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fj-corn · Nov 25, 2008, 07:45 PM

My ex and have been on a break for a week. 4 days ago she asked me if I still wanted to go to her thanksgiving when I'm done with mine. I asked her if she wanted me to go and she replied yes of corse. So I told her I would. To start this break she said she did not know if she wanted to be in a committed relationship now. We agreed to get togather in a month or so to talk about us. We were going out for 14 onths when this happened and it seemed like everything was OK. So my question is should I go or what should I do.

fj-corn · Nov 25, 2008, 10:52 PM

Another question that I have is it OK to talk to her as long as she starts the conversation? I was good friends with her before we got togather so I would like to keep that iff possible.

NorthernNiceGuy · Nov 25, 2008, 10:54 PM

I'd suggest not going to her place for dinner. Joining her and her family for thanksgiving is something a boyfriend would do. Getting to end your relationship and still have you around doesn't seem quite fair to me. How do you honestly feel about it? In your question you didn't mention if this break had brought you great sadness. How do you think going to this dinner would affect you. I couldn't have done it, it's likely to make you feel horrible.

NorthernNiceGuy · Nov 25, 2008, 11:00 PM

Originally Posted by fj-corn

another question that i have is it ok to talk to her as long as she starts the conversation? i was good friends with her befor we got togather so i would like to keep that iff possible.

It's like you're asking for permission on what you can do with this girl. Now like most (including myself) a breakup devastates you... And in that case trying to remain friends and keep in contact is a horrible idea. Separating yourself from that person allows you to heal and move on.

It kind of seems to me like you would be OK with just being friends, so tell me... How do you see trying to remain friends and going to this dinner making you feel?? Because if you don't see it bothering you than I don't see what the harm is... but if you do see it hurting you than you just have to keep your distance, for your own sake, it's really for the best.

fj-corn · Nov 25, 2008, 11:20 PM

This brake has been really hard. I want to get her back. I have some things to give back to her but we talked about getting togather later to talk about us so maybe I could give it back then. I feel kind of weird about going over there. So your saying do not respond to her trying to talk to me?

NorthernNiceGuy · Nov 25, 2008, 11:43 PM

I think it is in your best interests to do what the two of you set out to do in the first place. Take a break (meaning no contact) for one month, than reconvene and see what she has to say. And from there you should either move on or reconcile.

NorthernNiceGuy · Nov 25, 2008, 11:47 PM

And you don't have to ignore her, just let her know that she wanted this break and that you think being on your own for that month is what you would like. Trust me, trying to be her friend during this time will do nothing more than make you miserable.

fj-corn · Nov 25, 2008, 11:50 PM

All right. So do not reply to her when she tries to talk to me until we figure out where we are going? I think it might be hard to go to her thanksgiving but then I think that mybe she is trying to reconsile. Or is she being shelfish by using me to let her self down easyer.

fj-corn · Nov 25, 2008, 11:52 PM

OK ill just tell her I'm going to give her some space for a while and see how she feels afterwords

NorthernNiceGuy · Nov 25, 2008, 11:59 PM

Originally Posted by fj-corn

ok ill just tell her im gunna give her some space for a while and see how she feels afterwords

Yeap, give her the space SHE asked for... (whats space if you are still doing the same things together.) She's got to get her feelings controlled on her own and you guys can come together later and discuss them. Until then you are keeping your distance.

fj-corn · Nov 26, 2008, 12:10 AM

OK. Thanks for thehelp. Ill try to stay strong.