You honestly don't know what impact you have had.
    BobbyVandeyar's Avatar
    BobbyVandeyar Posts: 95, Reputation: 6
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    #26

    Nov 26, 2008, 08:15 PM
    After reading that. And thinking for a minute. I got to re evaulate my decisions as to how to handle it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #27

    Nov 26, 2008, 11:12 PM

    Talanimans rule #1- When they ask for a break, or space, Give it to them.

    No begging, crying, pleading, or praying, No birthday cards either!!

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