[Sherin333]

So I leave for my trip tonight. Getting excited! BUt not really. I had a pretty solid sleep though. My friend took me out for my birthday dinner last night and that was nice. I still don't get ithis break up thing though. ( I know tiger you'll probably want to shake me)lolbut.. I think the thing that gets me the most is that we are not on good terms. Of course I know NC NC NC and I have no plans on breaking that by no means but, I don't feel comfortable talking to him even if he did call and he probably feels the same way. We were together for a long time and to cut somebody out of your life like that is horrible. I feel horrible, I'm doing things for myself and I feel good, but I miss him like the deserts missthe rain. I feel like I'm being punished. I am by no means an angel but we could have worked this out. We had fun together and as days go by I seem to think ofd the good times opposed to the rotten times. I have no idea what he is thinking, or doing, or with, and yes many would say that I shouldn't care, but like he felt he couldn't change the way he felt about me, this feeling I have is not going away. It maybe will but brutal in the meantime. I wish things were differerent, I wish I could have changed the way things went down, I mean we spent the whole weekend together and then when I went home on Monday he decides not to call me, and when I do he tells me he was trying to avoid this, That's utter bull$hit. I was with you for two years, we shared everything, and now you try to avoid breaking my heart? Is that coward or what? What is the definition of coward? Someone who doesn't want to face the music? Someone who is hiding something? Someone who simply doesn't give a ? Anyway. I'm going on my trip with all inten to bask in the sun, swim in the ocean, and forget about this world I live in. But... it will all be here for me waiting when I get back. I can run from having to go to school, or needing to go to work but I CAN NOT run away from my heart!

[talaniman]

I CAN NOT run away from my heart!

You don't have to run from your heart, as you're a human being with feelings. You do have to learn to cope with your feelings, and what life throws at you, we all do.

Its called growing pains. We all go through it, and grow from the experience.

Your turn!

[Sherin333]

So, I'm back. I had an amazing time! The people, the foofd, and the DANCE. I loved it, I wish I could live there on the resort with these people. What a beautiful beautiful place. VIK Areans Blancas Resort, Punta Cana, Dominicana Republica. Time of my life. Sooooooo, he called my phone on my birthday. Who would have thunk. His mom sent me a text and his sister sent me an email. I sent out a mass message thanking my friends for my birthday wishes I received while on my trip. My birthday was on Thursday and I hired a professioanl photographer to take pics of me of the beach. I felt like a Victoria Secret model, no joke. I needd this trip. So, in this email I sent out some of those pics with it. Is it bad that I sent them to his sister? Am I hoping that she'll show him and I can rub it in his face this way? Anyway, I really have no desire to all him back or takl to him. He basically only called me to wish me a happy birthday, right? If I was home and I picked up his call that would have been so awkward? I don't really have any desire to talk to him. I DID think of him on my trip, every couple I saw, even the serenity from the ocea reminded me of him, and I cried maybe twice. I am very disappointed that this happened to us. It's been over a month since we spoke and I don't know if we will ever speak again. Who knows? But I do know that I willl booking my next trip very very soon, mi amigas!

[kctiger]

Well happy belated Birthday! Sounds like you had a good time. It is always good to go on a big trip after a sad event occurs in your life. It is getting pretty cold where I am, so I would love to be on a beach right now! Keep us posted on your progress. And, you know you shouldn't call him back. Keep on moving forward.

[Sherin333]

So his sister emailed me back asking where I went. I just said Dominican Republic. And that's it. I don't want to talk to her anymore:( Because he called me on my birthday, do I have to call him on his? I don't want to! Because he only called me to wish me a happy birthday right??

[kctiger]

No, don't call him on his Birthday. You owe him nothing.

[Sherin333]

Okay!

[Sherin333]

So, I knew it. Once the day came that I cut down on thinking of him and feeling like a bag of , I wake up this morning to a text message from him!! A picture of us that I took on his phone of us kissing and he wrote under it, Where did we go wrong? What does that mean? He wants to know why HE *d up, or he misses me, or he just wants to talk. I'm not sure but I don't really want to deal. It took me so long to get to where I am am and so much support from you angels that I don't know what to do? What does he want from me? Why do I feel bad but good at the same time?

[DeleteAndBan]

Its so obvious. He just wants to know that you still want him.

He's like a hunter chasing prey that he knows is just about to give in. The moment you actually do give in, the hunt is over again and he will go back to normal/uninterested. You have the power now, use it wisely.

[Sherin333]

He's not only sent the message this morning, he also called me today at 4. I was so scared and I had no idea what to say so I never picked it up? What do I do now?

[kctiger]

Ignore him! Turn your phone off, change your number... or, you could pick it up and play right into his hands. It is your choice. You are an adult and can make any choice you want. I would not pick it up and I would move forward, not backwards.

[Sherin333]

You would seriously do that?

[kctiger]

Yes. I have been in your position. So, you pick the phone up, talk for awhile, hang up and you then are left posting on this website about what everything meant. I actually did change my number. Protect yourself, don't open yourself up for more pain and more questions.

[Sherin333]

What if this is my chance to make it better, to change the way things were and be happy together. I'm so confused, What if he needs me right now?